RE: "Seriously brain, what the hell?" A Thread For Weird Dreams and Nightmares
02-15-2019, 06:13 AM
TimuToday at 12:34 AM
hi hi
last night i had a dream where i was a schoolteacher for like, 6-8 year olds or something
i was chaperoning a soccer game at a local park.
the little kids team was winning by a large margin against the rude teen team, despite how the rude teen team was scoring a goal every five seconds by kicking the ball as hard as they could into the face of this poor little five year old kid who was standing inside the goal (scoring a point in the process), it bounce off kids face, repeat,
it was brutal, but it was also a dream so, the kid was fine i guess. the kid was almost costing Little Kids their huge lead because he was distracted by some girl he had a crush on in the bleachers, but Little Kids still won. everyone else went home, but i decided to let my class of little kids stay in the park a little longer-
but then we got ensnared by vines or something!!!! and we were trapped sitting on these benches in the woods for like, two weeks. we could still move our hands so we were able to grab like, berries and stuff i guess to survive
then, this police officer, Officer A, drove by and then said WHOA these people are trapped in the woods, officer B and C, come and help!!!
officer C said "i will free them with this dynamite!!!" and threw like a little tnt grenade at us and i picked it up and threw it away
officer A: "What are you doing!!!! you'll kill us all with those explosives!!!"
C: "well I'm not going down there, it's too dangerous! " *throws another grenade *
(i throw that one out of harms way too) officer A: "stop!!!!!! Officer D and E and F!!! come take care of these bad officers!"
officers D, E and F, all burst out of little holes in the ground, where they had apparently been hiding in since long before that soccer game
D and E shot B and C in the head
and officer A said, "officer F, you are ALSO not loyal enough!" (despite having been in a hole this whole time) and shot officer F in the head also
then officer A, D and E came and released me and the little kids from the vines and said "You must get onto this truck!!! and bring 5 crushed cardboard boxes with you!!! or ELSE!" (it was clear at this point that these were not really police officers, but kidnappers)
we all had to gather some of the crushed cardboard boxes on the forest floor and get into the back of this truck
one kid was running behind trying to catch up, because they were slow, but i am an adult and i hoisted them up to safety onto the back of the truck, and then i subtly tore my own cardboard boxes up so the kid could have enough cardboard
so they took us to this recylcing plant to recycle the cardboard, and while they were distracted, i used my magic to defeat kidnappers A, D and E, saving everyone
dream part 2:
fast forward three years: i'm a famous archwizard, rich, also a medical doctor. i have an office connected to my penthouse. my office hours are, like, never, because i'm a celebrity who is rich and reclusive. the only person who ever sees me is my personal assistant, who i have because i'm rich. she's a secret stardew valley character that you only ever see if you become a doctor in that game, hence why no one but me has seen her. basically everyone else that i used to know personally, has left my life because i don't talk to anyone anymore.
in other words, i was playing stardew valley, became a doctor and accidentally went afk for three years while everyone's friendship values gradually dropped to zero
i'm in my enormous bathtub, and i'm like, wheeweee, fighting those kidnappers is exhausting, even though that was three years ago, from my point of view it basically just happened so i'm tired and i'm gonna take a nice relazing bath
this bathtub has like, four faucets overlaid and nested on each other and there's like, boxes of free candy on the wall and it's nice and takes forever to fill up and while i'm waiting and trying to figure out how to maximize the rate of water filling, some commoner is peeping on my through my fancy window that doesn't actually hide anything
the commoner says "you are that famous person who is a powerful rich witchdoctor, which is a witch who is also a doctor. not like a voodoo doctor. you can do magic and have a lot of money and influence is basically what i'm getting at. my daughter is an illegal immigrant can you help me with this"
and i'm like yo no problem i am very good at magic and i snap my fingers et voila, in my hands is the Visa and drivers license and all the other documents that you need. i made them with my magic. also these are legit. like you can't just make some papers, you also gotta put it into the governments computer systems so i did that too.
i like fill my pockets with skittles and stuff from the free candy and also i am wearing clothes now, and i go with the family to the government customs border place and the guy, we'll call him Agent A, he says, "well, everything looks legit. because it is. but the problem is. i know you did this with magic... because all these files were here five minutes ago!!! and also you're a famous magic user. so. it's kind of obvious that this stuff is not Truly Legit....................... but i'll let it slide. because i'm nice!!!!! hey now that you're approved for american, let's go to this room over here"
they let the legal immigrants go about their lives but they take me to this big white room with an altar there and there are two other agents Agent B and Agent C there, and Agent A says
SURPRISE!!! we are real government agents... we are CULTISTS, and we are part of the same cult as Officer A, B, C, D, E, and F, that tried to kidnap you three years ago!!!!! you killed our leader officer A, (and also those other officers died too) so now, I, Agent A, and the new leader and i'm gonna fight you for revenge!!!!
and i say, well, i can do magic!!!!! and Agent A says, I can also do magic!!!!!!!
Agent B and C are like "so can we!"!!! and i fight them all in a magic duel. B and C are defeated easily because i'm really good at magic!!! but agent A is harder to fight, so it's like a final boss fight and it's difficult but eventually i win because i use magic to turn myself into a Spring (like a metal coil) while he was transformed into String (like some cable for choking and tying)
and the string gets tangled in the spring, and so that's how i defeated agent A, and so i defeated the cult of cardboard recycling kidnappers!!!! the end!!!
hi hi
last night i had a dream where i was a schoolteacher for like, 6-8 year olds or something
i was chaperoning a soccer game at a local park.
the little kids team was winning by a large margin against the rude teen team, despite how the rude teen team was scoring a goal every five seconds by kicking the ball as hard as they could into the face of this poor little five year old kid who was standing inside the goal (scoring a point in the process), it bounce off kids face, repeat,
it was brutal, but it was also a dream so, the kid was fine i guess. the kid was almost costing Little Kids their huge lead because he was distracted by some girl he had a crush on in the bleachers, but Little Kids still won. everyone else went home, but i decided to let my class of little kids stay in the park a little longer-
but then we got ensnared by vines or something!!!! and we were trapped sitting on these benches in the woods for like, two weeks. we could still move our hands so we were able to grab like, berries and stuff i guess to survive
then, this police officer, Officer A, drove by and then said WHOA these people are trapped in the woods, officer B and C, come and help!!!
officer C said "i will free them with this dynamite!!!" and threw like a little tnt grenade at us and i picked it up and threw it away
officer A: "What are you doing!!!! you'll kill us all with those explosives!!!"
C: "well I'm not going down there, it's too dangerous! " *throws another grenade *
(i throw that one out of harms way too) officer A: "stop!!!!!! Officer D and E and F!!! come take care of these bad officers!"
officers D, E and F, all burst out of little holes in the ground, where they had apparently been hiding in since long before that soccer game
D and E shot B and C in the head
and officer A said, "officer F, you are ALSO not loyal enough!" (despite having been in a hole this whole time) and shot officer F in the head also
then officer A, D and E came and released me and the little kids from the vines and said "You must get onto this truck!!! and bring 5 crushed cardboard boxes with you!!! or ELSE!" (it was clear at this point that these were not really police officers, but kidnappers)
we all had to gather some of the crushed cardboard boxes on the forest floor and get into the back of this truck
one kid was running behind trying to catch up, because they were slow, but i am an adult and i hoisted them up to safety onto the back of the truck, and then i subtly tore my own cardboard boxes up so the kid could have enough cardboard
so they took us to this recylcing plant to recycle the cardboard, and while they were distracted, i used my magic to defeat kidnappers A, D and E, saving everyone
dream part 2:
fast forward three years: i'm a famous archwizard, rich, also a medical doctor. i have an office connected to my penthouse. my office hours are, like, never, because i'm a celebrity who is rich and reclusive. the only person who ever sees me is my personal assistant, who i have because i'm rich. she's a secret stardew valley character that you only ever see if you become a doctor in that game, hence why no one but me has seen her. basically everyone else that i used to know personally, has left my life because i don't talk to anyone anymore.
in other words, i was playing stardew valley, became a doctor and accidentally went afk for three years while everyone's friendship values gradually dropped to zero
i'm in my enormous bathtub, and i'm like, wheeweee, fighting those kidnappers is exhausting, even though that was three years ago, from my point of view it basically just happened so i'm tired and i'm gonna take a nice relazing bath
this bathtub has like, four faucets overlaid and nested on each other and there's like, boxes of free candy on the wall and it's nice and takes forever to fill up and while i'm waiting and trying to figure out how to maximize the rate of water filling, some commoner is peeping on my through my fancy window that doesn't actually hide anything
the commoner says "you are that famous person who is a powerful rich witchdoctor, which is a witch who is also a doctor. not like a voodoo doctor. you can do magic and have a lot of money and influence is basically what i'm getting at. my daughter is an illegal immigrant can you help me with this"
and i'm like yo no problem i am very good at magic and i snap my fingers et voila, in my hands is the Visa and drivers license and all the other documents that you need. i made them with my magic. also these are legit. like you can't just make some papers, you also gotta put it into the governments computer systems so i did that too.
i like fill my pockets with skittles and stuff from the free candy and also i am wearing clothes now, and i go with the family to the government customs border place and the guy, we'll call him Agent A, he says, "well, everything looks legit. because it is. but the problem is. i know you did this with magic... because all these files were here five minutes ago!!! and also you're a famous magic user. so. it's kind of obvious that this stuff is not Truly Legit....................... but i'll let it slide. because i'm nice!!!!! hey now that you're approved for american, let's go to this room over here"
they let the legal immigrants go about their lives but they take me to this big white room with an altar there and there are two other agents Agent B and Agent C there, and Agent A says
SURPRISE!!! we are real government agents... we are CULTISTS, and we are part of the same cult as Officer A, B, C, D, E, and F, that tried to kidnap you three years ago!!!!! you killed our leader officer A, (and also those other officers died too) so now, I, Agent A, and the new leader and i'm gonna fight you for revenge!!!!
and i say, well, i can do magic!!!!! and Agent A says, I can also do magic!!!!!!!
Agent B and C are like "so can we!"!!! and i fight them all in a magic duel. B and C are defeated easily because i'm really good at magic!!! but agent A is harder to fight, so it's like a final boss fight and it's difficult but eventually i win because i use magic to turn myself into a Spring (like a metal coil) while he was transformed into String (like some cable for choking and tying)
and the string gets tangled in the spring, and so that's how i defeated agent A, and so i defeated the cult of cardboard recycling kidnappers!!!! the end!!!
![[Image: egg005.png?raw=1]](https://www.dropbox.com/s/cm0pzbv31rhi5da/egg005.png?raw=1){kind=small}