RE: Timu's Doctor Who and Torchwood Reviews (spoilers!)
04-08-2020, 09:38 PM
torchwood s1 e10
torchwood s1 e11
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Show Content
Spoilervroom vroom! Here comes a plane from 1950! Landing in the present time! Whoa! The three passengers have been transported to the future and there's no way back. Now they have to adapt to modern life.
Phones! Internet! Economic Inflation! Gay People! Racism is bad now! All your friends and family are old and/or dead now!
The three passengers are
1. Pilot Lady
2. Young Girl
3. Adult Man
Young girl and Adult Man aren't related to each other so i don't know why they are on a plane together.
Pilot Lady and Asshole fall in love! Oh also, Asshole and Ethics aren't sleeping together anymore. But Pilot Lady still wants to go back to her modern day and wants to be able to fly a plane. But she doesn't have a license in modern times! She hops back on the plane and flies back through the space time rift, presumably landing at a completely random point in time and space and probably dying instantly. Sorry but that's just statistics for you. Asshole is heartbroken.
Young girl adapts pretty well. She's sad that all her friends and family are gone but she makes new friends and goes to college and stuff and moves to London.
Adult Man is sad that his son is old and senile now, and doesn't remember him. Adult Man kills self. :(
Artifact: Biplane! If you ride this plane while the weather is Timey-Wimey, you'll land at a completely different point in time! But be careful- it's completely random! If you're lucky you'll just be 50 years in the future. If you're unlucky you might end up in the dinosaur days or far in the future when Earth is a burning husk!
Kills: Pilot Lady probably dies. Adult Man kills self with gas in garage.
Bosses Defeated: Boss from same gas in garage.
Births: The three people are given fake identities for their new lives in modern times.
Total Score: 1950
Moral of the Story: If you're stuck in an unfamiliar world and you've lost all of your friends, it's not too late to start a new life! Don't give up hope!
Phones! Internet! Economic Inflation! Gay People! Racism is bad now! All your friends and family are old and/or dead now!
The three passengers are
1. Pilot Lady
2. Young Girl
3. Adult Man
Young girl and Adult Man aren't related to each other so i don't know why they are on a plane together.
Pilot Lady and Asshole fall in love! Oh also, Asshole and Ethics aren't sleeping together anymore. But Pilot Lady still wants to go back to her modern day and wants to be able to fly a plane. But she doesn't have a license in modern times! She hops back on the plane and flies back through the space time rift, presumably landing at a completely random point in time and space and probably dying instantly. Sorry but that's just statistics for you. Asshole is heartbroken.
Young girl adapts pretty well. She's sad that all her friends and family are gone but she makes new friends and goes to college and stuff and moves to London.
Adult Man is sad that his son is old and senile now, and doesn't remember him. Adult Man kills self. :(
Artifact: Biplane! If you ride this plane while the weather is Timey-Wimey, you'll land at a completely different point in time! But be careful- it's completely random! If you're lucky you'll just be 50 years in the future. If you're unlucky you might end up in the dinosaur days or far in the future when Earth is a burning husk!
Kills: Pilot Lady probably dies. Adult Man kills self with gas in garage.
Bosses Defeated: Boss from same gas in garage.
Births: The three people are given fake identities for their new lives in modern times.
Total Score: 1950
Moral of the Story: If you're stuck in an unfamiliar world and you've lost all of your friends, it's not too late to start a new life! Don't give up hope!
torchwood s1 e11
Show Content
SpoilerIt's a bugman! These bugman make several minor appearances through the series as monsters that show up often but are pretty easy to contain and capture. But this time- someone else is capturing them first! Who could it be!
They are being stuffed into vans and taken to an abandoned warehouse! Torchwood follows but the criminals have disappeared. Time to do some investigating!
Asshole visits Real Estate Man. Real Estate Man (REM) is in charge of abandoned warehouses, so maybe he knows something? They don't really learn anything, but REM asks Asshole out for drinks. Asshole says sure.
REM and Asshole are at the bar, when some aggressive men attack! This leads to a fist fight between 5 white guys! Shaky camera! Fast movements! Everyone looks the same, except for Asshole, because we've had 11 episodes to get used to Asshole's face! What's going on? Apparently REM and Asshole win, and they go to REM's apartment together. Are they gay? No.
REM says "i noticed how aggressive you are"
Asshole: "yeah i fell in love in the last episode with Pilot Lady, but she flew away and died"
REM says "aw that's a shame. but us men need an outlet for our aggression and anger emotions! Want to join my fight club?
Asshole: "hold on i need to pee"
Asshole goes to the bathroom and noticed a door is locked, so he breaks in and finds a Bugman all chained up!!!
REM: "yeah check it out, this bugman is my personal punching bag! We have more at my fight club!"
Asshole: "I still have anger emotions about Pilot Lady, so, yeah okay sure!"
They go to the fight club. There's a cage and there's a bugman in the middle. People are placing bets on how long they can last in the bugman cage before dying or chickening out.
Asshole: "anger emotions! heartbreak! I'm going into the bugman cage of my own free will!"
Team Torchwood: "We are here! Everyone is under arrest! Memory wipes!"
Asshole: "I'm still in the cage! The rush of adrenaline makes me feel alive, anger emotions!"
Team Torchwood: "Get out of there you dumbass!"
Asshole: "okay, but still anger emotions or something!"
Artifact: Bugmen! These fun boys wear leather jackets and have ugly faces! Lots of these guys come in through the spacetime rift, and live in the sewers. They eat poop! But be careful, if you run into them outside of the sewers, they will beat you up with their deadly claws and teeth!
Kills: At least two people kill themselves in the bugman cage.
Bosses Defeated: no
Births: no
Total Score: 5 minutes in the bugman cage! New record!
Moral: What the hell? There are better ways to get over heartbreak! Stop being so aggressive all the time!!!
They are being stuffed into vans and taken to an abandoned warehouse! Torchwood follows but the criminals have disappeared. Time to do some investigating!
Asshole visits Real Estate Man. Real Estate Man (REM) is in charge of abandoned warehouses, so maybe he knows something? They don't really learn anything, but REM asks Asshole out for drinks. Asshole says sure.
REM and Asshole are at the bar, when some aggressive men attack! This leads to a fist fight between 5 white guys! Shaky camera! Fast movements! Everyone looks the same, except for Asshole, because we've had 11 episodes to get used to Asshole's face! What's going on? Apparently REM and Asshole win, and they go to REM's apartment together. Are they gay? No.
REM says "i noticed how aggressive you are"
Asshole: "yeah i fell in love in the last episode with Pilot Lady, but she flew away and died"
REM says "aw that's a shame. but us men need an outlet for our aggression and anger emotions! Want to join my fight club?
Asshole: "hold on i need to pee"
Asshole goes to the bathroom and noticed a door is locked, so he breaks in and finds a Bugman all chained up!!!
REM: "yeah check it out, this bugman is my personal punching bag! We have more at my fight club!"
Asshole: "I still have anger emotions about Pilot Lady, so, yeah okay sure!"
They go to the fight club. There's a cage and there's a bugman in the middle. People are placing bets on how long they can last in the bugman cage before dying or chickening out.
Asshole: "anger emotions! heartbreak! I'm going into the bugman cage of my own free will!"
Team Torchwood: "We are here! Everyone is under arrest! Memory wipes!"
Asshole: "I'm still in the cage! The rush of adrenaline makes me feel alive, anger emotions!"
Team Torchwood: "Get out of there you dumbass!"
Asshole: "okay, but still anger emotions or something!"
Artifact: Bugmen! These fun boys wear leather jackets and have ugly faces! Lots of these guys come in through the spacetime rift, and live in the sewers. They eat poop! But be careful, if you run into them outside of the sewers, they will beat you up with their deadly claws and teeth!
Kills: At least two people kill themselves in the bugman cage.
Bosses Defeated: no
Births: no
Total Score: 5 minutes in the bugman cage! New record!
Moral: What the hell? There are better ways to get over heartbreak! Stop being so aggressive all the time!!!
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