Buttshit Mastermind??????????????

Nearby NURD: Wow, isn't it amazing that you got a cow for your cow-powered reality stabilizer at just that moment? And you immediately got a chance to test it, too! Isn't this your lucky day!

Not quite.

While your COW-POWERED REALITY STABILIZER did manage to isolate the BUTTSHIT SINGULARITY just before it became the dreaded BUTTSHIT RIFT, thus preventing the destruction of ALL REALITY, you unfortunately could not INSTALL THE COW fast enough to prevent the destruction of the entire UNIVERSE. The UNIVERSE now consists only of a NÜRD (YOU), a COW, this SMALL CHUNK OF LAND, a rapidly dissipating supply of BREATHABLE AIR, your REALITY STABILIZER, and the white-hot radioactive SKELETON of a man you presume was once the BUTTSHIT MASTERMIND. Some "MASTERMIND" he turned out to be.

As such, you are in a bit of a PICKLE. You are running out of AIR, and will FALL UNCONCIOUS in approximately THREE MINUTES. Most of your TITANIC SWOLLEN BRAIN has been sheared away by the destruction of the UNIVERSE, leaving you grievously injured with about TWO AND A HALF MINUTES left before you succumb to your wounds and DIE. Additionally, the MASTERMIND'S CORPSE is undergoing QUANTUM DIVISION. The RADIATION from this admittedly fascinating event will KILL you and the COW in less than ONE MINUTE.

But not all is lost. You have the BUTTSHIT SINGULARITY. The MASTERMIND may be dead, the UNIVERSE may be dead, and the HIGH GODS may be dead, but the SINGULARITY'S CREATIVE POTENTIAL lives on. With the scant few seconds of life left in your body, you can use your TELEKINETIC PROWESS to IGNITE the MYSTIKKAL ENNYRJIES and RESET EVERYTHING. A new WORLD, with new PEOPLE, new ADVENTURES, built tightly to your specifications. You could even RESURRECT THIS UNIVERSE, terrible as it was.

Fitting you think... An entire world in the hands of a NÜRD. Your SPECIES would be so proud. Too bad you won't be around to see it.

What will you do?