Timu's Doctor Who and Torchwood Reviews (spoilers!)

What's this? Reviewing Doctor Who episodes?
After Torchwood Season 1, Boss Captain Jack comes and joins the three-part Doctor Who Season 3 Finale! It's the 10th doctor's second season, which also introduces Martha Jones. Marth also appears in Torchwood Season 2, which occurs right after these next episodes. Let's go!

10th Doctor, s2, e11

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The invincible, all powerful Tardis needs a fuel up every now and then, and parks itself on top of the Cardiff Space-Time Rift. Captain Jack runs out and hops onto the Tardis. Weeooo weooo wooo!!! alert! Immortals are a crime against time-rules!!

The invincible all powerful Tardis can't handle this, so it flies to the end of the universe, where the last remnants of humanity are hiding inside crappy industrial base. They're going to climb into a big rocket and fly to Utopia to escape the end of the universe.

Old Professor can't get the rocket to work though- but The Doctor can! Everyone piles into the rocket and it takes off. Bye humanity! See you in Utopia!

Team Tardis and Old Professor and Professor Assistant are going to take the Tardis to Utopia, but first, they gotta push some buttons in the Death Basement first.
Anyone who goes into the Death Basement will catch fire and die, luckily Captain Jack is immortal! While he's in there pushing the buttons, Jack and Doctor chat about what's been going on, making sure to drop in a bunch of keywords about Time Lords and Time Travel and stuff.

Old Professor is listening in and all these time lord words are triggering weird memories. Martha notices that he has a Magic Watch!!!! That's a thing that disguises a Time Lord as a Human, even changing their memories so that they think they are human! Old Professor must have survived the Time War by turning into a human!

He opens the Magic Watch and turns back into.... The Master!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of The Doctor's greatest enemies, an evil Time Lord!!! Master opens up the gates to let the werewolves into the base. Then he gets into the Tardis and ditches everyone else in the future.

Kills: one guy dies to demonstrate Death Basement, one werewolf dies while sabotaging the base. Professor Assistant gets killed by Master also.
Bosses Defeated: Jack dies while riding the Tardis from the outside, and also dies like, a bunch of times in the Death Basement.
Births: Master's identity is back! Oh and he regenerates from Old Professor into Prime Minister.
Overall Rating: Werewolves/10

Moral of the Story: If there are a bunch of werewolves trying to get into your base, don't have a single button that's labeled "let the werewolves into base." What if someone presses it by accident, or if someone turns evil and presses it on purpose?

10th dr, s2, e12

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The Doctor uses the sonic screwdriver to follow Master back to present day! Master has already been there for 18 months though, posing as a politician, and using satellite signals to brainwash people into voting for him. Now he's the Prime Minister!!!


A fun moment when the Master kills all the other politicians and becomes Super Prime Minister.

Master sends the police to capture Doctor & friends, but they escape! Doctor invents invisibility necklaces, and they sneak into the Master's giant airship. Master has a bunch of alien friends, who are little metal balls that fly around and stab people. There's a whole bunch of these guys! six billion of these metal balls come down to earth and are told to kill one tenth of the humans.

Master uses his laser screwdriver to turn Doctor into an old man, and also tapes Captain Jack to a wall. Martha escapes though, and she's gotta figure out a way to save the day next episode!!!

Kills: 10 politicians, 1 private investigator who realized that the new Prime Minister is evil, and also the US President died in this episode.
Bosses Defeated: Master shoots Jack during the episode's climax
Births: 6 billion metal ball babies!
Overall Rating: 1/10 of the human population killed.

Moral of the Story: "Decimate" means to remove 1/10 of something. I hope you learned something today cause that's all I can think of for this episode.

10th dr s2 e13 (season finale)

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Martha has spent a year travelling around the devastated Earth, visiting people hiding in basements and stuff. She's been gathering parts for a gun that can kill Time Lords without them regenerating. She meets some Bloke, and also some Woman. She tells them her plan about the gun. They also find out the metal ball babies are actually the humans who took that big rocket to Utopia! Apparently Utopia was real, and it's just a metal ball factory. Master brought all these babies back in time, and turned the Tardis into a Paradox Machine, thus allowing ball babies to kill their own ancestors without erasing themselves from history!

Woman phones the Master, telling him about Martha's gun. Master comes and captures Martha and brings her to his big airship! There, the Doctor has been aged so much that he's turned into a house elf, and Captain Jack has been chained to a wall. They're all brought in to watch Master's Plan Phase 2 happen!

Over the past year, Master and his babies have been building missiles to launch at all the planets so he can conquer the whole universe! The rockets are about to launch! 10, 9, 8, 7, wait something is happening!!!

Martha reveals that the Time-Lord killing gun was made up! She just use that idea to trick the Master into capturing her. And while she was travelling the world, she was telling everyone she met that "during the countdown, think about The Doctor!"

Oh wow! The hypnotizing satellites have had their psychic polarities reversed! Since everyone is thinking about the Doctor, now the Doctor is turned young again, and The Doctor beats up Master. So really this plan would have worked whether or not Martha was captured and brought to the airship, but, whatever.

Captain Jack runs over to the Tardis and destroys the Paradox Machine, killing all of the metal ball babies and also reversing time by one year, undoing all the damage Master did to the Earth! Only the people who were on the airship at the time can remember what happened!

The Master's Prime Minister Wife, who was evil, but has decided not to be evil anymore, shoots Master using a regular gun! Master says "fuck it!" to regenerating and dies, making The Doctor the last remaining time lord.

Except the Master had planned this and stuck some magic juice into his ring so he can be brought back to life in season 4 but whatever.

Anyways, Captain Jack says his goodbyes to Martha and Doctor, making sure to go off on a weird tangent about how his childhood nickname was Face of Boe, so that the audience can be like "omg the face of boe character from that other episode was jack all along!"

Then Martha goes back to med school and Doctor is all alone again when the invincible all powerful tardis has its walls smashed into by The Titanic, leading into the Christmas special for that year.

Deaths: 6 billion metal babies, the Master
Bosses Defeated: Jack gets stabbed a bunch of times by metal babies while trying to get to the Paradox Machine.
Births: House elf doctor is created and then thankfully unbirths itself later by hacking into the mainframe
Overall Rating: 10/10... 9/10... 8/10... 7/10.... (this is the countdown that gives Doctor his strength back)

Moral of the Story: If you're going to stick a human body into a metal ball, make sure you leave the face intact so that when someone opens up the metal ball, they can see the human face in there and be like "oh my gosh, these metal ball babies are actually humans!"