WHO ARE THE REAL MONSTERS?!?!?!??!? MAFIA N5: nothing happened

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WHO ARE THE REAL MONSTERS?!?!?!??!? MAFIA N5: nothing happened
Re: WHO ARE THE REAL MONSTERS?!?!?!??!? MAFIA D1: Some guy died
Originally posted on MSPA by Mirdini.

And after those technical difficulties, the mafia channel is back! We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

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SPOOK HUNTERS - THE SECRETS OF THE PALAMEDES FACTORY
COLD OPEN:
EXT. ABANDONED PALAMEDES FACTORY - NIGHT

Two flashlights scan the crumbling walls of the factory. MIRDINI and SOLARIS look at each other, then back towards the factory. A large TRESPASSERS WILL BE HAUNTED sign hangs on the fence in front of them.

MIRDINI
You ready for this? It's your first mission in the field since you were a hero at SOME GUY'S HOUSE.

SOLARIS
I'm no hero. I'm just an old ghost hunter... hired to do some wet work.
They toss their backpacks over the fence, then clamber over themselves. Mirdini points towards a nearby fire escape door leading to the factory floor. They form up on either side of it. Solaris reaches into his backpack to retrieve an EMF INDICATOR. The needle is in the RED SPOOK ZONE.

MIRDINI
Ignanoo, that thing's going crazy.

SOLARIS
Yeah. Place be spookin'. You bring the Tenderizer?

MIRDINI
You know it.
Mirdini pulls THE TENDERIZER out of his bag. He flicks the switch to turn it on. The vacuum tube attached starts to hum.

He SLAMS it into the door. The door FLIES off its hinges. Dust clouds the air. SOLARIS dashes inside, ANTI-SPOOK NET GUN at the ready.

INT. ABANDONED PALAMEDES FACTORY - FACTORY FLOOR - NIGHT

Solaris and Mirdini stand by a conveyor belt. Robot parts litter the floor. Both stare at the giant steel STATUE OF MALKYTOP looming over the rest of the factory.

SOLARIS
Metal Malky...?

MIRDINI
I'd hear Palamedes had a thing for Malkypoints, but this...
Solaris spits on the floor.

SOLARIS
That's... pretty sick, man.
They proceed further down the factory floor, heading towards the MANAGEMENT OFFICE. The EMF INDICATOR is beeping wildly. No ghosts are in sight.

Forlorn pictures of CREPUSCULARDISSEMBLER, MRGUY, Paranoia and LUNEIX hang on the "Employee of the Month" wall they pass. They reach the door of the management office. Enraged beeping and booping can be heard coming from within.

MIRDINI
Sounds like Palamedes never left his factory. Then again, it could just be a different 'bot. A coincidence.

SOLARIS
Well, I don't believe in coincidences.
MANAGEMENT OFFICE

PALAMEDES beeps wildly, smashing desks, chairs and various other office furniture. Solaris and Mirdini BREACH the door, with Solaris firing his ANTI-SPOOK NET to hold Palamedes down. Palamedebot is undeterred, ripping the net apart.

MIRDINI
Well shit.

SOLARIS
(to Palamedes)
You want eternal rest? I got it right here!
Solaris grabs THE TENDERIZER out of Mirdini's shocked grip. He slams it into PALABOT.

Palamedes flies into a wall. Dropping to the floor, the red goes out of his ROBOT EYES.

Mirdini grabs the EMF INDICATOR and points it at Palamedes. Display is in the green NO SPOOK ZONE.

MIRDINI
Looks like he wasn't a spook after all, just an angry robot.
(To Solaris)
A cardboard box? Why are you...?
Solaris has found a cardboard box, and hidden himself within.

SOLARIS
I dunno. I was just looking at it, and suddenly I got this irresistible urge to get inside.
No not just an urge - more than that. It was my destiny to be here; in the box.
Suddenly, the EMF INDICATOR goes haywire while pointed at a nearby desk. Mirdini opens it, only to find an unexpected HAUNTED NOTEBOOK.

MISTERVISCERAL
I refuse to answer your questions!
Solaris climbs out of the box in alarm. He grabs the ANTI-SPOOK SPRAY and goes to town on MisterVisceral.

SOLARIS
Now you're a mere mortal, just like us.

MISTERVISCERAL
But can you kill this mere mortal?
Cackling, MisterVisceral and the notebook containing him fly away. MIRDINI, SOLARIS and PALAMEDES are alone in the now SPOOKLESS office.

MIRDINI
Well that sure was something.
We'd better get out of here, this hasn't taken more than a few hours

SOLARIS
Home in time for dinner.
Suddenly, spotlights light up the entire factory. Megaphone feedback screeches loudly before a familiar voice starts talking.

SCHAZER
This property now belongs to Schazbux Industries after a contract signing with Ixcal Property.
Any trespassers will be incinerated in 20 seconds.

MIRDINI
Schazer! What's she doing here?

PALAMEDES
Schazbux is conglomerate. Likely wishes to use land for creation of more Schazbux.
Has no use for my factory. Recommend immediate escape.

SOLARIS
It's showtime.
The three dash for a nearby window.

EXT. ABANDONED PALAMEDES FACTORY - NIGHT

The Schazbux Industries Zeppelins surround the factory. SCHAZER stands in the control room of the largest one. IXCALIBUR is nearby, looking rather nervous. Schazer presses the ACTIVATE FLAMETHROWERS button with obvious glee.

The factory explodes.

FLASHBACK TO:
INT. GHOST HUNTING VAN - NIGHT (Four Hours Ago)

MIRDINI
Solaris, have you seen the "Ghostbusters" series?

SOLARIS
I don't like those movies. Real ghost hunters are nothing like Peter Venkman. It's pure fantasy.

MIRDINI
Solaris, I don't think Beruru's going to like you saying that.

SOLARIS
And even though it's fiction. I can't help but comparing myself to Venkman.

BERURU (O.S.)
(Over the radio)
What exactly don't you like about Ghostbusters? Is it the fantastic gadgets? The ghosts? The proton packs?

SOLARIS
Beru...!

BERURU (O.S.)
Solaris, wouldn't you like to have a pair of ectogoggles?

SOLARIS
What good are ectogoggles going to do me in combat? I'd look like a fool.

BERURU (O.S.)
Then what about a slime blower? You could make it look like you're cleaning something and then get a shot in on the ghosts while they're distracted.

SOLARIS (V.O.)
Ok, now you're being ridiculous.
BACK TO PRESENT

Schazer gingerly steps through the flaming wreckage of the factory. Ixcalibur trails nervously behind.

SCHAZER
Yes, this will make a perfect location for Schazbux next industrial complex.
Ix, be a dear and make sure the mayor agrees to our tax exemption request.

IXCALIBUR
Right away boss.
Ixcalibur walks away, hailing a nearby chauffeur.

Schazer notices something in the rubble, pulls out a slightly roasted EMF INDICATOR.

SCHAZER
Spook Hunters...? But that would mean...
Schazer whips out her CELL PHONE.

SCHAZER
Get me in touch with our Anti-Spook Department, now.
A few moments pass.

SCHAZER
It looks like some spooks are hanging around my future factory.
Spooks are bad for productivity.
Who's your best man for the job?
...
konec0? Yes, he'll do fine. Deal with them. Extreme prejudice is authorized.
CUT TO:

TO BE CONTINUED

END SCENE
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Vote: MisterVisceral


Messages In This Thread
Re: WHO ARE THE REAL MONSTERS?!?!?!??!? MAFIA D1: Some guy died - by Mirdini - 01-24-2013, 04:17 AM