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Pick Yer Poison · 12-07-2011, 02:48 AM

I've already said most (all?) of this to you, but it bears repeating, because I feel strongly about it.

You are smart. You're in college! Studying chemistry! I couldn't even wrap my head around chemistry in freshman year. It's one of the most confusing subjects I know. And this is coming from a guy who's just barely scraping by in AP Physics. And come on, you know two languages; that's something awesome right there. I tried learning Japanese for three years and I can't even form a coherent sentence in it that isn't just "Neat!" or "It's cold!"

Furthermore, you can keep a level head in conversation with other smart people, like Pinary, DragonFogel, Schazer, SleepingOrange, etc., etc. Even if you don't feel you have any technical knowledge, that in itself shows you aren't even close to stupid.

You are fun. When you're in the chatroom it's always much livelier. I look forward to when you come online, because there's always a healthy, enjoyable amount of chatter going on when you're around. A true loser couldn't do that. Even if it's online, it's still a part of you as a whole. Even while you're worrying that maybe you're a loser all the way to the core, you are surrounded by people who enjoy talking to you on an almost daily basis. You're not a loser to us. To me.

And if your outward face suddenly changed for the better - and I am speaking from experience here; this happened to me - people wouldn't look back at your past and go, "What a loser!" They'd look at who you are now and go, "What a great person!" It might take a while to change your image, and I won't lie and guarantee it'll be easy. But if you do, nobody with any sense will spurn who you've become in favor of who you were. And if they do? They're not worth your time.

You are nice. I can't recall seeing you ever insulting someone when it wasn't clear to everyone you were just kidding around. You don't make fun of other people's legitimate problems. Chatting with you is easy and comfortable because I don't have to worry about feeling insulted or belittled by the way you phrase things.

And when you are mean, you give a shit. You snapped at your mom and felt terrible about it. You felt bad enough about the little lies you've told us that you confessed about having done it. I'm afraid I can't pick out any more examples, but it's only because I haven't seen you being mean all that much. c:

And while we're on the lying: you know what? I forgive you. And furthermore, I respect you for telling us about it. I don't blame you for liking the feeling of being mysterious; I'd be a hypocrite if I did. But you're already special and interesting. And mentally fixing your memories is something more people than you'd think do. Most peoples' memories aren't even close to perfect, and it's seriously tempting to modify the fuzzy bits to be how you like. I've done it, more times than I can count. I don't blame you for doing it and I respect you for standing up about it.

Now in regards to work. If you're having trouble shifting yourself between the internet and school, you should take a break from the internet. Yes, it would mean we wouldn't get to see you around. The chatroom would be a good deal less interesting around the time you'd usually come online. But finals will come and go, and then you can come back online if you still feel it's an important part of your life. Unlike the internet, finals will not still be there if you put them aside for too long. And if I advised you to choose the internet over your schoolwork, so I could be happier in the short term in exchange for you being happy in the long term, then I wouldn't be a good friend of any kind.

So summarized: I care about you. I don't think you're a loser. I think you're smart, nice, and fun to be around in general. And I'm pretty sure everyone else here at Eagle Time does too.

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