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Coolacanth · 11-27-2019, 08:27 PM

ok.

[Image: Turn_that_hourgalse_over_I_wanna_go_back_in_time.png]

Not yet.

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click for sound

That’s right! You left your phone on the table in here. As the landlord-provided in-home surveillance system detects your proximity to your phone, each of your 35 distinct instant messaging apps each begin ringing with all your missed notifications. If this goes on for too long, the phone overheats and melts into plastic slag. With gamer swiftness, you grab the device and turn off the sound. It’s still hot enough to leave scorch marks on your hands. This is the price you pay to stay connected.

Long ago, you tried using the instant messaging software on your Fallout 4 Pip-Boy Edition Limited Edition Fallout 4 Pip-Boy 3000 mark IV, but you could never get the hang of using the mouse to choose individual letters and then clicking Enter. Maybe that makes you less of a gamer. But it’s the truth.

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You log in to one of the most popular servers and choose the chat labeled “home repair”. You scroll to the most recent messages and begin writing.

~*~* Welcometo Home repair! Enjoy your stay!*~*~
Rules- no gamer words
-Dm admins proof of cheevos
-drywall pics are only permitted in #nsfh

50+ New Messages Since 19:37 AM On Enneatember 11, 4714. Mark as Red?
grendelGretel (1 cheevo): So thanks for nothing I guess, LOSER.
-28th of trolternia, 24th year, 2909 months, 1 hour, 54th week, 22nd day of the moon, nth empire-
groceryGhoul (1 cheevo): hey guys how do i fix my floor
groceryGhoul (1 cheevo): its made of meat
groceryGhoul (1 cheevoes): but i was moving my refridgeratoer [Image: refrigerator_emoji.png]

and didnt have one of those little footy things on the bottom and it made a big old scrape
goingGone (2 cheevo): did you try running after it
groceryGhoul (1 cheevo): and now my windowe (rat skin) [Image: rat_skin_emoji.png]

is shutdering, how do i make it stop?
griffonGyre (3 cheevo): Try massaging the meat with some aromatherapeutic oils.
groceryGhoul (1 cheevo): oh, now theres bloud [Image: blood_emoji.png]

welling up from the wound! theres too much, its almost at my computer [Image: computer_emoji.png]

!
groceryGhoul (1 cheevo): goodbuye faire world
griffonGyre (3 cheevo): Goodbye groceryGhoul.
goatGoogler (5 cheevos): haha youre just supposed to put pressure [Image: pressure_emoji.png]

on the wound , idoit
gourmandGunter (gamerrank hidden): hey has anyone here ever tried changign the toilet paper. [Image: toilet_paper_emoji.png]

[Image: some_awful_gamer_dudes_face_emoji.png]

-27th of trolternia, 24th year, 2909 months, 1 hour, 54th week, 23nd day of the moon, nth empire-
goodGamer (gamerrank hidden): Hello dear fellow gamerades. I have a problem which I gamerly desire your assistance with.
glitterGneiss (13 cheevos): haha that guy with the meat, was that a trol?
glitterGneiss (13 cheevos): i guess we are all trols honestly, i never considered that
glitterGneiss (13 cheevos): its like our entire existence is some sort of inside joke and ive just cracked the window open and am letting all the heatlaughs in
goodGamer (gamerrank hidden): My window [Image: window_emoji.png]

has become broken, just like fire mages [Image: fire_mage_comic_emoji.png]

, ha, ha!
goodGamer (gamerrank hidden): How do you all suggest I gameremedy a leaking pixel vacuum? And before you say to ask my landlord - remember what happened when I had a broken dishwasher! [Image: emoji_of_some_really_upset_guy_maybe_ltf...ld_man.png]

[Image: emoji_of_some_really_upset_guy_maybe_ltf...ld_man.png]