Has anyone here ever been kidnapped by aliens

look i won't get into specifics. let's say i know a guy who knows a guy. and you didn't hear this from me. but basically, way i heard it, and you're not gonna believe this. sometimes i'm not sure i do either. but, and, i need you to believe me, because this is the truth. but i heard this from a reliable source: and you're gonna flip your lid when you hear this, i swear, but get a load of this (straight from the horses mouth)

we're the aliens. now i'm not gonna elaborate on that. i'm not gonna hash it out. i said it and i gotta go. but basically, and i need you to listen to this, because it's very important, but basically, we've been the aliens this whole time. old guys left shop. did a full human replacement. fucked up, but true. anyway, i gotta get out of here. you didn't hear this from me. and i'm talking about a 1:1 operation here. no more humans. we're the aliens. alright. buh bye now. seeya soon

this genuinely hurt to read, and i appreciate it