In which Woff admits.

I am not a very honest person

I love lying. I just do. There is some kind of thrill to changing reality and getting away with it that I just can't deny. I don't think I have ever, ever at any point in my life, been entirely honest to someone. I always have like, a hidden agenda, or a little white lie somewhere, or an exaggeration.

The worst part is I'm so good at it. For years I have been able to uphold my secret identity. Nobody was supposed to know who I am, the forum I frequented most even didn't know my own gender, even after me posting a picture. It just felt so good for someone to not know something about me. As if I was special, and someone wanted to find out. Like a secret agent or whatever.

I haven't even been very honest on this forum either. I often lie about little details of my life just so they seem more like something I would do in that situation. Most of the time I don't think of a witty response until after the fact, and I want to be funny so bad that in my mind I start editing out the moments I screw up and replace them with one-liners, fixing my life in post.

I've never gotten very very drunk, I haven't even kissed before. I'm not a lesbian. I'm not fine, how are you.