GRANDMASTER ADVICE COLUMN

Dear GAC

I accidentally teleported my contestants into the wrong location and now I don't know where they are. What do I do?

- The Incompetant

Dear Incomp,

First of all DON'T PANIC. Panicking could completely ruin the situation. Hopefully, they'll have been teleported somewhere where they instantly died or someplace they can't escape and find you from. Hope to dear god that you haven't teleported them into someone else's space, and if you did, hopefully one that won't try to kill you for it. Now, there's nothing you can do to locate them. So, uh, make clones or alternate universe versions of them and pretend that nothing happened in the first place.

-GAC

Dear GAC

So my friend the Trendsetter was telling me about these Grand Battle things that were going down, even though he knows that I'm strictly a dimensions-hopper, not a trawler like his ilk. Next thing I know, there's eight complete randoms running amok in my pocket dimension, and I've got no idea how they got there! I'm tempted to just take them for my own, but am unsure about how multidimensional property law works in places without linear space or time.

Regards,

The Gatecrashed

Dear Gate,

First of all DON'T PANIC. Panicking could result in one or more of the contestants panicking also and they could totally ruin your stuff. No one wants that. Hopefully, you'll be able to lock all of them in one place, like a closet or your guest bedroom. Hope to dear god that they haven't gotten into the kitchen or Mad Science labs. Now, you can't really steal their contestants because oh gosh what if that guy comes looking for you and he like vaporizes you? Just keep them locked in the closet, hopefully, it was intentional. One of them will die, and the grandmaster will teleport them away. If not, and all but one die, just kill that last guy. He'll be a piece of cake. Also, start doing some research and find the jerk who teleported contestants into your personal space! If he doesn't look to tough, beat him up. Repeatedly.

-GAC