RE: Timu's Doctor Who and Torchwood Reviews (spoilers!)
06-28-2020, 09:58 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-28-2020, 09:59 PM by Crowstone.)
Spoilers for Halo and Doctor Who!!
cw:
Doctor Who: 10th doctor, season 3, halloween special 2009
The Waters of Mars
cw:
SpoilerShow
suicide, death
Doctor Who: 10th doctor, season 3, halloween special 2009
The Waters of Mars
SpoilerShow
It's.......... The Waters of Mars! One of the last episodes of the 10th Doctor era, set during 2009 which was just this one year of like only 4 holiday specials
So there's some series-long plot arc whatever about not messing with time or do messing with time but whatever
lets focus on the cool shit
It's the space base on mars! according to history, this base gets blown up for unknown reasons and everyone dies! The doctor shows up and is like , oh gee this base is gonna get blown up for unknown reasons and all of you are going to die
and then a water filter breaks, unleashing an ancient, super intelligent virus that lives inside the glaciers of mars!!!
It's the Flood! the classic surprise villain from Halo has returned in a more literal sense to be about like, the water kind of flood instead of that other thing
everyone who gets touched by the water "just one drop" turns into a water zombie, beings capable of fire-hose blasting water out of their hands and mouth
and this fire-hose blast of water can infect anyone else it hits, and is powerful enough to like, break stuff, like space doors, but only when the plot decides the space door is weak enough.
There's also a point made about how smart this virus is... while it can overtake a body in seconds, it can also choose to wait!
an infected person can unknowingly carry the virus, and the virus will commence zombification only when it's strategically viable!
This brilliant mastermind of a swarm of microscopic entities that can communicate with itself by screaming and has such good plans uses this ability to...infect two people. One will be a water zombie so everyone knows what the virus is capable of. The second will get suspected to be carrying the virus, so they will get quarantined. Once quarantined, the carrier will say some creepy stuff like 'we will escape mars and go to earth and consume all life or something'.
Except they're contained at that point so... why?
Now everyone just knows your plan and can say 'Well we better not let anyone take this horribly contagious supervirus to earth then'
the virus should have just like, not turned anyone into zombies at all. and just infected everyone. and then once everyone is infected, then they can zombify up without any resistance and then take the space ship to earth and cause a damp zombie apocalypse
like one more week and it would have spread to the entire water supply
Doctor: "you can't beat water. water is patient. water erodes mountains. and other metaphor stuff about water being patient. water always wins"
the water: well it's been about three minutes i think it's about time to spring out of hiding when it's easiest for the crewmembers to avoid me
anyway the zombo goes and infects the spaceship pilot and the spaceship pilot is like 'oopsie woospie i'm infected, lemme just hit that self destruct, say something dramatic about how i hate my job.... and now that i've ALMOST lost control of my body i'll hit the big confirm button at the very last possible moment!' kacboom!
anyway the doctor listens to all the crewmembers tragically die one by one saying stuff like 'i've always loved you' and 'i miss my children' over the radio
Doctor gets all sad and says:
"you know what
screw this Fixed Moment in Time bs
i have an invincible all power tardis
i parked it like a mile away but lemme just hack this segway so that it drives over with its ROCKET BOOSTERS and reaches the tardis and tells it to come save everyone in just the nick of time
and he's going all mad with power and saying all twenty of his catchphrases with a maniacal grin while all three survivors are like 'what the fucccckkkk
and the segway's remote controls are shaking like CRAZY
Mars Base Captain: 'so you saved us and messed with time.'
Doctor: 'yeah i can do what i want'
Universe: 'you know you guys keep talking about not messing with fixed moments in time or else i'll explode'
Doctor :' i don't fucking give a shit'
Captain: 'i do, i'm kill myself"
Doctor: ' okkay i guess i kinda went a bit too far'
Then some rando alien shows up and stares at the doctor!
Rando Alien: "Have you learned your lesson"
Doctor: ' No i did not learn my lesson'
And then the rando alien disappears and the episode ends! That's some season-long plot arc stuff so whatever!
Overall rating:
Deaths: like a bazillion viruses got nuked, six humans got turned into water zombies, and the captain died
Births: history was altered so a total of two humans survived instead of no humans
Net Death/Birth Results: One Flood and 5 humans dead
Moral of the Story: If your goal is to SNEAK your way to earth, then don't tell everyone what your plan is. also don't mess with time idk
Villain: The Flood, a supersmart zombie virus hivemind with the power of water hose arms
Cheesiest moment: when two water zombies were on all fours on the roof puking water out of their mouths like the worlds silliest Squirtles.
Other Cheestiest Moment: how the segway has rocketboosters on it that do nothing unless someone hacks them, and also they make whoever is holding their remote controls go 'wuwuauawuwahuawuhwuahh rocket boosters shaky shaky shaky!!!!!!"
Overall Rating: H2O/10
So there's some series-long plot arc whatever about not messing with time or do messing with time but whatever
lets focus on the cool shit
It's the space base on mars! according to history, this base gets blown up for unknown reasons and everyone dies! The doctor shows up and is like , oh gee this base is gonna get blown up for unknown reasons and all of you are going to die
and then a water filter breaks, unleashing an ancient, super intelligent virus that lives inside the glaciers of mars!!!
It's the Flood! the classic surprise villain from Halo has returned in a more literal sense to be about like, the water kind of flood instead of that other thing
everyone who gets touched by the water "just one drop" turns into a water zombie, beings capable of fire-hose blasting water out of their hands and mouth
and this fire-hose blast of water can infect anyone else it hits, and is powerful enough to like, break stuff, like space doors, but only when the plot decides the space door is weak enough.
There's also a point made about how smart this virus is... while it can overtake a body in seconds, it can also choose to wait!
an infected person can unknowingly carry the virus, and the virus will commence zombification only when it's strategically viable!
This brilliant mastermind of a swarm of microscopic entities that can communicate with itself by screaming and has such good plans uses this ability to...infect two people. One will be a water zombie so everyone knows what the virus is capable of. The second will get suspected to be carrying the virus, so they will get quarantined. Once quarantined, the carrier will say some creepy stuff like 'we will escape mars and go to earth and consume all life or something'.
Except they're contained at that point so... why?
Now everyone just knows your plan and can say 'Well we better not let anyone take this horribly contagious supervirus to earth then'
the virus should have just like, not turned anyone into zombies at all. and just infected everyone. and then once everyone is infected, then they can zombify up without any resistance and then take the space ship to earth and cause a damp zombie apocalypse
like one more week and it would have spread to the entire water supply
Doctor: "you can't beat water. water is patient. water erodes mountains. and other metaphor stuff about water being patient. water always wins"
the water: well it's been about three minutes i think it's about time to spring out of hiding when it's easiest for the crewmembers to avoid me
anyway the zombo goes and infects the spaceship pilot and the spaceship pilot is like 'oopsie woospie i'm infected, lemme just hit that self destruct, say something dramatic about how i hate my job.... and now that i've ALMOST lost control of my body i'll hit the big confirm button at the very last possible moment!' kacboom!
anyway the doctor listens to all the crewmembers tragically die one by one saying stuff like 'i've always loved you' and 'i miss my children' over the radio
Doctor gets all sad and says:
"you know what
screw this Fixed Moment in Time bs
i have an invincible all power tardis
i parked it like a mile away but lemme just hack this segway so that it drives over with its ROCKET BOOSTERS and reaches the tardis and tells it to come save everyone in just the nick of time
and he's going all mad with power and saying all twenty of his catchphrases with a maniacal grin while all three survivors are like 'what the fucccckkkk
and the segway's remote controls are shaking like CRAZY
Mars Base Captain: 'so you saved us and messed with time.'
Doctor: 'yeah i can do what i want'
Universe: 'you know you guys keep talking about not messing with fixed moments in time or else i'll explode'
Doctor :' i don't fucking give a shit'
Captain: 'i do, i'm kill myself"
Doctor: ' okkay i guess i kinda went a bit too far'
Then some rando alien shows up and stares at the doctor!
Rando Alien: "Have you learned your lesson"
Doctor: ' No i did not learn my lesson'
And then the rando alien disappears and the episode ends! That's some season-long plot arc stuff so whatever!
Overall rating:
Deaths: like a bazillion viruses got nuked, six humans got turned into water zombies, and the captain died
Births: history was altered so a total of two humans survived instead of no humans
Net Death/Birth Results: One Flood and 5 humans dead
Moral of the Story: If your goal is to SNEAK your way to earth, then don't tell everyone what your plan is. also don't mess with time idk
Villain: The Flood, a supersmart zombie virus hivemind with the power of water hose arms
Cheesiest moment: when two water zombies were on all fours on the roof puking water out of their mouths like the worlds silliest Squirtles.
Other Cheestiest Moment: how the segway has rocketboosters on it that do nothing unless someone hacks them, and also they make whoever is holding their remote controls go 'wuwuauawuwahuawuhwuahh rocket boosters shaky shaky shaky!!!!!!"
Overall Rating: H2O/10
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