RE: Timu's Doctor Who and Torchwood Reviews (spoilers!)
04-10-2020, 12:58 AM
Torchwood s2 e12
torchwood s2 e13 (season finale)
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SpoilerTada! it's a trip down memory lane. Here's some flashbacks on how all the team members joined Torchwood!
The torchwood team are tricked into going into a building full of bombs! They all survive and as each one is pulled from the rubble their respective backstories are shown.
1800s Torchwood discovers Boss's immortality and recruits him!
Asshole's girlfriend gets killed by an alien parasite! Boss recruits Asshole!
Mafia forced Nerd to build a high-tech weapon, holding her mom as hostage! Boss rescues Nerd!
Secretary helps Boss tame the pterodactyl! Boss hires Secretary!
Artifact: Scary brain bug! This baby parasite can climb into people's brain and give them alzheimers! But be careful- if you try to surgically remove it, it will spoot out a deadly gas!
Kills: Asshole's old GF, the surgical team, and Scary Brain Bug. Oh and in Boss's flashback, a fish alien and the entire old Torchwood team dies.
Bosses Defeated: Boss is blown up by bomb, and in flashbacks, boss is stabbed, electrocuted and shot. Four total deaths!
Births: Baby brain bug!
Total Score: 41300
Moral of the Story: Make sure you give amnesia pills to all the witnesses, or you might have to hire an Asshole just to keep him from following you around everywhere
The torchwood team are tricked into going into a building full of bombs! They all survive and as each one is pulled from the rubble their respective backstories are shown.
1800s Torchwood discovers Boss's immortality and recruits him!
Asshole's girlfriend gets killed by an alien parasite! Boss recruits Asshole!
Mafia forced Nerd to build a high-tech weapon, holding her mom as hostage! Boss rescues Nerd!
Secretary helps Boss tame the pterodactyl! Boss hires Secretary!
Artifact: Scary brain bug! This baby parasite can climb into people's brain and give them alzheimers! But be careful- if you try to surgically remove it, it will spoot out a deadly gas!
Kills: Asshole's old GF, the surgical team, and Scary Brain Bug. Oh and in Boss's flashback, a fish alien and the entire old Torchwood team dies.
Bosses Defeated: Boss is blown up by bomb, and in flashbacks, boss is stabbed, electrocuted and shot. Four total deaths!
Births: Baby brain bug!
Total Score: 41300
Moral of the Story: Make sure you give amnesia pills to all the witnesses, or you might have to hire an Asshole just to keep him from following you around everywhere
torchwood s2 e13 (season finale)
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SpoilerKaboom!!! Who could have planted those bombs from the last episode??? It was Spike!
Spike: "I have also bombed the entire city and also unleashed all the bugmen from the sewers!!!!"
Boss: "why?"
Spike: "Because your brother taped a bomb to me so i have to obey!"
Brother: "Yes it is me! Your brother!"
Boss: "omg my brother!!! i'm sorry for accidentally losing you in the future to be attacked by aliens!"
Brother: "Yes well i survived and i want revenge!!!"
Brother buries Boss alive in 0th century, but Boss gets unburied after 1900 years, then hides in the Torchwood freezer for the remaining 100 years!
Boss: "aha! I'm here now! I beat you up!"
Brother: "oh no! i have been defeated!"
Spike: "I have come back to help! I have sent all the bugmen back to the sewers but sorry about all the bombs."
Nuclear Power Plant: "i was damaged by bombs!"
Asshole: "i will sacrifice myself to prevent the nuclear meltdown!"
Nerd: "I was shot by Brother and I'm dying, i love you Asshole"
Asshole: "i love you too Nerd, blehhh i'm dead"
Nerd: "blehhh i'm dead too"
Now there's only Boss, Secretary, Ethics and Boyfriend left in the main cast. The end! the show is over. There's two more seasons but I don't think I will be reviewing them.
Artifact: Torchwood! This fun club is where all the alien fighters hang out at! But be careful though, it's super duper easy to die at this job!
Kills: Like a million people get blown up, Asshole and Nerd die tragically
Bosses Defeated: Boss gets shot, stabbed, buried alive and frozen
Births: no
Total Score: a million
Moral of the Story: Nerd was dying from gunshot for like 20 minutes while everyone else was downstairs celebrating that Brother had been defeated. You should have come up and checked on her ASAP!
Spike: "I have also bombed the entire city and also unleashed all the bugmen from the sewers!!!!"
Boss: "why?"
Spike: "Because your brother taped a bomb to me so i have to obey!"
Brother: "Yes it is me! Your brother!"
Boss: "omg my brother!!! i'm sorry for accidentally losing you in the future to be attacked by aliens!"
Brother: "Yes well i survived and i want revenge!!!"
Brother buries Boss alive in 0th century, but Boss gets unburied after 1900 years, then hides in the Torchwood freezer for the remaining 100 years!
Boss: "aha! I'm here now! I beat you up!"
Brother: "oh no! i have been defeated!"
Spike: "I have come back to help! I have sent all the bugmen back to the sewers but sorry about all the bombs."
Nuclear Power Plant: "i was damaged by bombs!"
Asshole: "i will sacrifice myself to prevent the nuclear meltdown!"
Nerd: "I was shot by Brother and I'm dying, i love you Asshole"
Asshole: "i love you too Nerd, blehhh i'm dead"
Nerd: "blehhh i'm dead too"
Now there's only Boss, Secretary, Ethics and Boyfriend left in the main cast. The end! the show is over. There's two more seasons but I don't think I will be reviewing them.
Artifact: Torchwood! This fun club is where all the alien fighters hang out at! But be careful though, it's super duper easy to die at this job!
Kills: Like a million people get blown up, Asshole and Nerd die tragically
Bosses Defeated: Boss gets shot, stabbed, buried alive and frozen
Births: no
Total Score: a million
Moral of the Story: Nerd was dying from gunshot for like 20 minutes while everyone else was downstairs celebrating that Brother had been defeated. You should have come up and checked on her ASAP!
![[Image: egg005.png?raw=1]](https://www.dropbox.com/s/cm0pzbv31rhi5da/egg005.png?raw=1){kind=small}