RE: I Will Reply
11-28-2019, 02:27 AM
To: Cent, Realized Their Purpose Wrote
Visiting the hive for the first time in almost a year was an interesting experience. There was a depressing atmosphere to it that I'm surprised I never noticed before. Everyone had lost at least one person they cared deeply about, the pain of it yet lingered and forever would. I think the traditions and stories and solidarity helped them deal with it and process it, but it never quite went away. I took part in one final flower worship ceremony, and for a moment I felt The Devil compelling me to stay. The thought disturbed me profoundly, the name I gave the flower now took on such a different meaning. Such a terrible, horrible meaning I couldn't help but fly away as soon as I felt it and understood it.
I've left that place behind me for good. I don't know if my defying The Devil was some impressive feat of willpower or not. If I made the biggest mistake of my life or not. All I know is if I had stayed with the hive, I would have eventually died surrounded by a loving family, having done nothing with my life. And maybe it's just me, but knowing that something will be my death is the most terrifying thing I can imagine. I think I'll tell the hive's story in full one day, and get a book made about it or something. But right now I just want to get away from it all.
I've been on the road for the past two weeks or so. Arrived at the first refueling station today, and let me tell you, travelling for that long is soooooo boooooooring! The sights are interesting and all the first few times, but it just gets so repetitive. Mountain, valley, mountain, valley, rinse and repeat. And the roads seem to be taking the exact longest possible routes around the mountains. I've seen tunnels, I know they exist, so where are they?
I actually had to look up the word "trans" online cause that's entirely new to me. It sounds super interesting. Like, I always thought of gender as some generic fact about someone which used to have a purpose back when bees at the hive had actual roles and jobs to do based on it. Never thought to implement it into some sort of personal "identity" thing. Even that concept alone feels almost alien, having an emotional connection to facts about oneself. I dunno, guess it's rude to judge, but I'm personally having a hard time wrapping my head around it at least.
Visiting the hive for the first time in almost a year was an interesting experience. There was a depressing atmosphere to it that I'm surprised I never noticed before. Everyone had lost at least one person they cared deeply about, the pain of it yet lingered and forever would. I think the traditions and stories and solidarity helped them deal with it and process it, but it never quite went away. I took part in one final flower worship ceremony, and for a moment I felt The Devil compelling me to stay. The thought disturbed me profoundly, the name I gave the flower now took on such a different meaning. Such a terrible, horrible meaning I couldn't help but fly away as soon as I felt it and understood it.
I've left that place behind me for good. I don't know if my defying The Devil was some impressive feat of willpower or not. If I made the biggest mistake of my life or not. All I know is if I had stayed with the hive, I would have eventually died surrounded by a loving family, having done nothing with my life. And maybe it's just me, but knowing that something will be my death is the most terrifying thing I can imagine. I think I'll tell the hive's story in full one day, and get a book made about it or something. But right now I just want to get away from it all.
I've been on the road for the past two weeks or so. Arrived at the first refueling station today, and let me tell you, travelling for that long is soooooo boooooooring! The sights are interesting and all the first few times, but it just gets so repetitive. Mountain, valley, mountain, valley, rinse and repeat. And the roads seem to be taking the exact longest possible routes around the mountains. I've seen tunnels, I know they exist, so where are they?
I actually had to look up the word "trans" online cause that's entirely new to me. It sounds super interesting. Like, I always thought of gender as some generic fact about someone which used to have a purpose back when bees at the hive had actual roles and jobs to do based on it. Never thought to implement it into some sort of personal "identity" thing. Even that concept alone feels almost alien, having an emotional connection to facts about oneself. I dunno, guess it's rude to judge, but I'm personally having a hard time wrapping my head around it at least.
Watch in awe as I end every comment I've ever written and ever will write with the greatest and most anticlimactic signature in the universe!!!!!!!!!
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