Re: Write-Off!
09-17-2011, 01:27 PM
Guy's done with his.
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SpoilerArachnus gently pressed a tarsus against the button for floor six, and the elevator began its slow descent. Xzkzpykian, she knew, was a close friend of Intermo; seeing as he worked outside the office, the two got to speak almost every day.
Floor five, customer service.
Metropolis City's tremendous skyscrapers slowly sank past the glass elevator's exterior. Arachnus fidgeted, her eight eyes darting from side to side. This is a terrible idea. I should stop right now.
Floor six, accounting...
The steel doors slid open, and the spider hesitated for just a moment before skittering out and heading to Xzkz's cubicle. The green-skinned accountant was right at work, one eye and pair of hands editing a spread sheet while the others were engrossed in Death of a Salesman. "Ah, hello there, Ara. What's new?"
Arachnus contorted her mandibles in what Xzkz recognized as an attempt at smiling. "Well, you know Intermo?"
The martian paused for a moment before answering. "Yes, seeing as I spend lunch break with him every day. Why do you ask?"
The spider coughed. "Well, actually... I'd kind of like to go on a date with him. Do you have any advice?"
Xzkz's jaw dislocated, forcing her to readjust it. "Why would you want to date a dumpster?" Of course I know, because inside that metal and trash-filled exterior beats a warm, loving heart... a heart that snuffs out lives daily, yet always regrets doing so... "Never mind. I'll call you about it later, alright? I have to get back to work."
Arachnus smiled. "Thanks, Xzkzpykian." Quickly, the bug skittered back into the elevator.
After she was gone without a trace, the accountant raised an eyebrow and smiled. One hour to lunch. Let's make it count.
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The noon sun glinted of Intermo's green surface. The holographic face on the side of the dumpster gaped in shock as he viewed the pictures of the latest jewelry heists-- a trace of spider silk in the corner, a silhouette of a two-segmented body disappearing out the door. "This is... impossible... I never thought Arachnus could be a criminal..."
Inwardly, Xzkz smiled. Of course, it took away time from both work and memorizing Ben's short monologue, but having both sides of his brain work on separate photoshop images was enough to easily destroy her competition. Arachnus was a friend, yes-- but if that friend was going to threaten her own chances with Intermo, that was just too bad. "Neither could I, but it's never who you expect, you know? Same thing with serial killers."
Intermo frowned. "Funny you should mention that... Xzkzpykian, I should have told you by now, but... I'm the Black Avenger."
Xzkz went pink. "W-wait, the black avenger? The one that stomps on people's grandmas and runs over their dog, but always sends a condolence card?"
If dumpsters had heads, this one would have nodded sadly. "And now I have to go... kill my best friend." He pressed a button on his side, and instantly, eight massive black legs shot out. Black armor plating coated Intermo's "torso", and massive turrets quickly sprouted from all over. Slowly, The Black Avenger headed off, as his best friend ran after, his shouts that he was just lying not getting through.
Xzkz began pacing. "Fuck. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck." He quickly whipped out a cell phone and called Arachnus.
"Yo, Xzkz! Any advice for me yet?"
"No, listen, there's a problem. I made a really stupid mistake. Meet me at the airship station in ten minutes."
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As massive as the Black Avenger was, he had been going in the wrong direction; Arachnus had not gone home after visiting the building. The spider and the martian arrived at the airship station, a massive chrome edifice blindingly reflecting the sunset, but soon found themselves held up by security. Jovian terrorists had been a problem, of late; the security people lumped in Xzkz, and by the time they managed to actually get to the terminal at the top of the building, it was too late.
Suddenly, the whine of a tremendous object approaching from the sky, slowly getting higher-pitched as it approached, became apparent. Once again, Xzkz blanched; but Arachnus only smiled strangely. "Ah, the Black Avenger..."
As Intermo landed with a massive quake, Arachnus jumped into the sky and pulled out a tremendous sword covered in bloodstains; upon landing, she rushed forward, easily slashing through the adamantium of the Black Avenger's legs. The vigilante stumbled, desperately screaming for reinforcements; but all the other supers were too busy embroiled in their own conflicts, many meaningless, at the time. With no other option, Intermo disengaged his power armor and fell to the roof.
Arachnus frowned and stabbed the sword into the roof of the station. "Well. I'm glad we solved that little dispute. I had no idea you were the Black Avenger, Intermo. But now I figure it's a good time to ask--"
Two legs once again sprouted out of the dumpster's back, one reaching inside and grabbing the skeleton of a swordfish, the other vaulting him forward towards the spider. "Here's something else you didn't know, criminal! How dare you betray my trust!"
Before she knew what she was doing, Xzkz had jumped between the two. After a moment, Arachnus stepped back, laughing. The martian was bleeding out, her eyes rolling back in her head.
Intermo quickly withdrew his fish. "Xzkzpykian, hang in there!" The martian merely smiled softly. "I l-lov'd Intermo; forty thousand sisters could not, with all their quantity of love, m-make... up..."
The martian turned pink, then blue, then finally white before slumping to the ground. Intermo screamed to the skies as Arachnus cackled.
"You remember, don't you, Avenger? It was thirty years ago today. My mother was poor, and had to steal to feed us. So you killed her. Shall I call you Inspector Javert?"
Intermo's face could simulate crying much better than nodding. "You bastard... you know that was her favorite musical..."
The spider simply continued laughing. "Ah, poor Xzkzpykian! You shall die, that everyone else shall do the same!" The sky slowly turned blood red as Arachnus danced, pairs of legs forming into one each, a coating of fur slowly enveloping her body, and so forth-- but mandibles staying the same-- as she slowly grew larger and larger, until finally she was a tremendous wombat, covered in spikes and crystals which shined in the scarlet of the sky.
Arachnus stomped at Intermo, who barely vaulted away before half of the roof of the airport came crumbling down. A booming voice rang out with the words "There's a grief that can't be spoken, there's a pain goes on and on..."
The dumpster once again attempted to stab Arachnus, but her thick black pelt deflected it. The only way in is the eye... Once again, Arachnus' foot stomped down, sending Intermo crashing down into the rubble of the station. "HERE THEY TALKED OF REVOLUTION! HERE IT WAS THEY LIT THE FLAME! HERE THEY SANG ABOUT TOMORROW!"
Slowly, the former spider lowered its face to the ground, grinning widely with its mouth of ten-foot-tall razor-sharp teeth. "And tomorrow... never..."
The dumpster, in one last desperate bid, threw its swordfish at Arachnus' left eye. Realizing what happened to late to react, the wombat was barely able to squeak out a "came" before screaming in agony, blood spouting everywhere. She rapidly began to decay, first her hind legs skeletonizing, then her torso, and so forth, until all that remained was a pile of dust and one last eye.
Intermo drove his fish into this eye as well, with such force it threw open his lid. Some of the demonic essence flew in, but Intermo didn't care. He simply left his fish where it lay, closed up, and waited for sunrise.
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This is the ten o'clock news. Today's top story: A lone wombat-- larger than most, about the size of a dumpster-- was seen leaving the Metropolis City airship station at 10:00 this morning. No other survivors were found, and the scene was utterly devastated. Hopefully next time... our heroes can save us. We go now to on-the-spot reporter Patricia Pauling for more. Patricia?
Floor five, customer service.
Metropolis City's tremendous skyscrapers slowly sank past the glass elevator's exterior. Arachnus fidgeted, her eight eyes darting from side to side. This is a terrible idea. I should stop right now.
Floor six, accounting...
The steel doors slid open, and the spider hesitated for just a moment before skittering out and heading to Xzkz's cubicle. The green-skinned accountant was right at work, one eye and pair of hands editing a spread sheet while the others were engrossed in Death of a Salesman. "Ah, hello there, Ara. What's new?"
Arachnus contorted her mandibles in what Xzkz recognized as an attempt at smiling. "Well, you know Intermo?"
The martian paused for a moment before answering. "Yes, seeing as I spend lunch break with him every day. Why do you ask?"
The spider coughed. "Well, actually... I'd kind of like to go on a date with him. Do you have any advice?"
Xzkz's jaw dislocated, forcing her to readjust it. "Why would you want to date a dumpster?" Of course I know, because inside that metal and trash-filled exterior beats a warm, loving heart... a heart that snuffs out lives daily, yet always regrets doing so... "Never mind. I'll call you about it later, alright? I have to get back to work."
Arachnus smiled. "Thanks, Xzkzpykian." Quickly, the bug skittered back into the elevator.
After she was gone without a trace, the accountant raised an eyebrow and smiled. One hour to lunch. Let's make it count.
------------------------------------------------------
The noon sun glinted of Intermo's green surface. The holographic face on the side of the dumpster gaped in shock as he viewed the pictures of the latest jewelry heists-- a trace of spider silk in the corner, a silhouette of a two-segmented body disappearing out the door. "This is... impossible... I never thought Arachnus could be a criminal..."
Inwardly, Xzkz smiled. Of course, it took away time from both work and memorizing Ben's short monologue, but having both sides of his brain work on separate photoshop images was enough to easily destroy her competition. Arachnus was a friend, yes-- but if that friend was going to threaten her own chances with Intermo, that was just too bad. "Neither could I, but it's never who you expect, you know? Same thing with serial killers."
Intermo frowned. "Funny you should mention that... Xzkzpykian, I should have told you by now, but... I'm the Black Avenger."
Xzkz went pink. "W-wait, the black avenger? The one that stomps on people's grandmas and runs over their dog, but always sends a condolence card?"
If dumpsters had heads, this one would have nodded sadly. "And now I have to go... kill my best friend." He pressed a button on his side, and instantly, eight massive black legs shot out. Black armor plating coated Intermo's "torso", and massive turrets quickly sprouted from all over. Slowly, The Black Avenger headed off, as his best friend ran after, his shouts that he was just lying not getting through.
Xzkz began pacing. "Fuck. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck." He quickly whipped out a cell phone and called Arachnus.
"Yo, Xzkz! Any advice for me yet?"
"No, listen, there's a problem. I made a really stupid mistake. Meet me at the airship station in ten minutes."
------------------------------------------------------
As massive as the Black Avenger was, he had been going in the wrong direction; Arachnus had not gone home after visiting the building. The spider and the martian arrived at the airship station, a massive chrome edifice blindingly reflecting the sunset, but soon found themselves held up by security. Jovian terrorists had been a problem, of late; the security people lumped in Xzkz, and by the time they managed to actually get to the terminal at the top of the building, it was too late.
Suddenly, the whine of a tremendous object approaching from the sky, slowly getting higher-pitched as it approached, became apparent. Once again, Xzkz blanched; but Arachnus only smiled strangely. "Ah, the Black Avenger..."
As Intermo landed with a massive quake, Arachnus jumped into the sky and pulled out a tremendous sword covered in bloodstains; upon landing, she rushed forward, easily slashing through the adamantium of the Black Avenger's legs. The vigilante stumbled, desperately screaming for reinforcements; but all the other supers were too busy embroiled in their own conflicts, many meaningless, at the time. With no other option, Intermo disengaged his power armor and fell to the roof.
Arachnus frowned and stabbed the sword into the roof of the station. "Well. I'm glad we solved that little dispute. I had no idea you were the Black Avenger, Intermo. But now I figure it's a good time to ask--"
Two legs once again sprouted out of the dumpster's back, one reaching inside and grabbing the skeleton of a swordfish, the other vaulting him forward towards the spider. "Here's something else you didn't know, criminal! How dare you betray my trust!"
Before she knew what she was doing, Xzkz had jumped between the two. After a moment, Arachnus stepped back, laughing. The martian was bleeding out, her eyes rolling back in her head.
Intermo quickly withdrew his fish. "Xzkzpykian, hang in there!" The martian merely smiled softly. "I l-lov'd Intermo; forty thousand sisters could not, with all their quantity of love, m-make... up..."
The martian turned pink, then blue, then finally white before slumping to the ground. Intermo screamed to the skies as Arachnus cackled.
"You remember, don't you, Avenger? It was thirty years ago today. My mother was poor, and had to steal to feed us. So you killed her. Shall I call you Inspector Javert?"
Intermo's face could simulate crying much better than nodding. "You bastard... you know that was her favorite musical..."
The spider simply continued laughing. "Ah, poor Xzkzpykian! You shall die, that everyone else shall do the same!" The sky slowly turned blood red as Arachnus danced, pairs of legs forming into one each, a coating of fur slowly enveloping her body, and so forth-- but mandibles staying the same-- as she slowly grew larger and larger, until finally she was a tremendous wombat, covered in spikes and crystals which shined in the scarlet of the sky.
Arachnus stomped at Intermo, who barely vaulted away before half of the roof of the airport came crumbling down. A booming voice rang out with the words "There's a grief that can't be spoken, there's a pain goes on and on..."
The dumpster once again attempted to stab Arachnus, but her thick black pelt deflected it. The only way in is the eye... Once again, Arachnus' foot stomped down, sending Intermo crashing down into the rubble of the station. "HERE THEY TALKED OF REVOLUTION! HERE IT WAS THEY LIT THE FLAME! HERE THEY SANG ABOUT TOMORROW!"
Slowly, the former spider lowered its face to the ground, grinning widely with its mouth of ten-foot-tall razor-sharp teeth. "And tomorrow... never..."
The dumpster, in one last desperate bid, threw its swordfish at Arachnus' left eye. Realizing what happened to late to react, the wombat was barely able to squeak out a "came" before screaming in agony, blood spouting everywhere. She rapidly began to decay, first her hind legs skeletonizing, then her torso, and so forth, until all that remained was a pile of dust and one last eye.
Intermo drove his fish into this eye as well, with such force it threw open his lid. Some of the demonic essence flew in, but Intermo didn't care. He simply left his fish where it lay, closed up, and waited for sunrise.
------------------------------------------------------
This is the ten o'clock news. Today's top story: A lone wombat-- larger than most, about the size of a dumpster-- was seen leaving the Metropolis City airship station at 10:00 this morning. No other survivors were found, and the scene was utterly devastated. Hopefully next time... our heroes can save us. We go now to on-the-spot reporter Patricia Pauling for more. Patricia?