Timu's Doctor Who and Torchwood Reviews (spoilers!)

Spoilers obviously for Doctor Who and Torchwood.  For Doctor Who, it's mostly spoilers for 12th and 13th doctor era.

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SpoilerDeath.  Let me know if I should add more!

I'm mostly just going to be copy and pasting my reviews from discord here


Here's a basic timeline of Doctor Who as a show.

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Spoiler

Doctor Who:  12th doctor, 3rd season episode 1

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Spoilerin the latest doctor who it is season premier
doctor who has gotten tenure at cambridge or whatever so he's been teaching there for like 70 years or so
now it's the future, 2017, and he notices the next companion is attending his lectures even though she's not a student
but he's a professor now so he's not allowed to go on adventures, but he does anyway
so the new companion is gay and she has a gay crush on a local girl who's pretty
the local girl is depressed though and has found a puddle
the puddle's an alien and it eats her

Digimon World Enthusiast Jac ??04/19/2017
I wish I could find a puddle
is it the absorbaloff

Timu04/19/2017
no it's an oil spill from an alien ship
the alien oil spill has the power to be a spaceship
so, i dunno why it's the oil for a spaceship when it can be the spaceship
anyways, since the puddle ate the depressed girl who has a gay crush back on the new companion bill,
the puddle spaceship follows her everywhere and rivals the tardis in how fast it can move and also time travel too

Digimon World Enthusiast Jac ??04/19/2017
thats the power of gay

Timu04/19/2017
yup
so it follows her everywhere being a scary monster, all, turning into a puddle but also into the form of the girl to be creepy
like, the drowned zombie type of monster
like, hi i'm home mom, oh you're in the shower, okay i'm gonna go to the kitchen oh i'm getting a phone call, hi mom, wait, how ar eyou calling me from phone if you're in shower???? WHO IS PHONE?
it's the oil spill who is gay who is dripping very hard in the bathroom for no reason
doctor i think something scary is happening, there's this girl who is dead and dripping and is repeating everything i say but monotone and creepy and also screams when she attacks, though i dunno why she's attacking me and trying to strangle me when she just is gay
the doctor, after confirming that the puddle can travel through time to chase bill wherever she goes, decides it's a good idea to visit the daleks

Digimon World Enthusiast Jac ??04/19/2017
sounds like a good idea

Timu04/19/2017
puddle girl transforms into a dalek in order to scare them again and then the doctor is like "well, you have a gun why didn't you use it" and then they realize that it was just love all along
that explains why puddle follows bill everywhere, but not why she acts very scary, up until this point
puddle girl and bill have a gay moment where they hold hands and say goodbye
then she turns into a puddle and seeps away.  then the doctor says lets go on more adventures and then the episode ends
i'm gay now
you're gay now
everyone who watched the episode is gay now
that's the power of putting gay on tv

Digimon World Enthusiast Jac ??04/19/2017
I'm glad the bbc has finally made everyone gay