RE: Timu's Doctor Who and Torchwood Reviews (spoilers!)
04-09-2020, 04:57 AM
torchwood s2 e9
torchwood s2 e10
torchwood s2 e11
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SpoilerShow
Mazel Tov! Ethics and Boyfriend are finally getting married! Too bad an Alien Vampire Daddy has stuck its eggs into Ethics. Now Ethics is super pregnant! Now the wedding is going to be super awkward.
But Ethics REALLY wants to have the wedding right now. Removing the alien vampire baby will have to wait.
Uh-oh! Alien Vampire Mommy attacks the ceremony!!! She kills the Best Man! Fortunately, Boyfriend uses the Unpregnator from 3 episodes ago to remove the Alien Baby from Ethics! Then he fights off Vampire Mommy until Boss can arrive and shoot Vampire Mommy with a big gun!
Hooray. The bad guys are dead. They finish the ceremony and throw a party even though everyone should be traumatized and also the Best Man died, remember? But everyone has fun anyway and when the party is over Boss gives amnesia pills to all the guests.
Artifact: Big Gun! This is a cool gun that blows up aliens who are immune to regular bullets! But be careful! Because it's a gun. Guns are dangerous. Do I really have to say this?
Kills: Best Man, Vampire Dad, Vampire Mom and Vampire Baby.
Bosses Defeated: 0
Births: almost! But Vampire Baby gets Unpregnated.
Total Score:
Moral of the Story: You didn't know anything about this alien baby, but you brought it to a wedding anyway? What if it suddenly burst out of you during the ceremony?
A guy died and it could have been completely avoided if you had just postponed the wedding!
But Ethics REALLY wants to have the wedding right now. Removing the alien vampire baby will have to wait.
Uh-oh! Alien Vampire Mommy attacks the ceremony!!! She kills the Best Man! Fortunately, Boyfriend uses the Unpregnator from 3 episodes ago to remove the Alien Baby from Ethics! Then he fights off Vampire Mommy until Boss can arrive and shoot Vampire Mommy with a big gun!
Hooray. The bad guys are dead. They finish the ceremony and throw a party even though everyone should be traumatized and also the Best Man died, remember? But everyone has fun anyway and when the party is over Boss gives amnesia pills to all the guests.
Artifact: Big Gun! This is a cool gun that blows up aliens who are immune to regular bullets! But be careful! Because it's a gun. Guns are dangerous. Do I really have to say this?
Kills: Best Man, Vampire Dad, Vampire Mom and Vampire Baby.
Bosses Defeated: 0
Births: almost! But Vampire Baby gets Unpregnated.
Total Score:
Moral of the Story: You didn't know anything about this alien baby, but you brought it to a wedding anyway? What if it suddenly burst out of you during the ceremony?
A guy died and it could have been completely avoided if you had just postponed the wedding!
torchwood s2 e10
SpoilerShow
Honk honk! The circus is in town! This mysterious carnival appears only at night when it is raining. But watch out- if you don't escape, you'll end up trapped in it forever!
But no one goes to circuses anymore. People just stay home and watch youtube instead. But some kid finds an old VHS recording of the spooky haunted carnival! The film is cursed! He plays it and the circus performers step out of the screen and start killing people!!!
Oh no! They are very creepy!!!! Fortunately, if you take a picture of them on your cell phone, and then delete that photo, they will die in real life. Not sure how that works but okay.
Artifact: Ghost Bottle! Creepy Ringmaster can stick people's souls in this bottle! Just bring the souls back to the body to restore them to life. Just make sure you don't drop the bottle. Any souls that spill out will be lost forever!
Kills: Ringmaster managed to pour 5 out 6 of the souls out of the ghost bottle before Boss could delete the photo of him. Also the entire circus gets erased.
Bosses Defeated: 0
Births: they manage to stick 1 soul back into its body!
Total Score: 1100
Moral of the Story: Yeah they had every type of circus performer EXCEPT a clown! That's right! You don't need to be a clown to be creepy!!!!!
But no one goes to circuses anymore. People just stay home and watch youtube instead. But some kid finds an old VHS recording of the spooky haunted carnival! The film is cursed! He plays it and the circus performers step out of the screen and start killing people!!!
Oh no! They are very creepy!!!! Fortunately, if you take a picture of them on your cell phone, and then delete that photo, they will die in real life. Not sure how that works but okay.
Artifact: Ghost Bottle! Creepy Ringmaster can stick people's souls in this bottle! Just bring the souls back to the body to restore them to life. Just make sure you don't drop the bottle. Any souls that spill out will be lost forever!
Kills: Ringmaster managed to pour 5 out 6 of the souls out of the ghost bottle before Boss could delete the photo of him. Also the entire circus gets erased.
Bosses Defeated: 0
Births: they manage to stick 1 soul back into its body!
Total Score: 1100
Moral of the Story: Yeah they had every type of circus performer EXCEPT a clown! That's right! You don't need to be a clown to be creepy!!!!!
torchwood s2 e11
SpoilerShow
SLURP! A GUY HAS DISAPPEARED! Gone! Looks like the rift not only dumps aliens into Cardiff, it also sucks people out of Cardiff! Surely Torchwood can do something about this?
Boss says!! NO !!!! NOTHIGN CAN BE DONE ABOUT THIS!!!
Ethics: "But people are disappearing! There's like 50 other missing people!!!!"
Boss: "No! Don't look into this matter any further!"
Ethics investigates further anyway. Turns out, there's a secret island with the missing people on it. It's a secret hospital!
Boss is there and he says "Ethics! I can explain!"
Ethics: "No! You covered this up and I don't want to know why! I'm gonna barge in without thinking!"
Hospital Patient: "uu uuuu I was sucked into the time rift and spat out. I'm 40 years older and disfigured and also insane now"
Boss: "yeah so that's why I have to hide all these guys in a secret hospital. Because of time injuries and stuff."
Ethics: "oh okay. Can their families visit at least?"
Boss: "mmmm okay sure, if the patients are okay enough."
Artifact: Regular GPS. It's just a regular GPS. Global Positioning System. Tells you the locations of stuff. Secretary gave Ethics a GPS to tell her where the secret hospital was. But be careful? Ethics doesn't know how to use a GPS? What?
Kills: Of all the missing people, only 17 survived their time rift travels. So.... i guess 33 deaths then?
Bosses Defeated: no
Births: no
Score: 3300
Moral of the Story: Why was the hospital kept a secret from Ethics? There were no negative consequences of Ethics finding out about it, other than her being mad that it was kept a secret. Stop keeping so many secrets, it's pissing everyone off!
Boss says!! NO !!!! NOTHIGN CAN BE DONE ABOUT THIS!!!
Ethics: "But people are disappearing! There's like 50 other missing people!!!!"
Boss: "No! Don't look into this matter any further!"
Ethics investigates further anyway. Turns out, there's a secret island with the missing people on it. It's a secret hospital!
Boss is there and he says "Ethics! I can explain!"
Ethics: "No! You covered this up and I don't want to know why! I'm gonna barge in without thinking!"
Hospital Patient: "uu uuuu I was sucked into the time rift and spat out. I'm 40 years older and disfigured and also insane now"
Boss: "yeah so that's why I have to hide all these guys in a secret hospital. Because of time injuries and stuff."
Ethics: "oh okay. Can their families visit at least?"
Boss: "mmmm okay sure, if the patients are okay enough."
Artifact: Regular GPS. It's just a regular GPS. Global Positioning System. Tells you the locations of stuff. Secretary gave Ethics a GPS to tell her where the secret hospital was. But be careful? Ethics doesn't know how to use a GPS? What?
Kills: Of all the missing people, only 17 survived their time rift travels. So.... i guess 33 deaths then?
Bosses Defeated: no
Births: no
Score: 3300
Moral of the Story: Why was the hospital kept a secret from Ethics? There were no negative consequences of Ethics finding out about it, other than her being mad that it was kept a secret. Stop keeping so many secrets, it's pissing everyone off!
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