Re: In which Woff admits.
12-06-2011, 09:38 PM
I'm not a very motivated person
All the work is piling up, and it's just making me less likely to do it. As much as admitting it is feeling like a chore right now, and I just want to stop doing stuff. I don't get why everyone can alwyas be so busy and not do something they regret at some point. I have honestly considered giving up college because it's been too much of a burden to juggle with internet. Yes, I don't have my priorities straight, but straightening those would take time, time which could be spent on schoolwork, which I'll never do because I'd rather confess things to an empty crowd on Eagle Time.
It's december, I haven't even started to think about finals yet. I really should be. I have been wondering what that feeling was since college started. I thought that it'd take some time getting started again, then it was taking time getting used to college, then Chemistry wasn't really my thing, then it was the November Blues and now it's december and I don't have any excuses left other than "I am just a lazy piece of shit."
This also reflects on my hobbies too: I have been meaning to write, a lot, but the nagging thought that I should be doing something else with my time always bites me at some point making me feel like crap for enjoying myself. I've been sucking at games, failing to write, pretending to draw, imagining inspiration and I genuinely feel stuck between not wanting to do schoolwork because I want free time, and not enjoying my free time because I should do schoolwork, and I can't focus on any of the two entirely because I both need them to think straight.
I read bob's flipshit, where he said he'd have to be in a good position to quit the internet shoudl the occasion arise, and I thought it was silly. "That's silly," I said, "why would you need to arrange yourself to quit that?" But now I can feel more than ever, between the pressing need of two giant obligations that you really need to prepare to give up a hobby.
All the work is piling up, and it's just making me less likely to do it. As much as admitting it is feeling like a chore right now, and I just want to stop doing stuff. I don't get why everyone can alwyas be so busy and not do something they regret at some point. I have honestly considered giving up college because it's been too much of a burden to juggle with internet. Yes, I don't have my priorities straight, but straightening those would take time, time which could be spent on schoolwork, which I'll never do because I'd rather confess things to an empty crowd on Eagle Time.
It's december, I haven't even started to think about finals yet. I really should be. I have been wondering what that feeling was since college started. I thought that it'd take some time getting started again, then it was taking time getting used to college, then Chemistry wasn't really my thing, then it was the November Blues and now it's december and I don't have any excuses left other than "I am just a lazy piece of shit."
This also reflects on my hobbies too: I have been meaning to write, a lot, but the nagging thought that I should be doing something else with my time always bites me at some point making me feel like crap for enjoying myself. I've been sucking at games, failing to write, pretending to draw, imagining inspiration and I genuinely feel stuck between not wanting to do schoolwork because I want free time, and not enjoying my free time because I should do schoolwork, and I can't focus on any of the two entirely because I both need them to think straight.
I read bob's flipshit, where he said he'd have to be in a good position to quit the internet shoudl the occasion arise, and I thought it was silly. "That's silly," I said, "why would you need to arrange yourself to quit that?" But now I can feel more than ever, between the pressing need of two giant obligations that you really need to prepare to give up a hobby.
quidquid Latine dictum sit altum videtur.