Delete the Virus

I tell the Virus that this sentence is false.
I then kick it with my fist.
The Beginning of Something Really Excellent 1/5

The Virus, rather than focusing solely on attempting to calculate the paradox you’ve given it, creates a subroutine to do it, and continues focusing on its main goal.
It then creates a miniature firewall in front of itself right before you “fistkick” it, blocking the attack!

A cat jumps through a wall of code and meows. As it meows, a text bubble appears next to it.
"Hi, I am Kit the Kat. I am here to retain my control over the interwebs. Mwahahahahaha!"
Kit then rolls onto his back (yes, he) and just looks cute.
Action 1: Kit pulls out a keyboard and starts typing around. It looks like he's playing on a piano, but he's actually doing something. Suddenly, a computer mouse appears right next to Kit. After trying to eat it for a few seconds, he starts nudging it with his head. As he does this, a pointer randomly appears. Kit keeps nudging it until it's right in front of the nearest virus piece. Kit then, somehow, right clicks it and then has the pointer go over to undo. Kit then left clicks, undoing the virus chunk. Technically, this only fuses it with another virus piece, but less things to shoot at helps.
Action 2: Kit meows:"Now, as my first second order of business, I need to upgrade my cat powers." Kit keeps messing with his keyboard and mouse ends up pulling up a search browser. In it, Kit types "Ninja Cat". Suddenly, thousands of windows appear around Kit, filled with ninja cat videos. He slowly absorbs all of the information, learning to be the true Ninja Cat.
Summoning Cat God: 1/30

The Virus looks on in confusion to the new interloper, before confusion turns to anger at another obstacle in its goal!

The Virus Pieces, when fused, cancel each other out, causing them to be destroyed and slightly reducing corruption!

Kit begins learning the arts Catjitzu, which is....useful? I guess?

2:20 AM, NATO Cyber Defense Center of Excellence

"Any updates on the situation?"
"So far, the Virus has only penetrated low-hanging fruit, so to speak. Websites that have little-to-no protection against cyberattacks. It's made its current base of operations in some kind of... roleplaying forum hosted in America that is one such low-hanging fruit. However, we suspect that it will use its position to launch cyberattacks on more secure websites."
"How are the counterattack efforts going?"
"Sir, this Virus is unprecedented in the history of cyberspace. It's almost like a distributed artificial intelligence, able to adapt and alter its code with human-like sophistication. We've tried the usual countermeasures: quarantines, DDOS attacks, dark web nests, but the Virus always finds a way around them. Before we can launch an effective counterattack, we need to study the nature of the Virus more closely."
"Very well. Sam, lead a team of IT experts into Cyberspace where the Virus is operating. We need you to scout the nature of the Virus and its corruption of the Internet. To carry out this mission, we are giving you access to our state-of-the-art quantum encrypted secure channels that will protect this operation."
"Well, thank you, sir!"
"Goodbye, Sam, and good luck."

(Action 1)
In the heart of a NATO Installation in the former Soviet Republic of Estonia, a quantum-encrypted channel connects to the Internet. It accesses the Tor network, creating a chain of darkweb nodes that will make any attempt at tracing it rather difficult. Then, it finally penetrates the obscure forum known as Eagle Time.

(Action 2)
A scout team of IT experts emerges on the Battlefield, led by a dark-haired man wearing a pair of virtual sunglasses and looks to be in his early thirties.
"Incredible... the Virus has somehow created an entire virtual world out of a mere forum!"
"Alright, now that we're here, we need to get to work. I'll try to counteract the Virus while you begin examining it and the forum."

The Scout Team begins to analyze the nature of the Battlefield, searching through the logs of the Eagle Time forum to track down the Virus's origin server. The first two actions were spent on summoning the Scout Team as an entity. Sam is my PC, and they are both Anti-Viral. As the Scout Team is composed of human operators, they are resistant to corruption.

(Action 3)
Sam turns to the glitchy, sinister mess that comprises the Virus's representation on the Battlefield. He points to the ground around him. Suddenly, a number of virtual nodes materialize in the direction of his pointing. The nodes link to a mainframe computer back at the base. The mainframe then begins monitoring the situation. If the Virus moves against the Scout Team, the mainframe will use the nodes to launch a DDOS attack against the Virus, blocking its attack. This functions as a one-shot shield that will protect the Scout Team from attack, not as a summon.

Meanwhile...

A general stands in a conference room. On the screen ahead of him lies several people, all of whom appear to be in important positions.

"How quickly can we activate Project FAITH?"
"The program is still quite deficient in adaptability and is therefore not currently suited for deployment against the Virus. However, studying the Virus's sapience may allow us to bestow a similar intelligence upon our program. This makes your scouting efforts even more critical to our efforts. We will be focusing on laying the groundwork for the activation of FAITH."
"Now, while some of you may have some reservations about Project FAITH, I currently see it as the only practical way to counter the Virus. With this technology, we will defeat this enemy and save the Internet from destruction. I will present a status update later. For now, goodbye."

Scout Team added! There will be 6 of them, each with 70 HP.

The Virus will now be unable to directly attack the Scout Team without being blocked at first by the DDOS Attack , or the attack is deactivated.

A bird with Suspiciously/Ambiguously Birdlike Bird Arms of Bird Bumbling swoops in, so as to wreak havoc in alliance with the Virus. (Action 1)

For it's first order of business, it begins to fabricate a fortress, so as to allow the Virus to exert its will from the safety of a safe spot. (Action 2) (1/5)

It then produces a flamethrower, fire-walling in the Scout Team, disallowing them to see anything or move outside of it. (Action 3)

(For clarification, you didn’t need to use the action to introduce your character)

The Virus at first is pissed that another intruder has interrupted it, but is soon satisfied to learn that this new interloper is on its side!

You begin charging the fortress! When it is finished, it will defend the Virus from attacks until is destroyed, and increase corruption. However due to the low charge time, it’s Health will be relatively low, around the same as the Scout Teams.

The Scout Team has been fire-walled in! It will be stunned for this turn and the next, and will not be able to attack the Virus.

Action 1: Booting up the latest edition of Doors99. This may take a while.
(+1 Charge/Boot-progress, 0/30 -> 1/30)
Action 2: Reading Hackermans guide to programming to pass the time. Exciting!.. But not very helpful.
Action 3: Attempting to hollywood hack some chaff programs via the already booted Doors95.

Your attempt to Hollywood hack fails, because all programs related to The Virus have Hollywood Encryption! It’s constantly changing, meaning cracking it is nigh impossible!

The first action: A dragon swoops downward, eyes burning like matchsticks, illuminating the area. Who dares threaten this domain, in which she shares her hoard of art for all to see?
[Image: 1wtzLPV.jpg]
...oh. It appears I grabbed the wrong dragon. Ah well, too late to change that.

A second action: The Marshmallow-Dragon uses Nihilism!
"look at you, you're not even real. you're corrupting a fake internet just for the amusement of those watching from the real one. even I am stuck fighting you, for I am being controlled by a nerd at a computer. the words I speak and the actions I do? they are mere letters on a screen that I cannot even see. and so are yours."

Final action: A small flickering noise can be heard, and is just as quickly extinguished. (Charge Progress 1/30)

The Virus is confused by your statement, and attempts to create another subroutine to calcuate it, but doing so would take up too much processing power, forcing it to calculate it directly! The Virus will now be stunned for the next turn!

The Battlefield
Virus Health: 100/100
CORRUPTION: 21%
Scout Team: 70-70-70-70-70-70