RE: Twenty Quest
04-20-2013, 04:44 AM
You're sick of this. You aren't going to just sit here and hope that things somehow work out; you're going to take action.
Your ghost magic may not work on this stupid pink guy, but that's not the only magic you have: you also have pink magic, what with being pink and all. You don't especially like using it, because seriously, who uses pink magic? But it should help you take care of this idiot.
A quick chanting of Pink Banishment causes the pink idiot to dematerialize and be sent away to the afterlife. Unfortunately, that spell won't work for your own purposes; you want to stay out of the afterlife, thank you very much.
Unfortunately, after you destroy the idiot, you suddenly remember that your octopus head was also pink, and you banished it to the afterlife along with the idiot. Ugh. Now it might not come back even if you die again, great.
Granted, you do know a way to the afterlife; there's a portal between the realms in that lunchbox your parents tried to give you. You don't really know how it got there, but regardless, you could use it to head into the afterlife, get your octopus head back, and terrorize the populace once more.
Too bad you tossed the lunchbox to some guy beyond the fourth wall. Ugh. The only one who might be able to help you get the thing back is your ex, and he's going to revel in that so damn much. So damn much.
You pause a moment to consider. Are you really so desperate to get back at your ex that you'd pass up the chance to regain your octopus head, and with it your powers?
You conclude that yes, yes you are. Sure, you may still have feelings for Samson, but you're not going to let him know that until he comes crawling back to you on his hands and knees.
But how are you going to... oh, goddammit, your horse is crying. Must still be lovestruck by that pink idiot. This won't do at all. You give it a swift metaphysical kick, knocking the lovestruck stupor right out of it.
As it turns out, you kick it right as Samson decides to inhabit its mind again. The end result is that you kick the lovestruck stupor into Samson.
Moments later, a tiny strand of wool flies towards you. Oh hey, it's one of Samson's detection yarns. Not long after you grab it with your ghostly hand, you see him flying overhead on a wool carpet. He swoops down and bursts into tears.
"I'm so sorry, Lady Octopushead!" he sobs. Wow, he didn't even call you Pinkie, he must really be feeling it. "I was wrong! Please, take me back! What must I do?"
You smirk, a fact that he notices because the detection yarn makes you visible and audible to him, not that either of you realized you weren't in the first place.
You promptly tell Samson that you'll take him back if he can retrieve your lunchbox from beyond the fourth wall. He nods, and pulls out a strand of wool yarn. It vanishes into nothingness, then returns with the lunchbox. You laugh wickedly as you go through the portal into the afterlife, get your octopus head, and put it back on.
Then you and Samson conquer the kingdom with your combined powers and begin a glorious and romantic reign of terror.
Meanwhile, your horse flies off to its home galaxy. Apparently your seals on it were released when you went to the afterlife. Oh, whatever, not like you need to worry about it any more.
END OF STORY ONE