RE: "Seriously brain, what the hell?" A Thread For Weird Dreams and Nightmares
11-02-2018, 09:00 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-02-2018, 09:01 PM by Crowstone.)
Our Lady of Lampreys!! What a coincidence! I just popped in to write another dream down and you had just commented on a long time ago!! I appreciate the comments :3 Also my dreams aren't really vivid... I just use creative license in order to take the details i can remember and weave them into a story that is relatively coherent compared to what dreams are actually like.
Anyway here we go:
It's my first day on the job as a teacher! I'm... an english teacher??? bUT THAT'S MY LEAST FAVORITE SUBJECT
At least tthe previous teacher is here to help. "So the class is sttarting the next book to read, it's the adventures of tom sawyer. ALL of aadventure of ttom sawyre, that's like three books in the series."
one of the kids is like " oh i already have... The ACE adventure of tom sawyer" and old teacher says NO WTF ACE adventures, THAT GOES IN THE TRASH!!!! *throws it into ttrash* You see, the ace adventures edition is for babies. It completetly changes the story to make it more appropriate for children. But you are in middle school now so you have to read the true story. OK bye now i leave you with your new teacher Timu"
I say "Oh, Okay bye, old teacher. Now, everyone who has an Ace edition... throw it away right now!" But some kids were harboring their ace editions, so i had to be a mean teacher and snatch them away from them. and THROW THEM IN THE TRASH.
Alright now let's actually start reading the true edition of the Adventure of Tom Sawyer.
Book 1: Tom Sawyer, a 30 someone man from the 1800s town of prairieville is married to Aubrey Plaza. At a town meeting, a demonic voice denounces Christianity and so Aubrey Plaza is sent to jail and dies. Many years pass, audio recording of the town meeting is reviewed, which reveals that that demonic voice was definitely not Aubrey Plaza. They sound completely different. Aubrey Plaza is exonerated and Tom goes to her grave to resurrect her. She seems fine, but she is still possessed by a variety of demonic spirits who occasionally take over her body and use her psychic powers to wreck havoc on Prairieville. In the end, she has to be killed again.
Book 2: Tom Sawyer has lost his memory and is unaware of what happened last time his wife was alive. He digs up his dead wife, Aubrey Plaza, and brings her back to life. But she's still got demons taking over her body every now and then, turning people into statues and shattering them, creating deformed little goblin children and unleashing them on the country. She even kills Benedict Cumberbatch.
By the way, when I'm saying these actor names it's because Tom Sawyer was made into a series of movies and so Aubrey Plaza and Bendycat Pumpkinpatch aren't actually characters in tom sawyer.... Anyways in the end, Aubrey Plaza dies again.
Book 3: Tom Sawyer retains his memory, and despite knowing how this NEVER works out, he DOES IT AGAIN. AUBREY PLAZA, BROUGHT BACK FROM THE GRAVE, AND STILL HARBORING DARK ENTITIES. Opening a portal to space in the middle of the interstate, and causing everyone's computers to explode. a real damn hassle. This time, they have to hang christmas lights on the palm trees in such a way that she's trapped in a ring of lights and can be vanquished by holy magic.
I'm sick of these stupid books. Why is Tom Sawyer so stupid. Oh i'll just bring my wife back to life, because i never learn and I justt miss her so much
Class dismissed early. I'm going home. I hate teaching english, especially about a book-made-into-movie series as ridiciulous as Tom Sawyer. Maybe I won't come back tomorrow. But first i gotta get to my car. But the school parking lot is the absolute worst. Three miles long, and all my stuff is WAY too heavy. And just before I reach my car, i get a call from someone telling me that a student needs help getting something out of a vending machine. West Townsville? No no, I teach at North Townsville. You got the wrong number. Except I notice that there's a guy walking near me on his phone and he's the one i've been talking to. I look back at the school. WEST TOWNSVILLE. Dang it, not only did i forget which school i ttaught at, but my boss is like right here and expects me to go back and fix the vending machines outside my classroom.
So I go allll the way back and turns out the vending machine is fine, the kid just didn't know what snack to get. "JUST PICK SOMETHING GOD WHY DO I HAVE TO HELP YOU CHOOSE" "AND WHY DO YOU HAVE AN ACE ADVENTURES *THROW IT IN THE TRASH* but the kid won't give me the ace adventures edition and I have to get into an anime battle with her and destroy half the school. Finally I go back to my car except I forgot where i left it so i have wandered the enormous parking lot and finally get to my car but there's all these cars in the way and people stepping out in front of you and it's just a nightmare
I enlist some local nerds to hack the school systems so that I'm a math teacher instead. The end.
Anyway here we go:
It's my first day on the job as a teacher! I'm... an english teacher??? bUT THAT'S MY LEAST FAVORITE SUBJECT
At least tthe previous teacher is here to help. "So the class is sttarting the next book to read, it's the adventures of tom sawyer. ALL of aadventure of ttom sawyre, that's like three books in the series."
one of the kids is like " oh i already have... The ACE adventure of tom sawyer" and old teacher says NO WTF ACE adventures, THAT GOES IN THE TRASH!!!! *throws it into ttrash* You see, the ace adventures edition is for babies. It completetly changes the story to make it more appropriate for children. But you are in middle school now so you have to read the true story. OK bye now i leave you with your new teacher Timu"
I say "Oh, Okay bye, old teacher. Now, everyone who has an Ace edition... throw it away right now!" But some kids were harboring their ace editions, so i had to be a mean teacher and snatch them away from them. and THROW THEM IN THE TRASH.
Alright now let's actually start reading the true edition of the Adventure of Tom Sawyer.
Book 1: Tom Sawyer, a 30 someone man from the 1800s town of prairieville is married to Aubrey Plaza. At a town meeting, a demonic voice denounces Christianity and so Aubrey Plaza is sent to jail and dies. Many years pass, audio recording of the town meeting is reviewed, which reveals that that demonic voice was definitely not Aubrey Plaza. They sound completely different. Aubrey Plaza is exonerated and Tom goes to her grave to resurrect her. She seems fine, but she is still possessed by a variety of demonic spirits who occasionally take over her body and use her psychic powers to wreck havoc on Prairieville. In the end, she has to be killed again.
Book 2: Tom Sawyer has lost his memory and is unaware of what happened last time his wife was alive. He digs up his dead wife, Aubrey Plaza, and brings her back to life. But she's still got demons taking over her body every now and then, turning people into statues and shattering them, creating deformed little goblin children and unleashing them on the country. She even kills Benedict Cumberbatch.
By the way, when I'm saying these actor names it's because Tom Sawyer was made into a series of movies and so Aubrey Plaza and Bendycat Pumpkinpatch aren't actually characters in tom sawyer.... Anyways in the end, Aubrey Plaza dies again.
Book 3: Tom Sawyer retains his memory, and despite knowing how this NEVER works out, he DOES IT AGAIN. AUBREY PLAZA, BROUGHT BACK FROM THE GRAVE, AND STILL HARBORING DARK ENTITIES. Opening a portal to space in the middle of the interstate, and causing everyone's computers to explode. a real damn hassle. This time, they have to hang christmas lights on the palm trees in such a way that she's trapped in a ring of lights and can be vanquished by holy magic.
I'm sick of these stupid books. Why is Tom Sawyer so stupid. Oh i'll just bring my wife back to life, because i never learn and I justt miss her so much
Class dismissed early. I'm going home. I hate teaching english, especially about a book-made-into-movie series as ridiciulous as Tom Sawyer. Maybe I won't come back tomorrow. But first i gotta get to my car. But the school parking lot is the absolute worst. Three miles long, and all my stuff is WAY too heavy. And just before I reach my car, i get a call from someone telling me that a student needs help getting something out of a vending machine. West Townsville? No no, I teach at North Townsville. You got the wrong number. Except I notice that there's a guy walking near me on his phone and he's the one i've been talking to. I look back at the school. WEST TOWNSVILLE. Dang it, not only did i forget which school i ttaught at, but my boss is like right here and expects me to go back and fix the vending machines outside my classroom.
So I go allll the way back and turns out the vending machine is fine, the kid just didn't know what snack to get. "JUST PICK SOMETHING GOD WHY DO I HAVE TO HELP YOU CHOOSE" "AND WHY DO YOU HAVE AN ACE ADVENTURES *THROW IT IN THE TRASH* but the kid won't give me the ace adventures edition and I have to get into an anime battle with her and destroy half the school. Finally I go back to my car except I forgot where i left it so i have wandered the enormous parking lot and finally get to my car but there's all these cars in the way and people stepping out in front of you and it's just a nightmare
I enlist some local nerds to hack the school systems so that I'm a math teacher instead. The end.
![[Image: egg005.png?raw=1]](https://www.dropbox.com/s/cm0pzbv31rhi5da/egg005.png?raw=1){kind=small}