Bi Barrister

You are ISHTAR INJUNCTION, a fledgling lawyer. You stand in court to defend your client BARRY HATCHETT of charge of the recent foul play murder death of CASSANDRA ROLLE. Many of your peers have taken to calling you the BI BARRISTER, to which you ask them politely to quit talking about your sexual orientation so prominently. Nonetheless, today is your first day leading a defense! Another lawyer at your firm was meant to be heading this case, but he died (unrelated incident), so you've been shunted in at the last minute.

You are armed with an ABSOLUTE PLETHORA OF EVIDENCE in your MANIFEST OF JUSTICE, none of which seems to even vaguely disculpate your client, and none of which have gone through conventional legal channels. You think you may have stuffed the wrapper for your breakfast burrito in there.



The state has sent CELLA deRECOLTE to prosecute. deRecolte has been prosecuting since the age of 14, and has never lost a case. You feel the heat of her eyes burning into your forehead, boring through the corpus into your very soul.

The JUDGE asks deRecolte to give her opening statement.

"A life has been taken. For those still mourning the loss of Cassandra Rolle, stop. She cannot hear your wishes, your pleading, until the pitiful being who put her in this way is held responsible and dealt with by the above. That being is none other than Barry Hatchett. Numerous witnesses and a stream of evidence can attest. Let's end this rite at once and let Rolle be at rest."

She's keeping her cards close to her chest! All eyes turn to you. You gulp. What's your opening statement?