Consistency

Stare down the behemoth to give your buddy some time.

You're not exactly sure how looking down from this giant's shoulder is a stalling tactic, but you don't have any better ideas. You look down... down... down...

Wow, this thing's even taller than you realized. You're starting to feel dizzy. Maybe you should lie down or something.

Except, you're still in the middle of a battlefield here. Where exactly are you going to get a chance to clear your head?

Unleash the Krakenaoke

Yeah, this leash isn't helping you keep your Krakenaoke under control at all, it's just getting you dragged along in its mess. You really should just take it off.

But you're going to have a tough time getting close enough to undo the collar until you calm it down. How exactly are you going to do that?

Ignore me.

Dammit, what kind of adventure is this? Nobody's made any suggestions! What are you supposed to do, come up with a course of action on your own? That's ridiculous, you're just an ill-defined fictional character! You can't think for yourself!

The only thing you can do is make your adventure more popular so you get more suggestions. How are you going to do that?

Damn. That thing moves fast.

It's only been twenty-one minutes and the AgentBlue has already made its way through your false trail! At this rate, it's going to find you in... oh, about three seconds ago.

Well, damn. Now you're in for it. You can't possibly defeat the AgentBlue in a straight fight. How are you going to get out of this mess?

I WILL NOT BE IGNORED

Damn straight! You didn't start the Cult Of The All-Seeing I just so nobody could join it! You're going to get people in your cult no matter what it takes!

So what are you going to do to promote the All-Seeing I and its glorious teachings?

Presto, read the Communist Manifesto

Yes, that's the key to saving this show!
You'll have to display just what you know!
So what if that other circus has sharks?
Who do they have who can recite Marx?

The curtain has risen, the show will begin,
The accolades are yours to win!
You give the audience a confident look,
And then produce your chosen book.

A few minutes later, something is wrong;
You never realized this book was so long!
The crowd's getting restless and bored,
You daren't think about how you'll be scored.

You'll need to come with a new act, and quick,
It's a good think your acting's so slick.
But how will you get their attention anew
When the crowd seems to be so tired of you?

Alakazam, read Green Eggs and Ham.

Read a children's book? Honestly, what an absurd idea. You're a mature Pokemon, capable of tackling a much more challenging tome than this.

Besides, you hardly have time to read when you're in the middle of a battle. You don't especially care for this barbarism, but it amuses the humans.

Now how about some practical advice for defeating this Spiritomb, thank you very much?

You wake up and find yourself in a room. You do not remember who you are. There is a door to your left; it is locked.

What will you do?

Yes! This should be a good start to your new book. And there aren't even any definite articles in it, so Big Johnny should stop breathing down your neck.

Now all you need to do is... wait. Wait. Wait.

Dammit, it's been done before!

Well, now you need a new idea for a book, and fast. Big Johnny doesn't like to be kept waiting. What are you going to do?

You don't care much for getting autobiographical - or is it recursive? - but you don't have a lot of other ideas. It's a start, anyhow. And you've still managed to avoid definite articles!

Unfortunately, that's as far as you've gotten. Where exactly are you going to go from here?

SpoilerShow

You wake up and find yourself in a room. You do not remember who you are. There is a door to your left; it is locked.

What will you do?

Yes! This should be a good start to your new book. And there aren't even any definite articles in it, so Big Johnny should stop breathing down your neck.

Now all you need to do is... wait. Wait. Wait.

Dammit, it's been done before!

Well, now you need a new idea for a book, and fast. Big Johnny doesn't like to be kept waiting. What are you going to do?

It's all been done before, nothing new under the sun

All been done before

All been done before

Goddammit, now it's personal. It's one thing for Big Johnny to hire this talentless hack, but now the hack's stealing one of your old stories from back in your writing days.

It's funny how life imitates art, isn't it? You never dreamed when you wrote about a hack writer working for a mobster named Big Johnny that one day you'd be playing the part of the courageous detective who saved the day.

If anything, you figured you'd be the hack writer. But nope, you're Myron Bell, Private Eye. And you've got to stop this book from going to press.

Now how are you going to do that?

SpoilerShow

You wake up and find yourself in a room. You do not remember who you are. There is a door to your left; it is locked.

What will you do?

Yes! This should be a good start to your new book. And there aren't even any definite articles in it, so Big Johnny should stop breathing down your neck.

Now all you need to do is... wait. Wait. Wait.

Dammit, it's been done before!

Well, now you need a new idea for a book, and fast. Big Johnny doesn't like to be kept waiting. What are you going to do?

It's all been done before, nothing new under the sun

All been done before

All been done before

(Woo-hoo hoo) It's all been done

(Woo-hoo hoo) It's all been done

(Woo-hoo hoo) It's all been done before

Yeah, this a good theme song for your new show about Myron Bell, the private eye who investigates cases that coincidentally match up with stories he wrote when he was a teenager.

You're just about ready to send off your script for the pilot episode, but there's just one thing: you don't have an ending yet.

How are you going to resolve this storyline without diminishing Big Johnny too much as an antagonist? He's going to be in a lot more episodes, after all.

vot vot? wilk milk.

You press the VOT, VOT?, WILK, and MILK buttons in order. The vending machine beeps a few times, then suddenly sprays milk all over you.

You aren't sure if you should note this on your QA report, though, because for all you know it's supposed to do that. What are you going to say here?