This Guy's Problem (TWS)

>Maybe you should make your closing statement? Just what information do you have at hand?

You ask the questions from the corner of your mouth in a high falsetto voice while nodding at the airborne Worpinshire.

"That's an astute question Lady Worpinshire!" You respond in normal tones, doing your best to make it seem as if this is part of an elaborate closing argument, and not just frantically trying to figure out a way to make it out of here - bones and all.

> Furthermore, it would nice to know what that guy's been charged with. Because you really can't make it any more of a farce than it already is if you're not allowed to defend your client properly.

You mimic the soothing baritone that you assume Mr. Fuzzy Hat naturally possesses (were he a real person and not a bead-eyed piece of fabric)

"Indeed! Mr. Fuzzy Hat. What is this humble man charged with? Is it theft or treason or any of the other multitude of crimes peasants are known for having swimming about in their bloodlines? Why it is not!"

> OBJECTION! Our client is clearly insane and therefore cannot possibly be held culpable for his actions.

"Yes Captain, he IS insane! And does this crime look like the work of a peasant? An INSANE peasant? Why, the sheer detail by which such a heinous act must have been committed requires a far superior intellect than that possessed by this thieving doofus."

You gesture towards your client. You never bothered learning his name. You call him "scraggly Andy" in your mind though. He is busy trimming his toenails with his teeth.

The evidence, man! What happened to all your evidence!?

You talk in your poor spanish accent, which, admittedly falls far short of the real, eloquent, spanish accent Senor Sasparilla would have were he or had he been a real person and not just a puppet you keep under your hat.

"Ah! Senor, but the evidence is right here! This man, could he be called a man, is completely incapable of the atrocity he is accused of! He does not even know how to read, much less the finer aspects of surgery! And while we do all love to see a good peasant-murder, there..."

"Uh, no! Because I'm not the Solicitor at all, I'm his mad hobo brother who ran in from the street! I beat him half to death and chucked him into a cave, so he should be back two days from now!"

You kick your bag of puppets.

"Shut Up. Hobo Jones, you are NOT HELPING."

"As I was saying there is no reason to assume this man preformed this crime!"

The Lord's eyes glare at you, unconvinced.

"For...for you see the...(come on guys help me out here)...the real cause of this crime was..."

You "pause" for dramatic effect and not at all because you have no idea what to say next.

>_