RE: Timu's Doctor Who and Torchwood Reviews (spoilers!)
04-08-2020, 10:20 PM
torchwood s1 e12
torchwood s1 e13 (season finale)
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SpoilerWeird noises are coming from an abandoned dance hall. It sounds like 1940s music! Oh, it's because there's a time portal to 1941 in there, and Boss and Nerd wander in and get stuck!
Looks like the only way to bring them back is to open the Space Time Rift, but we need The Equation to do that! Too bad only Nerd has the equation, and she didn't write it down for some reason! Looks like she will have to write it on a piece of paper and hide it, so that the rest of the team can find it 65 years later.
Oh, and the Rift-Opening Machine is missing a piece!
It seems far-fetched that a piece of paper can remain hidden for 65 years, but luckily, Creepy Old Man is there to help! This guy is in both 1940s and also 2000s, and hasn't aged a bit! He's creepy and suspicious. He leads Ethics and Asshole into his office, where they can find the missing Rift-Opener part, and also Nerd's piece of paper. But he scratched out part of Nerd's Equation!!!
Asshole says "grr!!! emotions! I'm gonna open the rift anyway even though the equation is incomplete!"
Secretary says "No! If you do that, you'll be doing exactly what creepy old man wants you to do!"
Asshole: "I'm doing it anyway!!"
Boss: "Okay me and Nerd are back in present time, but Asshole- what have you done??"
So, Creepy Old Man can travel through time and space at will, but tricks Torchwood into opening the rift for him, even though he can just teleport in and do it himself. He even teleported in, stole a machine part, hid it in his office, and then basically gave it back to Asshole. Why????
Artifact: Rift-Opening Machine! This fun doohickey will open up the space time rift, bringing whatever you want into the present! But be careful, if you don't have the complete equation, you'll also bring in way too many aliens for you to properly deal with!
Kills: No
Bosses Defeated: No
Births: No
Total Score: 65
Moral of the Story: If a Creepy Alien wants you to open up a spacetime rift to cause chaos, maybe find a different way to bring your friends back from the past
Looks like the only way to bring them back is to open the Space Time Rift, but we need The Equation to do that! Too bad only Nerd has the equation, and she didn't write it down for some reason! Looks like she will have to write it on a piece of paper and hide it, so that the rest of the team can find it 65 years later.
Oh, and the Rift-Opening Machine is missing a piece!
It seems far-fetched that a piece of paper can remain hidden for 65 years, but luckily, Creepy Old Man is there to help! This guy is in both 1940s and also 2000s, and hasn't aged a bit! He's creepy and suspicious. He leads Ethics and Asshole into his office, where they can find the missing Rift-Opener part, and also Nerd's piece of paper. But he scratched out part of Nerd's Equation!!!
Asshole says "grr!!! emotions! I'm gonna open the rift anyway even though the equation is incomplete!"
Secretary says "No! If you do that, you'll be doing exactly what creepy old man wants you to do!"
Asshole: "I'm doing it anyway!!"
Boss: "Okay me and Nerd are back in present time, but Asshole- what have you done??"
So, Creepy Old Man can travel through time and space at will, but tricks Torchwood into opening the rift for him, even though he can just teleport in and do it himself. He even teleported in, stole a machine part, hid it in his office, and then basically gave it back to Asshole. Why????
Artifact: Rift-Opening Machine! This fun doohickey will open up the space time rift, bringing whatever you want into the present! But be careful, if you don't have the complete equation, you'll also bring in way too many aliens for you to properly deal with!
Kills: No
Bosses Defeated: No
Births: No
Total Score: 65
Moral of the Story: If a Creepy Alien wants you to open up a spacetime rift to cause chaos, maybe find a different way to bring your friends back from the past
torchwood s1 e13 (season finale)
Show Content
SpoilerYikes!!!! The rift was opened up last episode! Usually only one alien slips through the cracks per week. But since it was opened up, there's a whole bunch of aliens and they are causing chaos!
It seems the only way to undo this is to open up the Rift AGAIN! Somehow this will vacuum suck all the aliens back into it?
But Boss is not gonna let this happen because, it's obviously just gonna unleash more aliens. why would it do something different this time?
Secretary sees a vision of his CyberGF, urging him to open up the rift to bring her back from the dead!
Asshole sees Pilot Lady, urging him to open up the rift to bring her back from the dead!
Ethics sees her boyfriend, urging her to open up the rift to bring her back from the dead!
Wait, Ethics' Boyfriend isn't dead? Creepy Old Man stabs Boyfriend! Now he's dead!!!
The entire team turns on Boss! We're gonna open up the Rift! Creepy Old Man showed us visions of our loved ones that we lost and we want them back!
Boss: "Step away from the Rift-Opener!!!!"
Asshole: "I shoot you!! Anger Emotions!!!"
Boss: "I'm dead right now, guess I can't stop you anymore!!!"
They open up the rift!!! It vacuum sucks all the aliens back into it, and brings Ethics' Boyfriend back to life. No CyberGF or Pilot Lady though.
Boss comes back to life, because he is immortal.
Team Torchwood: "What the hell??? You're immortal????"
Boss: "uhhh no, i just, came back cause you opened the rift, duh"
Torchwood: "Oh right, that makes sense, cause we just saw it do that with Boyfriend!"
except that's not the conversation that happened. Instead, Boss's secret immortality has been revealed. Ethics knew about it from episode 1, but now the whole team knows his secret!
Well, I guess everything worked out. I guess if you open the Rift once, all hell breaks loose, and if you open it twice, it will completely undo that.
Oh wait- Hell is breaking loose! Literally! A straight up giant demon is stomping around the city! Everyone caught under its shadow dies instantly!!!
Creepy Old Man: "Hahaha! everything has gone exactly according to plan! I tricked you into opening the rift and now my boss, Big Demon, is free!"
Boss runs to an open field and yells at Big Demon! Hey Big Demon come over here!
Big Demon: "i'm in a city full of screaming people, but I guess some guy a few kilometers away is taunting me, so, here I come! I guess I have super hearing!"
Boss: "How about you eat my life force!"
Big Demon: "Okie dokie!"
Boss: "I'm immortal!"
Big Demon: "Oh no... too much life force.... i have overeaten and died!"
Hooray. The day is saved! Boss forgives the entire team and things go back to normal even though like a million people just got killed by a giant demon.
Artifact: Boss! During his travels with The Doctor, a Time Puppy gave Boss immortality! Now whenever Boss dies, he will regenerate from his wounds and come back to life after a while! That's an endless source of life force right? Be careful- if you eat too much life force, you will get obliterated!
Kills: Like a million people
Bosses Defeated: like infinity deaths from Big Demon crammed into a few seconds, and also one death from Asshole shooting Boss.
Births: One Big Demon!
Total Score: infinite
Moral of the Story: Don't overeat or you might erase yourself from history!
It seems the only way to undo this is to open up the Rift AGAIN! Somehow this will vacuum suck all the aliens back into it?
But Boss is not gonna let this happen because, it's obviously just gonna unleash more aliens. why would it do something different this time?
Secretary sees a vision of his CyberGF, urging him to open up the rift to bring her back from the dead!
Asshole sees Pilot Lady, urging him to open up the rift to bring her back from the dead!
Ethics sees her boyfriend, urging her to open up the rift to bring her back from the dead!
Wait, Ethics' Boyfriend isn't dead? Creepy Old Man stabs Boyfriend! Now he's dead!!!
The entire team turns on Boss! We're gonna open up the Rift! Creepy Old Man showed us visions of our loved ones that we lost and we want them back!
Boss: "Step away from the Rift-Opener!!!!"
Asshole: "I shoot you!! Anger Emotions!!!"
Boss: "I'm dead right now, guess I can't stop you anymore!!!"
They open up the rift!!! It vacuum sucks all the aliens back into it, and brings Ethics' Boyfriend back to life. No CyberGF or Pilot Lady though.
Boss comes back to life, because he is immortal.
Team Torchwood: "What the hell??? You're immortal????"
Boss: "uhhh no, i just, came back cause you opened the rift, duh"
Torchwood: "Oh right, that makes sense, cause we just saw it do that with Boyfriend!"
except that's not the conversation that happened. Instead, Boss's secret immortality has been revealed. Ethics knew about it from episode 1, but now the whole team knows his secret!
Well, I guess everything worked out. I guess if you open the Rift once, all hell breaks loose, and if you open it twice, it will completely undo that.
Oh wait- Hell is breaking loose! Literally! A straight up giant demon is stomping around the city! Everyone caught under its shadow dies instantly!!!
Creepy Old Man: "Hahaha! everything has gone exactly according to plan! I tricked you into opening the rift and now my boss, Big Demon, is free!"
Boss runs to an open field and yells at Big Demon! Hey Big Demon come over here!
Big Demon: "i'm in a city full of screaming people, but I guess some guy a few kilometers away is taunting me, so, here I come! I guess I have super hearing!"
Boss: "How about you eat my life force!"
Big Demon: "Okie dokie!"
Boss: "I'm immortal!"
Big Demon: "Oh no... too much life force.... i have overeaten and died!"
Hooray. The day is saved! Boss forgives the entire team and things go back to normal even though like a million people just got killed by a giant demon.
Artifact: Boss! During his travels with The Doctor, a Time Puppy gave Boss immortality! Now whenever Boss dies, he will regenerate from his wounds and come back to life after a while! That's an endless source of life force right? Be careful- if you eat too much life force, you will get obliterated!
Kills: Like a million people
Bosses Defeated: like infinity deaths from Big Demon crammed into a few seconds, and also one death from Asshole shooting Boss.
Births: One Big Demon!
Total Score: infinite
Moral of the Story: Don't overeat or you might erase yourself from history!
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