Delete the Virus

I join N.

I spend all 3 of my actions being bored because N is boring to my limited attention span, I gain Bottled Boredom since I bottled the boredom into a container.

You now have bottled boredom! That...might come in handy later, I suppose?

....Of course, It is still infected with two powerful Viruses, and has been sent to a company which seems to have some very strong products, AND the ability to deliver in Cyberspace with unprecedented speed. But I’m sure this will never be important again.

Kit meows: "I'm sure everything will turn out fine."
Action 1: "This is getting out of hand!" Kit meows. "The virus is close to reaching triple my species's control over the Interwebs. I must rule them all!" Kit pulls out a camera with a tripod and sets it to record after one minute Next, Kit leaps over to his keyboard and starts typing some commands. Initially, it just looks like he's adding a bunch of rectangles around him, but everyone should know better. As the coding finishes, it is easy to see that Kit has just created a nice, small, cozy room. Kit lays down in the room and his posture changes. He starts slouching and acting dexterously challenged. The camera starts filming and Kit rolls onto his back. He stays there for a second or two and then rolls back over. He sits up and stares at the camera, looking at the camera wide-eyed and sad. He sits there for about 30 seconds and shuts off the camera. The cat ejects his camera's data chip and scurries over to his keyboard. As he sits down in front of his keyboard, a strange gap appears in front of him. He inserts the data chip and the video pops up. Kit throws the video into some editing software, makes it look cute, and adds a little bit of text for when he's staring at the camera. The text reads: "Please, help now: " and has a random website link after it. He sends this all across the internet, inevitably reaching everyone except for the Virus. They all watch in sadness as they watch Kit stare sorrowfully at the camera. For people who go to said website, instead of a place to donate money, they find a place specifically made to upload more cat videos on, allowing cats to steal a chunk of the internet, taking it away from the Virus.
Action 2: Kit resumes his Catjitzu posture. He grabs his keyboard and mouse and heads toward the fortress. He then starts messing around with his mouse, which this time causes the appearance of the I-beam. Kit places the I-beam just in front (to the right) of the fortress and left clicks, anchoring it in place. Kit then turns over to his keyboard and starts spamming backspace, trying to get rid of the fortress wall.

Summoning Cat God: 7/30

Awww, poor Kit-people all over the internet are uploading cat videos, and The Virus is perplexed, As the cat videos manage to remove 6 percent of the corruption, because people are flooding the forum with them!
The Fortress is too well constructed, and well coded, to be able to completely remove part of it like that! You do, however manage to cause 5 points worth of damage to the wall!

Actions 1 and 2: cmon

(8/10 code created)

Action 3:
1.e4

“There. Your move. I know it’s the most common, but it’s interesting fighting a new opponent.”

(BTW, so that we can speed this up, please auto play it, you can decide who wins this round.)

Hours are spent on this magnificent chess game too wonderful to be properly described here, with The Virus constantly calculating moves, improving it’s data when it makes a mistake, and accounting for lapses in human logic. It’s a tough game, and you very nearly win, but the Virus is able to calculate the perfect move, and manages to mate you!

It lets out another distorted, electronic laugh, and expels you from the fortress!

(Origin Penetration: 4/10)

(Action 3)

Sam refactors the code of the Scout Team's avatars, deleting some of the Virus's corruption. This functionally acts as a heal.

You manage to remove a large portion of the corruption, but it’s far too deep to be completely scrubbed. Every member of the Scout Team is healed of 7 damage.

Action I) The dragon plays an addictive song: all in the radius may be distracted this turn.

(Action II) The dragon dances (badly) to the music.

(Charge 6/30)

The Mites are out causing mischief on the Battlefield, but they suddenly hear a song they can’t get out of their heads, and rush to the origin! They start dancing along with the dragon, just as badly as it is! Man, they’re really getting into it!

The Battlefield:
The Heisenberg Processor has finally finished its charge, and begins it’s attack on the Virus! At first, it simply seems to disappear, as a golden aura of light envelopes it and sucks it into a single orb, but suddenly the orb transformed-from a simple ocular orb, to a golden beam! The beam begins swirling through the battlefield, catching the attention of everyone around, before it finally reaches the Viral Fortress! It slams into the wall o the Fortress, simply phasing through the defenses, and then hits it’s target directly and efficiently, and does significant damage to the Virus!

The Virus lets out an ear rupturing screech of digital anger, as it begins furiously adapting itself, preventing the Processor from being used again, but the damage is still done! The Virus loses 10 HP, and the Heisenberg Processor is removed from the battlefield!
Virus Health: 76/100
CORRUPTION: 38%
Scout Team: 53-25-55-37-57-58
Viral Fortress [PV]: 82/90
Mites: 3-3-3-3-3 (Distracted by music)