RE: Timu's Doctor Who and Torchwood Reviews (spoilers!)
04-21-2022, 03:29 AM
(This post was last modified: 04-21-2022, 10:34 AM by Crowstone.)
dr13 s4 ep2
Easter Special
Easter Special
Show Content
SpoilerTimu — Today at 10:19 PM
hewwo
today in doctor who it's 1807 in a little fishing village in china
it's a dark and stormy afternoon and this famous pirate lady has come to hit a statue with a rock
"oh no! i must stop her!" says the wise guardian father, "son, if i die, the duty that has been passed through generations of guarding that statue will be passed to you. okie off i go to stop that lady from hitting that statue-"
then the lady bonks the statue and unleashes the bad guy
wise guardian father: darn i should have left a little earlier, i am too late and also i am dead now
the bad guy kills everyone in the village except for the father's son (Ying Ki) and the lady pirate (Madam Ching)
the bad guy is a sea devil, a muppet-looking fellow
![[Image: unknown.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/180517328952360960/966524977002184704/unknown.png)
hmmm
yes
i shall name him Subscribe
as he is labeled by the picture
this episode seems a little strangely put together
for example there is the seen where the son is confronting the pirate over the death of his father
and then suddenly the doctor and her friends are there
they weren't shown running to the area from elsewhere
they are just there
and then suddenly in the next scene the pirate lady is already back on her boat, sailing off with the piece of the statue that she broke off so she can track down the ancient lost treasure
and the son is like 'i'm gonna swim alll the way to that boat and avenge by father'
and dan says 'well i guess i will come with you'
and they both swim all that way
damn
very impressive
meanwhile the doctor and yaz go into the tardis to go back in time. pirate lady is trying to find an ancient treasure that was lost when a ship disappeared in 1533, so they go to 1533 so they can find out where the ship is that way
they find out that the ship gets sunk by Subscribe
and so they go back to 1807 and the tardis gets eaten by Subscribe's pet kraken
the doctor and yaz are 'taken prisoner' by subscribe, which means that they are given a tour of Subscribe's evil lair and they aren't like, tied up or anything, or held under guard, or disarmed or anything
the 1533 boat captain (Ji-Hun) has been kept alive this whole time by Subscribe as punishment for defying the sea devils
there was a Chaos Topaz amongst that ancient treasure, and the sea devils wanted it to destroy the world
but Ji-Hun had his first mate take the chaos topaz and run away
and then the sea devils actually took Ji-Hun's ship and fitted it out with cool rocket boosters because why not
Subscribe chased First Mate to the fishing village, but First Mate used the chaos topaz to turn Subscribe into a statue, and then the next several generations duty was passed down to guard the statue and the chaos topaz
andrea — Today at 10:38 PM
chaos topaz?? like sonic????
Timu — Today at 10:38 PM
yeah!
no
every other fictional media has a rock with special powers so why not call it a chaos emerald
it's just an orange glowy pebble
in this case
it can turn things into statues and also destroy earth
that's all no big deal
since now the village father's son (Ying Ki) has the rock which is a family heirloom necklace, is on pirate boat with Dan (it's Dan) and Madam Ching (who is a famous historical figure pirate queen Zheng Yi Sao, also known as Zheng Shih or Madam Ching)
Subscribe goes and attacks them and successfully steals the Chaos Emerald
super easily
cause subscribe owns a teleporter
so he just teleports in and grabs the thingy and leaves
good job!
Subscribe put the chaos emerald into his science blender thing and so earth is gonna be destroyed!
fortunately, Doctor, Yaz and Ji-Hun, managed to escape off screen and they all have a fun pirate battle with regular swords vs science swords and swashbuckling and all that
and then the doctor goes to the earth destroying machine and unplugs it, but someone has to stay behind and sacrifice themself
so Ji-Hun says I'll do it, i'm from 1533 and it's 1807, everyone I know is dead so it's fine
and the doctor says thanks! you're a real hero!
and so they all leave and Ji-Hun and all the Sea Devils all get squished up as the earth-destroying machine collapses in on itself like a little tiny baby blackhole
Dan calls his not-girlfriend and she seems interested in maybe trying a relationship again
Ying Ki joins Madam Ching's pirate crew, and she also goes to rescue her children from the ocean police, (that's why she was looking for the treasure in the first place, to pay the ransom, her kids were hostages)
The Doctor tells Yaz that she sorta reciprocates Yaz's romantic feelings for her but it's like weird and complicated cause yaz is a human and the doctor is a doctor
and Subscribe's pet Kraken is like, still out there? or more like was just sucked into the miniblackhole thing? they never mentioned it again
so idk
Oh yeah, that was the Easter Special
very holiday fitting
the next episode is supposed to come out in 'fall 2022'
featuring every single character that has ever been in doctor who ever! every single one! everyone is here! everyone is back! every past companion! every past villain! every past character! the hundreds of random citizens that have been in the background in the thousands of scenes across the entire show? they're all back! They're here! Coming soon! the fourth of july special! this fall! Doctor Who Episode 300! Even I'm in it, me timu! Doctor Who Labour Day special, "The End of the Doctor" find out next time!
I signed an NDA (a no-dishonesty agreement) so you know I'm telling the truth!
i never lie!
Overall Rating:
Villain: Subscribe! This guy and his pirate crew of prehistoric fishpeople love to fly around over the sea, terrorizing sailors and fishermen! Armed with swords that replaces your blood with poison, and cool teleporter special effects that turn you into green mist, nothing can stand in the way of these dastardly sea devils in their quest to flood the entire planet with the power of the Chaos Emerald!!! Make sure to like, comment and share this apocalypse with all your friends, and melt the polar ice caps on that subscribe button! Ring that bell to get notifications on your phone and thank you to BBC for sponsoring this episode of Doctor Who.
Deaths: i dunno like ten villagers, that guy's dad, there was some random fisherman who got eaten by the kraken, maybe one or two guys from the 1645 boat didn't manage to escape, maybe like 20 sea devils, Ji-Hun sucked into the miniblackhole, along with the kraken probably. let's go with 35.
Births: Madam Ching has two sons, a 6year old and a 3 year old son. and how many generations between 1533 and 1807 was Ying Ki's family? at least two. so lets go with 4.
Overall Death Rate: 31 people. 274 years between 1533 and 1807. 31/274 means the death rate is 0.11313868613 deaths per year. finally, a real actual death rate.
Moral of the Story: when you take some people prisoner, don't give them a tour of your evil home base. make sure you disarm them and keep them under guard and stuff so they don't mess with your controls have an opportunity to escape, kill your men and mess with your plans. meh
Overall Rating:
Egg/10
egg out of 10 for easter
it was an average episode
Pharmacy — Today at 11:24 PM
Decent meal episode
****** — Today at 12:48 AM
congrats on ur big break into the bbc timu! looking forward to the next doc whomst posting from inside the episode
Timu — Today at 1:17 AM
thanjku
hewwo
today in doctor who it's 1807 in a little fishing village in china
it's a dark and stormy afternoon and this famous pirate lady has come to hit a statue with a rock
"oh no! i must stop her!" says the wise guardian father, "son, if i die, the duty that has been passed through generations of guarding that statue will be passed to you. okie off i go to stop that lady from hitting that statue-"
then the lady bonks the statue and unleashes the bad guy
wise guardian father: darn i should have left a little earlier, i am too late and also i am dead now
the bad guy kills everyone in the village except for the father's son (Ying Ki) and the lady pirate (Madam Ching)
the bad guy is a sea devil, a muppet-looking fellow
hmmm
yes
i shall name him Subscribe
as he is labeled by the picture
this episode seems a little strangely put together
for example there is the seen where the son is confronting the pirate over the death of his father
and then suddenly the doctor and her friends are there
they weren't shown running to the area from elsewhere
they are just there
and then suddenly in the next scene the pirate lady is already back on her boat, sailing off with the piece of the statue that she broke off so she can track down the ancient lost treasure
and the son is like 'i'm gonna swim alll the way to that boat and avenge by father'
and dan says 'well i guess i will come with you'
and they both swim all that way
damn
very impressive
meanwhile the doctor and yaz go into the tardis to go back in time. pirate lady is trying to find an ancient treasure that was lost when a ship disappeared in 1533, so they go to 1533 so they can find out where the ship is that way
they find out that the ship gets sunk by Subscribe
and so they go back to 1807 and the tardis gets eaten by Subscribe's pet kraken
the doctor and yaz are 'taken prisoner' by subscribe, which means that they are given a tour of Subscribe's evil lair and they aren't like, tied up or anything, or held under guard, or disarmed or anything
the 1533 boat captain (Ji-Hun) has been kept alive this whole time by Subscribe as punishment for defying the sea devils
there was a Chaos Topaz amongst that ancient treasure, and the sea devils wanted it to destroy the world
but Ji-Hun had his first mate take the chaos topaz and run away
and then the sea devils actually took Ji-Hun's ship and fitted it out with cool rocket boosters because why not
Subscribe chased First Mate to the fishing village, but First Mate used the chaos topaz to turn Subscribe into a statue, and then the next several generations duty was passed down to guard the statue and the chaos topaz
andrea — Today at 10:38 PM
chaos topaz?? like sonic????
Timu — Today at 10:38 PM
yeah!
no
every other fictional media has a rock with special powers so why not call it a chaos emerald
it's just an orange glowy pebble
in this case
it can turn things into statues and also destroy earth
that's all no big deal
since now the village father's son (Ying Ki) has the rock which is a family heirloom necklace, is on pirate boat with Dan (it's Dan) and Madam Ching (who is a famous historical figure pirate queen Zheng Yi Sao, also known as Zheng Shih or Madam Ching)
Subscribe goes and attacks them and successfully steals the Chaos Emerald
super easily
cause subscribe owns a teleporter
so he just teleports in and grabs the thingy and leaves
good job!
Subscribe put the chaos emerald into his science blender thing and so earth is gonna be destroyed!
fortunately, Doctor, Yaz and Ji-Hun, managed to escape off screen and they all have a fun pirate battle with regular swords vs science swords and swashbuckling and all that
and then the doctor goes to the earth destroying machine and unplugs it, but someone has to stay behind and sacrifice themself
so Ji-Hun says I'll do it, i'm from 1533 and it's 1807, everyone I know is dead so it's fine
and the doctor says thanks! you're a real hero!
and so they all leave and Ji-Hun and all the Sea Devils all get squished up as the earth-destroying machine collapses in on itself like a little tiny baby blackhole
Dan calls his not-girlfriend and she seems interested in maybe trying a relationship again
Ying Ki joins Madam Ching's pirate crew, and she also goes to rescue her children from the ocean police, (that's why she was looking for the treasure in the first place, to pay the ransom, her kids were hostages)
The Doctor tells Yaz that she sorta reciprocates Yaz's romantic feelings for her but it's like weird and complicated cause yaz is a human and the doctor is a doctor
and Subscribe's pet Kraken is like, still out there? or more like was just sucked into the miniblackhole thing? they never mentioned it again
so idk
Oh yeah, that was the Easter Special
very holiday fitting
the next episode is supposed to come out in 'fall 2022'
featuring every single character that has ever been in doctor who ever! every single one! everyone is here! everyone is back! every past companion! every past villain! every past character! the hundreds of random citizens that have been in the background in the thousands of scenes across the entire show? they're all back! They're here! Coming soon! the fourth of july special! this fall! Doctor Who Episode 300! Even I'm in it, me timu! Doctor Who Labour Day special, "The End of the Doctor" find out next time!
I signed an NDA (a no-dishonesty agreement) so you know I'm telling the truth!
i never lie!
Overall Rating:
Villain: Subscribe! This guy and his pirate crew of prehistoric fishpeople love to fly around over the sea, terrorizing sailors and fishermen! Armed with swords that replaces your blood with poison, and cool teleporter special effects that turn you into green mist, nothing can stand in the way of these dastardly sea devils in their quest to flood the entire planet with the power of the Chaos Emerald!!! Make sure to like, comment and share this apocalypse with all your friends, and melt the polar ice caps on that subscribe button! Ring that bell to get notifications on your phone and thank you to BBC for sponsoring this episode of Doctor Who.
Deaths: i dunno like ten villagers, that guy's dad, there was some random fisherman who got eaten by the kraken, maybe one or two guys from the 1645 boat didn't manage to escape, maybe like 20 sea devils, Ji-Hun sucked into the miniblackhole, along with the kraken probably. let's go with 35.
Births: Madam Ching has two sons, a 6year old and a 3 year old son. and how many generations between 1533 and 1807 was Ying Ki's family? at least two. so lets go with 4.
Overall Death Rate: 31 people. 274 years between 1533 and 1807. 31/274 means the death rate is 0.11313868613 deaths per year. finally, a real actual death rate.
Moral of the Story: when you take some people prisoner, don't give them a tour of your evil home base. make sure you disarm them and keep them under guard and stuff so they don't mess with your controls have an opportunity to escape, kill your men and mess with your plans. meh
Overall Rating:
Egg/10
egg out of 10 for easter
it was an average episode
Pharmacy — Today at 11:24 PM
Decent meal episode
****** — Today at 12:48 AM
congrats on ur big break into the bbc timu! looking forward to the next doc whomst posting from inside the episode
Timu — Today at 1:17 AM
thanjku
![[Image: egg005.png?raw=1]](https://www.dropbox.com/s/cm0pzbv31rhi5da/egg005.png?raw=1){kind=small}