Destroy the Godmodder: MSPAradox (Test Session)

The Giant Stone Middle Finger glares at the Simumodder. The Simumodder suddenly is hit in the face by a bird that flips into existence, where it explodes in a explosion of Lesser Stone Middle Fingers, which fly everywhere.
I use my next two actions to charge if I can.
CP: 2

A disembodied voice speaks into your mind.
CHARGING HAS NOT BEEN ENABLED YET... BUT CONSIDERING THE CURRENT COURSE OF THE SIMULATION, IT WILL BE. REGARDLESS, YOUR ATTACK WILL BE TREATED AS FOCUSED.

The Simumodder effortlessly dodges the bird! However, he has more difficulty dodging the Lesser Stone Middle Fingers...

Well, If this is a simulation, then the Simumodder must be some type of Ai or some such...

I tell the Simumodder every Paradox that has ever been written. I also attempt to invoke nihilism by making it realize it’s lack of true existence.

Thanks to his fuzzy logic programming, the Simumodder is immune to paradoxes! In addition, he follows an existentialist philosophy that allows him to be at peace with his lack of true existence! However, thinking about this does distract him a tiny bit...

FOCUS (all 3 actions toward this damage attempt)

I point out that the NOOB is not me.

I prove this by grabbing the NOOB and swinging him around by his feet, then hurling him at the Simumodder.

That hoe'd patch of soil is still right under the Simumodder as of this action. While he's dealing with the NOOB, I sneak up behind him and plant some magic beans there, then apply Minecraft bone meal to the soil.

This results in a giant beanstalk growing into the same space the Simumodder is occupying within an instant. However this turns out, it won't be pretty.

Even while distracted by the cloud of Lesser Stone Middle Fingers and deep philosophical questions, the Simumodder blocks the NOOB with his Infinity +1 Shield. However, in the confusion, he fails to notice your sneaky action... and gets stabbed in the chest by a humble beanstalk. 1 damage to the Simumodder!

Simumodder: ...
Simumodder: What the hell?!
Simumodder: That was supposed to be an easy dodge!

However, before he can continue, he is interrupted by a familiar disembodied voice.

SIMUMODDER DAMAGE DETECTED. PROCEEDING TO PHASE 2 OF SIMULATION
INITIALIZING ENTITY MODULE...
INITIALIZING CHARGE MODULE...
TOGGLING ACTIVE CHARGES TO ON...
PHASE 2... BEGIN.

Suddenly, you feel a new power flow through you... and also, through the Simumodder (New rules in a post to follow).

Simumodder: Heh. Just wait until next turn, punks.

To fill the time, the Simumodder summons 100 Dersite Pawns to distract the Descendants!

Battlefield:

Dersite Pawns (x100): [PG] HP: 100/100
Simumodder: [GM] HV: 9/10

KeepOnRolling: [AG-P] HV: 14/20 Dodge: 50%
Karpinsky: [AG-P] HV: 20/20 Dodge: 50%
FlamingFlapjacks: [AG-P] HV: 20/20 Dodge: 50%

(As a note, the Dodge values on the players are only used to determine if NPC entities attack them. Simumodder attacks are handled by GM fiat.)