You are an assassin.

>With sick burns. Hit him with an insult so dank and potent that he spontaneously combusts through shame.[snip]

"Sometimes when she's alone your wife cries and she doesn't know why. She can never be happy and even though she doesn't love you anymore when you die it'll fucking rip her apart"
"You know exactly what you've done to deserve this"
"Your kids don't call for a reason"
You burn Bilburt to the extreme. Like he's your first goddamn marshmallow over a campfire.
His tiny worm brain is filled with SELF-DOUBT and MISERY.

He starts crying.

>Throw the gun at him.

Crushed his head. Just like a fly. Anything else would probably be over-

S U P L E X

Kill #1: Billburt The short
well, you did it.

Getting out of here is probably your first priority. This guy looks pretty peeved, and peeved people tend to call the police on murders.