Timu's Doctor Who and Torchwood Reviews (spoilers!)

12th doctor s3 e5

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i watched the next episode of doctor who
in this episode the doctor and bill and nardole (the bald funny one) go to a space station
in the future
the moral of this story is capitalism is bad
in this space station you have to wear these special suits
they provide oxygen and are the only source of oxygen. but they provide it for a price
if you aren't a good enough worker, they kill you off by deactivating your central nervous system and then the suits can autopilot since they are robotic suits
so you have these dead zombie people except they're not zombies, they're just robots that happen to have dead people in them
so basically if you don't provide enough profit then you die
the doctor fixes this by hacking the system so that human lives are now not worth 0 credits
also in the process a ton of people die and it's very scary

Digimon World Enthusiast Jac ??05/14/2017
why do they even have any people if the robots are good enough to do their jobs

Granola05/14/2017
"Dead people in walking spacesuits were in that one popular episode let's do it again to see if it's still popular"

Digimon World Enthusiast Jac ??05/14/2017
dead people in walking spacesuits is a good concept

Timu05/14/2017
cause the robots aren't smart enough to solve basic problems
except they are cause of learning algorithms
i guess basically the value of human pilots decreases over time as the AIs get smarter

12th dr, s3 e6

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i'll make it quick
the latest doctor who episode the doctor finds out that the whole world and himself and everyone he knows is just a simulation
a big realistic simulation run by aliens
the aliens are creepy zombie looking guys
fortunately the simulation is so good that simulation sonic screwdriver works just as well as the real one, so simulationdoctor sends an email to realdoctor warning him about these aliens
the end

dr12, s3, e7

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dr who
hii
previous on dr whogioh
some spooky zombie-looking creepy aliens wearing monk costumes are running simulations to determine how best to conquer the earth

Digimon World Enthusiast Jac ??05/27/2017
good idea

Timu05/27/2017
but the simulation is so good, that the simulated doctor is able to send an email to the real doctor warning him of their plot

Digimon World Enthusiast Jac ??05/27/2017
oops

Timu05/27/2017
now it's the next episode, and the real doctor has read this email but turns out none of that matters at all
the aliens plop their giant ass pyramid ship down in asia somewhere, right in between the russian, chinese and american armies
the doctor, having read the email, recognizes them when they step out of the pyramid since they're creepy zombielookiung aliens wearing monk costumes "oh you guys are the ones running the simulation i was emailed about" , they aliens are like hey, come inside our ship, we wanna show you our simulation machine
which we would have showed you whether or not you knew we ran simulations
since we run all these simulations, we know that the world is about to end in like, half an hour. if you agree to let us rule you, we will save you
the generals of the armies there are like okay uh,,, how about we call off world war three which was presumably about to start here, and then we won't need your help. but the simulations still indicate the end of the world! so it's not world war 3 that ends the world its something out
the doctor does some hacking and determines some laboratory in the uk accidentally made a biohazardous bacteria that will fuck everyone up a lot, so he takes the tardis there but still fucks up and is unable to prevent the outbreak
so the humans are forced to consent to the alien conquering DUN DUN DUNNN
end of episode (it's a three parter) (this was end of part 2)

Digimon World Enthusiast Jac ??05/27/2017
and then as a result of consenting the world ends, because they were still in a simulation, and because the aliens wont hey turned the simulation off, so it ends

Timu05/27/2017
i hope our new alien overlords are nice and care about us
oh so
i bet like you said it's still a simulation
so part 2 is what i just described of course, cause that episode aired
and part 3 is the aliens' going like OKay simulation success, let's do it for real now, and then it's just a replay of part 2

12th dr, s3, ep8

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previously on doctor who, an alien race of creepy zombie people offered to save the planet as long as the human agree that they want their help
the aliens use that power to create a psychic link, which was then broadcast throughout the world to everyone, allowing the aliens to create a false history that everyone believes in, in which the aliens are humanities friends and have always helped them
even the doctor seems to be working with them! the companion is the only one who knows the truth for they are the one who asked for help in the first place. after a strange rescue mission that's narrated, weirdly, like "and so we found a boat that could lead us into the place" .;...... narration like that does not happen very often in doctor who it felt very out of place
bill is like doctor i have found you in the alien office building, i'm here to rescue you since obviously you're just forced to work with them right?
doctor says, no, i am truly working with the aliens, and you're dumb and you should feel bad and cry
bill is like boohoo hoo emotional scene where all hope seems lost
doctor says just joking! hahahaa!! every except bill is laughing! You were pranked! it was all a test to make sure you didn't believe in the false history
this whole thing was completely unneccesary!

Digimon World Enthusiast Jac ??06/03/2017
sounds cool and like a good time and not a shitty thing to do

Timu06/03/2017
then they go to the alien ship and have a psychic mind battle with the alien transmitter
now all the humans realize the truth! and even though the aliens still have incredible technology that reduces all human weapons harmless, and can also shoot lightning out of their hands (just like the zygons and the silents and every other doctor who monster ever)
the aliens run away! world is saved

bill wins the psychic mind battle by thinking about her mom, which, you would think would have like replaced everyone's idea of human history with "who the heck is this woman and why is she my mom now"

or maybe like "throughout human history the aliens have been helping and guiding us through all the historical events.... wait whoop that's being over written... it was actually this mom who did all those things!"

dr12 s3 e9

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so
the doctor goes to nasa, the nasa building is seen in a 3 second cgi sweeping aerial shot
that's not important i just thought it was silly
how it was cgi'
and i could tell it was cgi
anyways the mars nasa thing uses a new camera to see under the ice cap and finds someone wrote out in rocks GOD SAVE THE QUEEN
the doctor is like ooo interesting and so he goes to mars in 1811 which was when it was written
there is the Ice Warrior (just one, last of his kind, the native martian alien) and a bunch of british people
the british people found the ice warrior in south africa
and the ice warrior was taking a 5000 year nap and then they woke him up and helped him fix his spaceship and so they went to mars
and the british people are like tada we claim mars for the british empire
direct quote time:
doctor: the ice warriors are the indigineous species, you don't belong here
britsh villain: of course we do, we're british
so the british people are diggging and uncover the Ice Queen sleeping on a bed for 5000 years
the doctor is like don't touch it that's a bad idea it's a bad idea!
and one british guy is like but it has jewels on the side i will touch it
and so he dies and the ice queen wakes up and is like hi i'm the ice queen suprise the ice warriors are a matriarchal society

Digimon World Enthusiast Jac ??06/17/2017
sounds legit

Timu06/17/2017
then the british villain is like "i'm too prideful to work together with the ice queen, i will start a conflict cause i'm an asshole!"
and then his superior officer who is a decent guy is like "no don't"
and then british villain is like i'm assuming command! i'm doing amutiny because i'm an asshole and also going to start a war with the ice warriors because i'm too prideful to understand that the ice warriors can walk the floor with us with their superior technology
that i have already witnessed turn my underlings into little balls of trash
their guns are shoot blasts that turn people into trashcompacter cubes
this already happened to the guy who touched the bed but hey fortunately i have a knife and i managed to sneak to the ice queen and put it to her throat which will work in taking her hostage
then the original british leader is like you're evil! i will shoot you and british villain dies
and ice queen is like i see, so not all humans are assholes, let's be friends
the end happy ending they have a reference to an old 3rd doctor character who was a space alien diplomat who comes and helps the ice people join star trek alliance thing
star fleet i think it was called

Digimon World Enthusiast Jac ??06/17/2017
dr who actually invented strar trek

Timu06/17/2017
yes
so that was actually last weeks episode which we skipped since i was on vacation
now i will watch the next episode that aired today

12th dr , s3, e10

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remember when the roman 9th legion invaded scotland
but they all died because of an alien from another dimension destroyed them all?
a dimension full of more monsters that can eat light, and if allowed to escape would consume all the stars in the universe?

Digimon World Enthusiast Jac ??06/17/2017
yeah

Timu06/17/2017
but were fought back by the survivors of the 9th legion and the survivors of the scottish villagers and finally sealed away forever by the power of teamwork?
this episode was about how that happened