Buttshit Mastermind??????????????

> Jam like you’ve never jammed before!

I BEEN WAITIN' FOR THIS MOMENT, FOR AAAAWL MA LIIIIIFE. OH LAAAAWD...

... Oh lord.

You went overboard and accidentally spent 50% of your BUTTSHIT MITIGATION DEVICE's DURABILITY on another TENDRIL and a GUITAR HAND. You... You MIGHT be screwed. You are going to need to find a NÜRD. NÜRDS are good at FIXING BROKE THINGS. Maybe there are NÜRDS deeper into SUPER PÜRGATORY... er, you mean PURGATORY.

You guess you also hung up on your INSURANCE COMPANY. Whatever, screw those guys.

> Make yourself a consolatory SpaceDonald's meal with your ass.

Great idea! Though to avoid spending more DURABILITY like a DUMBASS, you instead re-purpose the ENNYRJIES in your GUITAR HAND and form them into a SPACEDONALD'S LIDDLE BOI MEAL. You wish you had a mouth big enough for something larger than a LIDDLE BOI MEAL. Unfortunately, there are some burdens that simply cannot be overcome by dint of a spacial anomaly nestled betwixt one's asscheeks.

The LIDDLE BOI MEAL is comprised of a SMALL SPACEFRIES, a SMALL SPACEBURGER, and one VON ASS BRAND REFRESHMENT TABLET (BLUE FLAVOR), and it is delicious. No toy, though. Typical.

> Expel a mere atoms-wide nanothread from your BUTTSHIT SINGULARITY.

You do so. You expel enough ENNYRJIE to form A SINGLE RASPBERRY before your DEVICE'S DURABILITY drops.

You are now at 19% DURABILITY. You should really try to find a NÜRD as soon as possible, both to fix your shit, and to maybe boost its PERFORMANCE.

You don't ever want to suffer a BUTTSHIT BREACH. If your BUTTSHIT MITIGATION DEVICE's DURABILITY ever falls to 0%... You DIE. YOU die, the SINGULARITY dies, the UNIVERSE dies, and the HIGH GODS die. And you won't go to HELL if you die that way... You'll go somewhere far WORSE, and so will EVERYONE ELSE.