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Coolacanth · 02-02-2020, 02:28 PM

[Image: leace_the_mcy_yuove_had_enouh.png]

The Mining Corporation of Ymca trolternia (MCY) controls vast swathes of lan in trolternia (as well as a chain of department stores, the water rights of the moon (a brutal war still rages over the water lefts)), and a brand called “RAT” that was created exclusively to manage their patent troll properties). It’d take about eighteen hours of driving on this gravel road to get out of the MCT Supramiami Autonomous Zone.

[Image: 0051.gif]

There is a faster road, though. A more dangerous, rare, and illegal road. “The Railroad”

You focus your eye on the overpass and let your foot’s weight press the gas pedal down to the weathered, dusty faux leather of the cab floor. You’ve had your morning coffee, without which you literally can’t survive (you will die, this is not a hyperbole). The taste still lingers on your tongue. Fresh. While holding the wheel with your knees, you pull out your radio and log onto your group chat.

show spiritlogShow

The connection crackles as you pass under a power line, and you have to restart the call.

show spiritlogShow

WELCOME TO MYSPACE PIZZA ASTROLOGY FORUM (MSPAF)
Please remember the ground rules!
-All juridical persons have beautiful souls deserving our love.
-Pizza discussions must be conducted in the pizza subforum. Please see the pinned thread in that subforum for its specific civility rules.
-New users must post real photos of themselves in accordance with the Identity Tracking Decree of the 68th Emperor Alive And Of Sound Mind
-Don’t forget to sign up for MSPAF Plus membership, only $[google and put in weed number here when i get net] a month!
-Destiny is real.

And now, a word from our sponsors.

A word

And now, welcome to My SPace. Your current local time is 11:55 AM.

CG: - this reminds me of that time i was crucified
CG: kids these days don’t know what to do with a couple boards and a box of nails
CG: too wrapped up in their computers and their selfies
CG: nobody ever uses facebook these days
CG: remember facebook
CG: but the long n short of it is that this is just like when they crucified me, and every day they came back to see if i was dead yet
CG: and every day i was still not dead
CG: so in the end they stopped coming
CG: i hung on that crucifix until a large eagle came and carried it away for nesting material
CG: and that whole time i thought to myself, one day some whippersnapper will need a lesson on respectin their elders
CG: and then i’ll tell them this story n they’ll know better
CG: over
GT: r&g&r th&t &ng&r gl&d t& h&&r y&ur v&ic& & s&m& &f y&ur &nci&nt wisd&m i just w&k& up & &m driving t& tr&l &ustr&li& h&w is it g&ing in th& r&t dim&nsi&n &v&r
CG: that question reminds me of a time when i was cooking at the military restaurant and someone made me make them a souflee
CG: i made them a classic Sue flay, reanimated it, and walked it over to their table, and they were furious and impaled me to the floor
CG: and there were rats everywhere on the floor because in the good old days we didn’t care about “high jean” or any of those other fashion styles ideas
CG: its alot like that
CG: over
GT: & h&w &b&ut &v&ry&n& &ls& &r& y’&ll f&&ling gr&&t &n this kick&ss summ&r d&y &v&r
GT: i &m p&rs&n&lly f&&ling &xtr&m&ly g&&d, n& int&rn&l c&nflict &t &ll just drivin down this l&ng r&&d & n&t l&&king b&ck &n my childh&&d & w&nd&ring &b&ut wh&t c&nstitut&s &bus& & wh&t is just r&gul&r p&r&nting c&us& im t&& PSYCHED &b&ut st&rting th& r&di& sh&w s& r&m&mb&r if &ny &f y&u &r& in th& &r&& &f tr&l mi&mi just turn y&ur di&l to [REMINDER: GOOGLE SEX NUMBER] t& h&&r s&m& sw&&t tun&s & t&lkin in &b&ut &n h&ur &v&r

You wait for a reply for several seconds, then realize with a pang of hunger that you haven’t eaten breakfast yet.

[Image: Smooch_beefcake_illustrations.png]

[Image: Smooch_beefcake_illustrations.png]

You open up your fridge and kiss your beefcake. Luscious gobbets of meat and strawberries mix with subtle whipped cream and soft meringue. You begin to salivate, opening your mouth - CRUNCH!!!

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You’ve run aground!!! A smaller truck is lodged in your left front bumper. Your FIGUREHEADS hiss in alarm at the same time as steam begins hissing from under the hood of the other vehicle.

>_