Re: This Guy's Problem (TWS)
12-07-2011, 09:56 AM
"...no he didn't do it. HE DIDN'T DO IT!"
You scream and kick back at the guard while you hang from the noose. The members of the COURT seem too busy applauding the LORD'S decision as well as getting ready to see a much-loved PUBLIC EXECUTION, to really care what's the crazy solicitor is up to.
The guard, a six foot tall burly man with armor emblazoned with the LORD's insignia, approaches scraggly Andy (you never learned his name) fully intent on taking the poor peasant to his death. You knock him a good one in his face. He doesn't take too kindly to that, and yanks you, puppets and all, off of the noose with a single hand. His other hand dips into the large jar of OTTO'S EPOXY, pulls out a brush and slops a glob of it on your butt.
He then sticks you down on the bench. It has a surprisingly strong hold. OTTO is very well known for his glues. He also happens to be the LORD'S BROTHER, hence the use of glue in the LORD's judicial system.
You can't pull yourself off without risking EXPOSING yourself to the LADIES OF THE COURT. You aren't THAT KIND OF CRAZY. Besides, that's what you get for playing with NOOSES.
So you sit there. Stuck. The guard takes away the peasant, seat and all, and carries him out of the DEFENSE CHAMBER. The members of the court marvel at the spectacle of a man whose MURDER they assume will bring them SAFETY.
All because of HIM...
You take HOBO JONES out of the bag and place him on your finger.
"What do I do guys? I can't take this anymore. It will just HAPPEN AGAIN. and AGAIN. and AGAIN."
You nod. You know you're never in a good place when HOBO JONES starts to make sense but you DON'T CARE.
"I HATE HIM SO MUCH. And now I'm only ALIVE because of HIM? He's always SMILING and NODDING and LOOKING BETTER THAN ME. LOOKING DOWN ON ME...and now ANDY? I never even LEARNED HIS NAME.
"I bet he doesn't even KNOW what's going to happen to him. And CLARION can just sit there and sleep comfortably at HOME with his WIFE and PARTIES and HAPPY LIFE and I GET NOTHING.
"Maybe I could get him? Maybe I could TEACH HIM A LESSON? Maybe I could BUDDY UP with him and SCREW HIM OVER and...
You start sobbing into your puppet laden hands. You are mostly ALONE now. There are a few stragglers in the courtroom. Mostly PEASANTS that don't want to get in the way of the NOBILITY. They avoid looking at you.
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Oh you heard quite well. He certainly said 'STABBED'. You've told this story so many times it's a bit refreshing to listen to someone else retell it. Your WIFE is probably sick of hearing it, herself, but she STAYED HOME tonight so you don't think she would mind. You would like to hurry home to her before it gets too late, however.
You are now CLARION VERGIS
>_
You scream and kick back at the guard while you hang from the noose. The members of the COURT seem too busy applauding the LORD'S decision as well as getting ready to see a much-loved PUBLIC EXECUTION, to really care what's the crazy solicitor is up to.
The guard, a six foot tall burly man with armor emblazoned with the LORD's insignia, approaches scraggly Andy (you never learned his name) fully intent on taking the poor peasant to his death. You knock him a good one in his face. He doesn't take too kindly to that, and yanks you, puppets and all, off of the noose with a single hand. His other hand dips into the large jar of OTTO'S EPOXY, pulls out a brush and slops a glob of it on your butt.
He then sticks you down on the bench. It has a surprisingly strong hold. OTTO is very well known for his glues. He also happens to be the LORD'S BROTHER, hence the use of glue in the LORD's judicial system.
You can't pull yourself off without risking EXPOSING yourself to the LADIES OF THE COURT. You aren't THAT KIND OF CRAZY. Besides, that's what you get for playing with NOOSES.
So you sit there. Stuck. The guard takes away the peasant, seat and all, and carries him out of the DEFENSE CHAMBER. The members of the court marvel at the spectacle of a man whose MURDER they assume will bring them SAFETY.
All because of HIM...
You take HOBO JONES out of the bag and place him on your finger.
"What do I do guys? I can't take this anymore. It will just HAPPEN AGAIN. and AGAIN. and AGAIN."
Hobo Jones Wrote:It's like the story of the grasshopper and the ant. The ant buddied up to the grasshopper and then when the grasshopper wasn't expecting it the ant brought him to the swamp to get eaten by a frog, and that taught the mooching bastard what's what.
So what I'm saying is offer Clarion a drink. Suggest that the two of you can maybe share tips on stuff or something. Get in his good graces so you can find his darkest secrets and greatest weaknesses.
You nod. You know you're never in a good place when HOBO JONES starts to make sense but you DON'T CARE.
"I HATE HIM SO MUCH. And now I'm only ALIVE because of HIM? He's always SMILING and NODDING and LOOKING BETTER THAN ME. LOOKING DOWN ON ME...and now ANDY? I never even LEARNED HIS NAME.
"I bet he doesn't even KNOW what's going to happen to him. And CLARION can just sit there and sleep comfortably at HOME with his WIFE and PARTIES and HAPPY LIFE and I GET NOTHING.
"Maybe I could get him? Maybe I could TEACH HIM A LESSON? Maybe I could BUDDY UP with him and SCREW HIM OVER and...
Mr. Fuzzy Hat Wrote:>And maybe learn to be a decent solicitor!
You start sobbing into your puppet laden hands. You are mostly ALONE now. There are a few stragglers in the courtroom. Mostly PEASANTS that don't want to get in the way of the NOBILITY. They avoid looking at you.
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Quote:Make sure you didn't mishear. Make sure it wasn't SPEARED.
Oh you heard quite well. He certainly said 'STABBED'. You've told this story so many times it's a bit refreshing to listen to someone else retell it. Your WIFE is probably sick of hearing it, herself, but she STAYED HOME tonight so you don't think she would mind. You would like to hurry home to her before it gets too late, however.
You are now CLARION VERGIS
>_