Re: Petty Squabble [ROUND 1] [Fort Ayers, New Atlantis]
08-30-2011, 08:36 PM
Originally posted on MSPA by Pinary.
Private Arnold Jerfanderworth was not in the bathroom. He wasn't really sure where he was, actually- the door hadn't been marked, and had the power not gone out in this rarely-used section of the base, it likely would've been locked as well.
Or rather, it likely would've been locked from both the inside and outside, instead of just one way. As it was... well, he was starting to get a bit hungry. There wasn't any food in there; in fact, aside from the big, old-school steel cylinder that took up about half the room, there wasn't much of anything, really.
-
Through sheer coincidence, the man everyone was suddenly paying attention to in COFCA's conference room was also named Jerfanderworth. Instead of being a bumbling, unfortunate military private, however, he was a brilliant temporal physicist who had just proposed a record-breakingly lazy and roundabout solution to a pressing issue.
Megasenator Whittenberg was the first to break the silence. "A time machine?"
Several of the more science-literate members snickered at him.
"No, Megasenator," Jerfanderworth replied, moustache twitching side-to-side as he tried to figure out how to simplify his explanation even further. "A time capsule. We can use various readings to determine precisely where Envoy currently is, then send a crew there to construct a sealed capsule. The capsule will sit dormant until the appropriate time, at which point it will open up and send it whatever it is we think would be useful."
COFCA's newest employee, Dr. Chester B. Arthur, spoke up. "But what about paradoxes? Shouldn't we be worried about sucking the planet into an inter-temporal schism of some sort?"
"Not if we play our cards right, no." The scientist made a vague gesture with one hand, and one of his disgruntled aides fumbled with a tablet until a diagram appeared on several screens around the room. "You see, if we hire a contractor, give them specifications, then leave them be, the feedback loop that constitutes a paradox would have no chance to form. As long as none of us communicate with the contractors after we've hired them, there's no way that the outcome of their efforts could come back and change what they actually do."
The motion for "WEIRD TIME SHIT?" passed quickly, and a list of things that would make Envoy look good was drafted up soon after.
-
As the RV plummeted down, no one thought about much of anything. It really only lasted for a few seconds, and the RV was tumbling enough that they couldn't really tell anything about what sort of surface they'd be landing on. John didn't have time to consider the hilariously nonsensical technobabble that the COFCA representative had been spewing, Ashley didn't have time to think about anything but hanging on, and Baby Emma... well, if she'd had anything in particular to think about, she didn't have much time for it.
Even if they had had hours to think about things, though, it's doubtful that they would have considered the possibility of a neat hole being bored into the roof of Fort Ayers and disgorging a pair of flying blurs. It wouldn't have even occurred to them that one of the blurs would speed towards the RV, attach itself to the bottom, and begin slowing the vehicle's descent. The thought that a pair of autonomous support drones might've been sitting under Fort Ayers for years wouldn't have even crossed any of their minds.
-
Even less likely to think of such things was Nancy, who was too busy finally losing the modicum of calm rationality she'd been barely holding on to up to now. She didn't even register the existence of the second support drone, let alone that it was saving her from a really-quite-near brush with the ground and levelling the helicopter out at a safe altitude.
-
Topping the list of people who didn't give thought to the drones' existence, though, was Private Arnold Jerfanderworth. He was much too distracted by the remaining contents of the cylinder. In particular, he was occupied by the discovery that a myth he'd been skeptical of for most of his life was, in fact, true.
"Come on," some tech had whined, back when the time capsule was being loaded up, "what's the worst that could happen?"
"Fine," his boss had replied, "throw it in. I still think that story's full of crap, though."
"You'll see," the tech had said, grinning as he threw in the last item and swung the door shut. "When this thing eventually opens up, that twinkie will totally be full of alcohol."
Private Arnold Jerfanderworth was not in the bathroom. He wasn't really sure where he was, actually- the door hadn't been marked, and had the power not gone out in this rarely-used section of the base, it likely would've been locked as well.
Or rather, it likely would've been locked from both the inside and outside, instead of just one way. As it was... well, he was starting to get a bit hungry. There wasn't any food in there; in fact, aside from the big, old-school steel cylinder that took up about half the room, there wasn't much of anything, really.
-
Through sheer coincidence, the man everyone was suddenly paying attention to in COFCA's conference room was also named Jerfanderworth. Instead of being a bumbling, unfortunate military private, however, he was a brilliant temporal physicist who had just proposed a record-breakingly lazy and roundabout solution to a pressing issue.
Megasenator Whittenberg was the first to break the silence. "A time machine?"
Several of the more science-literate members snickered at him.
"No, Megasenator," Jerfanderworth replied, moustache twitching side-to-side as he tried to figure out how to simplify his explanation even further. "A time capsule. We can use various readings to determine precisely where Envoy currently is, then send a crew there to construct a sealed capsule. The capsule will sit dormant until the appropriate time, at which point it will open up and send it whatever it is we think would be useful."
COFCA's newest employee, Dr. Chester B. Arthur, spoke up. "But what about paradoxes? Shouldn't we be worried about sucking the planet into an inter-temporal schism of some sort?"
"Not if we play our cards right, no." The scientist made a vague gesture with one hand, and one of his disgruntled aides fumbled with a tablet until a diagram appeared on several screens around the room. "You see, if we hire a contractor, give them specifications, then leave them be, the feedback loop that constitutes a paradox would have no chance to form. As long as none of us communicate with the contractors after we've hired them, there's no way that the outcome of their efforts could come back and change what they actually do."
The motion for "WEIRD TIME SHIT?" passed quickly, and a list of things that would make Envoy look good was drafted up soon after.
-
As the RV plummeted down, no one thought about much of anything. It really only lasted for a few seconds, and the RV was tumbling enough that they couldn't really tell anything about what sort of surface they'd be landing on. John didn't have time to consider the hilariously nonsensical technobabble that the COFCA representative had been spewing, Ashley didn't have time to think about anything but hanging on, and Baby Emma... well, if she'd had anything in particular to think about, she didn't have much time for it.
Even if they had had hours to think about things, though, it's doubtful that they would have considered the possibility of a neat hole being bored into the roof of Fort Ayers and disgorging a pair of flying blurs. It wouldn't have even occurred to them that one of the blurs would speed towards the RV, attach itself to the bottom, and begin slowing the vehicle's descent. The thought that a pair of autonomous support drones might've been sitting under Fort Ayers for years wouldn't have even crossed any of their minds.
-
Even less likely to think of such things was Nancy, who was too busy finally losing the modicum of calm rationality she'd been barely holding on to up to now. She didn't even register the existence of the second support drone, let alone that it was saving her from a really-quite-near brush with the ground and levelling the helicopter out at a safe altitude.
-
Topping the list of people who didn't give thought to the drones' existence, though, was Private Arnold Jerfanderworth. He was much too distracted by the remaining contents of the cylinder. In particular, he was occupied by the discovery that a myth he'd been skeptical of for most of his life was, in fact, true.
"Come on," some tech had whined, back when the time capsule was being loaded up, "what's the worst that could happen?"
"Fine," his boss had replied, "throw it in. I still think that story's full of crap, though."
"You'll see," the tech had said, grinning as he threw in the last item and swung the door shut. "When this thing eventually opens up, that twinkie will totally be full of alcohol."