Re: Petty Squabble [ROUND 1] [Fort Ayers, New Atlantis]
07-27-2011, 02:14 AM
Originally posted on MSPA by Lord Paradise.
As the mech fell away from her, Ashley just barely managed to grab on to the rear bumper of the RV while hanging onto her knives. Unfortunately, the bumper was a far from ideal handhold, and the RV was shaking back and forth with the wind, so this proved an unsustainable situation. And so Ashley fell.
Luckily, the robot was there. Envoy looked a rather silly sight up close, gently lowering the RV with the arms that sprouted out of its shoulders while encircling Ashley’s waist with the serpentine arms coming out of its chest. The robot turned its glowing eye-analogues towards Ashley, making no kind of expression that revealed any kind of intent to do anything.
Ashley growled. Being caught in a robot-hug when there was violence going on up above wasn’t precisely what she had in mind. “What are you waiting for?” she barked at the robot. “Take me up there.”
Envoy complied after only a brief delay. The arms extended and slowly, carefully snaked up towards the roof of the RV. Where the bullets seemed to have stopped. Awwww, did I miss it?
She’d missed it. There was nothing on the RV but a bunch of humans and a cybernetic-looking corpse. “Shhh!” shouted one of the soldiers over the wind, gesturing to a woman Ashley vaguely recognized as the Broderburg matriarch. “Be quiet! She’s sleeping!”
So she was. “Good god,” mused Ashley. “I could be dead and still not get any sleep under these conditions.”
“Well,” pointed out another soldier, “She has a baby. This is probably about as quiet as her life gets.”
And then the helicopter showed up, as if on cue.
* * * * *
”No, I do not have the wrong number! I’m not even looking for anyone in particular! You are Red, aren’t you?”
Alison was talking to a boy. Ethan couldn’t prove it, but he knew it. He could just imagine what the boy was saying on the other end of her phone. “I’m red cause you make me blush so much, cause I’m your boyfriend.”
”The New Batt—well I don’t care if you’re the Cincinnati Red or the Rhode Island Red or whatever!”
”You talking to Communists, Alison?” asked Dad. Ethan didn’t know what a Communist was, so he ignored that, and so did Alison.
Ethan couldn’t hear what the boy was saying, but it sounded kind of like “I’m going to drive from Rhode Island and we’re gonna go on a date.” It was gross. It was so gross he wanted to throw up.
Alison probably wanted to throw up all the butterflies in her stomach cause she was so much in love. ”A copy of what? …Oh. Well, you could have said that in the first place! Can you put me through to someone who is real?”
”Honey, just remember, just because you’re friends with someone doesn’t mean they can tell you who to vote for.”
”The love between us is real,” said the boyfriend in Ethan’s mind. “We’re gonna get married for real and make your stupid brother wear a tie and watch us kiss each other in front of everyone at the wedding.” That one was so gross that if the floor wasn’t shaking, he would have gone into the bathroom and made the biggest, chunkiest throw-up in the history of ever. Or maybe it was just cause the RV was flying so fast.
“Dad?” asked Ethan, while Alison listened to her boyfriend make kissy noises over the phone. “Is there really a flying robot carrying us? For real?”
”That’s what I thought I heard your mother say, son. I didn’t see it.”
”How big is the robot?” Before Dad could answer, Alison ruined everything by opening her big ugly mouth again.
”Hi. Yeah, this is Alison Broderburg, I’m in one of the battles. Who’s this? Well, hi, Jen.” Jen was a girl’s name! Why did Alison’s boyfriend have a girl’s name? Was her boyfriend a girl? He had heard about that in school, and he and Tyler had agreed that that was double-gross. Just from hearing about it, they’d had to go through cootie chemo to make sure they weren’t infected.
”No, mine’s just some guy. The Charlatan. I’m here with my whole family. Yeah, really, four of us and the baby. And the RV came along too. It’s not that bad. I mean I don’t really think anyone’s gonna try to kill anyone or anything. The only other fighter I met was really cool. And there’s another one helping us out with some car trouble right now, I think.” Alison was so gross that Tyler would probably need cootie chemo again. But there wasn’t any mud around, or anything to drink it out of. "So the other four are all dead? That suc—stinks.” Alison did that face she makes when she almost uses a bad word in front of dad. Ethan looked at her and made his I-Know-What-You-Did face, which was like smiling only uglier. ”Were any of them your friends or anything? Oh. Oh, I’m sorry. …Like a pet rock? I used to have one of those.”
Just when Ethan was starting to get bored, the door opened. Which is really cool cause the guy who came through the door, he must have flown in from the sky or else jumped from a helicopter or something. Ethan could hear the helicopter flapping its blades right now.
”Afternoon, Broderburgs,” said the guy. He looked really cool. ”The ‘fasten your seatbelts’ sign is on, since it looks like we’re gonna be coming in for a landing soon. I’m your flight attend—“
”You’re John Smith!” yelled Ethan, getting it right. “I remember you from the beginning of the battle.”
”Don’t talk to strangers, Ethan,” warned Dad.
”Strangers?” Ethan could tell by the way John said that that he was really hurt on the inside by how rude Dad was being. ”Us battlers gotta stick together, right? We’re all friends here.” John made a big smile that looked really friendly to Ethan, but for some reason, it made his baby sister Emma start to cry.
As the mech fell away from her, Ashley just barely managed to grab on to the rear bumper of the RV while hanging onto her knives. Unfortunately, the bumper was a far from ideal handhold, and the RV was shaking back and forth with the wind, so this proved an unsustainable situation. And so Ashley fell.
Luckily, the robot was there. Envoy looked a rather silly sight up close, gently lowering the RV with the arms that sprouted out of its shoulders while encircling Ashley’s waist with the serpentine arms coming out of its chest. The robot turned its glowing eye-analogues towards Ashley, making no kind of expression that revealed any kind of intent to do anything.
Ashley growled. Being caught in a robot-hug when there was violence going on up above wasn’t precisely what she had in mind. “What are you waiting for?” she barked at the robot. “Take me up there.”
Envoy complied after only a brief delay. The arms extended and slowly, carefully snaked up towards the roof of the RV. Where the bullets seemed to have stopped. Awwww, did I miss it?
She’d missed it. There was nothing on the RV but a bunch of humans and a cybernetic-looking corpse. “Shhh!” shouted one of the soldiers over the wind, gesturing to a woman Ashley vaguely recognized as the Broderburg matriarch. “Be quiet! She’s sleeping!”
So she was. “Good god,” mused Ashley. “I could be dead and still not get any sleep under these conditions.”
“Well,” pointed out another soldier, “She has a baby. This is probably about as quiet as her life gets.”
And then the helicopter showed up, as if on cue.
* * * * *
”No, I do not have the wrong number! I’m not even looking for anyone in particular! You are Red, aren’t you?”
Alison was talking to a boy. Ethan couldn’t prove it, but he knew it. He could just imagine what the boy was saying on the other end of her phone. “I’m red cause you make me blush so much, cause I’m your boyfriend.”
”The New Batt—well I don’t care if you’re the Cincinnati Red or the Rhode Island Red or whatever!”
”You talking to Communists, Alison?” asked Dad. Ethan didn’t know what a Communist was, so he ignored that, and so did Alison.
Ethan couldn’t hear what the boy was saying, but it sounded kind of like “I’m going to drive from Rhode Island and we’re gonna go on a date.” It was gross. It was so gross he wanted to throw up.
Alison probably wanted to throw up all the butterflies in her stomach cause she was so much in love. ”A copy of what? …Oh. Well, you could have said that in the first place! Can you put me through to someone who is real?”
”Honey, just remember, just because you’re friends with someone doesn’t mean they can tell you who to vote for.”
”The love between us is real,” said the boyfriend in Ethan’s mind. “We’re gonna get married for real and make your stupid brother wear a tie and watch us kiss each other in front of everyone at the wedding.” That one was so gross that if the floor wasn’t shaking, he would have gone into the bathroom and made the biggest, chunkiest throw-up in the history of ever. Or maybe it was just cause the RV was flying so fast.
“Dad?” asked Ethan, while Alison listened to her boyfriend make kissy noises over the phone. “Is there really a flying robot carrying us? For real?”
”That’s what I thought I heard your mother say, son. I didn’t see it.”
”How big is the robot?” Before Dad could answer, Alison ruined everything by opening her big ugly mouth again.
”Hi. Yeah, this is Alison Broderburg, I’m in one of the battles. Who’s this? Well, hi, Jen.” Jen was a girl’s name! Why did Alison’s boyfriend have a girl’s name? Was her boyfriend a girl? He had heard about that in school, and he and Tyler had agreed that that was double-gross. Just from hearing about it, they’d had to go through cootie chemo to make sure they weren’t infected.
”No, mine’s just some guy. The Charlatan. I’m here with my whole family. Yeah, really, four of us and the baby. And the RV came along too. It’s not that bad. I mean I don’t really think anyone’s gonna try to kill anyone or anything. The only other fighter I met was really cool. And there’s another one helping us out with some car trouble right now, I think.” Alison was so gross that Tyler would probably need cootie chemo again. But there wasn’t any mud around, or anything to drink it out of. "So the other four are all dead? That suc—stinks.” Alison did that face she makes when she almost uses a bad word in front of dad. Ethan looked at her and made his I-Know-What-You-Did face, which was like smiling only uglier. ”Were any of them your friends or anything? Oh. Oh, I’m sorry. …Like a pet rock? I used to have one of those.”
Just when Ethan was starting to get bored, the door opened. Which is really cool cause the guy who came through the door, he must have flown in from the sky or else jumped from a helicopter or something. Ethan could hear the helicopter flapping its blades right now.
”Afternoon, Broderburgs,” said the guy. He looked really cool. ”The ‘fasten your seatbelts’ sign is on, since it looks like we’re gonna be coming in for a landing soon. I’m your flight attend—“
”You’re John Smith!” yelled Ethan, getting it right. “I remember you from the beginning of the battle.”
”Don’t talk to strangers, Ethan,” warned Dad.
”Strangers?” Ethan could tell by the way John said that that he was really hurt on the inside by how rude Dad was being. ”Us battlers gotta stick together, right? We’re all friends here.” John made a big smile that looked really friendly to Ethan, but for some reason, it made his baby sister Emma start to cry.