Tatanga vs. Crash Man: Suggestions encouraged! [UPDATE 10/15]

Crash Man, head to the FEDA above the barracks and input
> evacuate_Magikarp

Crash Man refuses to let his empathy for Magikarp fade away simply because of a Barrack deficit. If he can’t make room in his ranks for the forlorn fish, he still has room in his heart.

The Robot Master decides that the best way to keep Magikarp safe is to get him out of the field of battle as soon as possible. He quickly hops up to Fort Tatanga’s FEDA terminal, hoping to brute-force some sort of an evacuation command before the Standard Bomb goes off.

Tatanga, throw your hammer at the Standard Bomb!

Tatanga decides that he won’t stand for this level of terminal-hijacking. With his alien reflexes, he hops a safe distance away from the Standard Bomb before executing an expertly-aimed Hammer Toss Combat maneuver just past the hull of the S.S. Crashman.

The Standard Bomb explodes.







Propelled by the force of the explosion, the Standard Hammer careens across Fort Tatanga and knocks Crash Man off the upper level, wedging itself in the terminal.







Magikarp sails through the roof of Fort Tatanga and out of the arena, breaking the Fort’s flag in the process.







As if it weren’t entirely obvious to anyone with eyes that things have gone to hell in a handbasket, the Battle GUI descends to update us on the particulars. Fort Tatanga’s status has been lowered to Pretty Trashed. A decent part of the rope ladder has burned away from the explosion. The FEDA terminal has been rendered unusable and in dire need of repair. The S.S. Crashman is almost totaled, with its parts strewn about the Fort and its windshield cracked.

Crash Man took 14 points of blunt damage from the Hammer Toss Combat maneuver, boosted by its explosive propulsion from the Standard Bomb. Tatanga took no damage from the explosion, but his Team Health has been lowered by 16 pixels from Magikarp’s forceful ejection.

Upon re-examining the strategic value of recent events, Tatanga can’t help but grimace. He winces as he goes down the mental checklist of setbacks from the fracas. The health gap has been extended, with Team Crash Man maintaining its lead. Fort Tatanga has seen better days, and now lacks a functioning terminal with which to fix it.

Tatanga retroactively justifies his decisions by noting that without Magikarp in the way, the average intelligence of Team Tatanga has skyrocketed. He refuses to acknowledge, however, that he could have accomplished the same thing by simply allowing Crash Man to evacuate Magikarp using the terminal.

At least Crash Man is now prone atop the Barracks, leaving Tatanga a brief window to act without the influence of idiot interlopers, foreign or domestic.