GreyGabe' WebQue t [Texting, Texting, 123]

> Malkovich. Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich.

> Attempt to communicate with self.

> But wait! Who's filming you?

Yeah, you just wish you were being John Malkovich right now. Nope. Still Gabe.
You try to get your own attention. You then turn around, to see if it’s working. You’re not sure! You can’t see anything or anyone behind you, just the entrance to the Adventure Theater. Nobody seems to be filming you, and you don’t see yourself through some sort of screen portal like you do up front. No matter what you do, the Gabe on the screen is facing away from you. Hmm…

>Hit on a random audience member. This cannot possibly go wrong in any way whatsoever.

Okay, sure. Why not? You can’t really tell who anyone is in the dark, so you pick someone at random and sit down next to them.

“Hello, sexy. Would you like to go on an adventure?”
“…Gabe?”
“…Hi, AgentBlue.”
“…”
“…”
“…You maybe want to get your hand out of my lap?”
“Yeah, sure.”

You think you hear someone giggling a few rows back. You turn around just in time to catch a round figure in a Batman cowl ducking out of sight. Grr.

>Try and step into the screen.

Eager to escape this awkward situation, you jump up from your seat, take a runner’s stance in the aisle, and launch yourself full speed at the screen.
“WOOP ZOOP!”

When you regain consciousness a few minutes later, you find yourself lying on the floor under the screen. For future reference you note that they build these screens against walls, apparently.
Several people are gathered around you, looking down with worried expressions.

“M’kay. ‘m O…kay.”

You sit up unsteadily. You notice that on the screen, in the midst of the green smear you left when you hurtled into it face first, there’s also a thin trickle of red. You check to make sure that you still have all your teeth and that your nose is still attached. Check and check. You do seem to have done some damage to the ol' schnoz though. And your whole face pretty much hurts. You should probably have walked into the screen, but you wanted to escape that awkward situation as quickly as possible. Mission accomplished. Except not so much. Man your head hurts. Ugh.

>Look at you. You’re filthy. Go home and wash off your dirty, dirty face.

Yeah. Sounds good. Whoever came up with that one probably was incredibly sexy and smart and would never hurl themselves head first into a wall. Probably. Almost certainly. You wave off the others’ offers of help and pick yourself up, weaving and wobbling your way out of the theater, leaning on your Increasingly Shopping Cart. You get a few glances on the street, seeing as you’re bright green, bruised, and slightly punch-drunk. You manage to navigate your way back home, though.

You walk directly to the bathroom and start running a cold tap. After a few seconds you shove your whole face under there.

ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch

Pulling back, you check yourself in the mirror. Well, without so much green dust all over your face, you look… fine, considering. You don’t think anything’s broken, anyway.

You carefully clean off all of the green that you can. Unfortunately, it seems to be clinging to your hair and T-Shirt rather tenaciously. Hmm. Well, you can change the shirt (which you do) but you’ve grown attached to your hair, and vice-versa. Oh well. Your hair is now Grass Green. Bobbin Threadbare would be disgusted.
The cold water has cleared your mind somewhat, but you're still achy and throbby in your face region.

After you've cleaned yourself up some, you head back into the main room of your house, where you notice something rather distressing. Boxborg is gone!!!
A robot made entirely of cardboard boxes doesn’t just get up and walk away. Or… maybe it does. You’re not sure which possibility troubles you more… that someone stole Boxborg, or that Boxborg was playing inanimate until you left so that it could pursue its own inscrutable goals. Troubling, either way. Hmm... what now?

Stats:

SpoilerShow

GreyGabe
Level 5 Forumite
XP: 28/500
HP: 36/50 (Covered With Boo-Boos)
MP: 20/20 (Mystically Delicious)
SP: 18/20 (Pretty Much Sane)
CP: 18/100 (Ambulatory)
Strongliness: Average
Stalwartness: Passable (1)
Swiftness: Decent
Wisdomosity: Average (1)
Charm: Poor (1)
Luck: Average (1)

Internets: 12
Cookies: 5

Status Effects:
Grass Green Hair: Increases affinity with plants.

Oh, hey. It looks like ramming your face into the wall made you a little more Stalwart. No, you won't do it again to farm Stalwart points. That would be painful, and you're not nearly Stalwart enough to brave that kind of pain for such a meager point reward.