The Mirdini MSPAF Mafia Memorial

THE DOMINATENING

The Assembly had returned to debate in the aforementioned boardroom with renewed vigour – new evidence being brought to light, new theories discussed. One particular member of the Assembly, however, remained silent. They had maintained that silence, bar a scant few exceptions, throughout the entire crisis, quaffing something out of a pocket flask that never seemed to leave their side. How they’d managed to remain inconspicuous enough to survive the previous five days and nights of murder, intrigue and arrests was anyone’s guess.

So when they spoke up, the entire Assembly was rather surprised – and for a fleeting period little did they know that words were the least absoluteCertainty had in mind. The man spoke calmly, almost reasonably, but his words were slurred with the casual fluidity of a raging alcoholic.

“I've hud about enough ay thes farce. Day efter day ye pansies jist sit there, moanin' about hoo th' Malcontents ur drivin' ye out ay hearth an' haem. Weel… *hic* I'll solve yer wee mystery for ye, since ye eejits ur tay glaikit tae figure anythin' out, much less kill onie one ay us.

Noo, i've bin wantin' tae dae thes since 'at pompous bampot shawed up again two days ago.”

The man pushed back his chair, stood up and stared straight into the eyes of another Assembly member – none other than Kenji Ryu – through his one good eye. The Assembly wondered why they’d never noticed the eyepatch before.

Ryu eyed absoluteCertainty warily, wondering what the man had up his sleeve.

“Och, isn’t thes a bonnie picture! Th' famoos hero tryin' tae see what's comin' next. Ah bit ye werenae expectin' THES!”
Upon his triumphant proclamation the man pulled an item out of the back pocket of his pants – what looked like an antiquated stick grenade. The Assembly broke into pandemonium.

“LOOK OUT HE’S GOT A GRENADE!”

“thanks for pointing out the obvious, moron”

“HOW’D HE EVEN GET THAT THING THROUGH CUSTOMS?”

“HE’S GOT A GRENADE OH GOD WE’RE ALL GOING TO D-“

”Everyone. Shut. Up.”

Kenji Ryu’s voice cracked like a whip, slicing through the din as everyone froze to see what the cop would do next. He’d killed two Malcontents in cold blood already, surely he had a plan.

“Now, I don’t know how you got that thing in here, but there is no way in hell I’m letting you detonate that weapon. Not even if I have to go out with you.”

“Weel, yoo're in luck then laddie, as that's whit Ah had planned in th' first place.”

“What? But if you’re truly a Malcontent, you should realize rationally a one-for-one trade isn’t a positive expected outcome for your gang. Why would you-“

“See, thass yer problem loon. Ye hink abit fancy words loch "rational" an’ “echspected ootcome”. Me? I’m just ‘ere tae blaw ‘ings up. Noo, don’t fret boyo, ah’ll be gentle!”

And before Kenji Ryu, EXCEPTIONALLY AUDACIOUS INTERPOL AGENT could react the demolitions expert charged, clobbering the cop with his Vintage Ullapool Caber and launching the two out of opposite twenty-second story windows. Neither man survived the explosion, much less the 240-foot fall to the ground.

absoluteCertainty was TAVISH DEGROOT, BLACK SCOTTISH CYCLOPS. He had come to C.J. Memorial Hospital for their renowned optometry clinic, but upon discovering that the doctors could do nothing to help him lose his second eye and live up to his REVERED DEMOMAN ANCESTRY he decided to stick around to do what he did best. Those TEUTONIC NURSEMAIDS with their HEADS FULL OF EYEBALLS wouldn’t be PRANCIN’ ABOOT when he was done with the place.
Unfortunately all of his EXPLOSIVE ORDNANCE had been confiscated in customs when he first travelled to the awful nation C.J. Memorial was located in, so he had been reduced to scavenging medical cabinets for basic explosive ingredients, which remained frustratingly hard to find. So when he was approached by the Hospital’s Administrator inquiring whether he would like to help set up a less explosive but no less deadly bomb… he initially refused. What sort of DEMOMAN would he be if you resorted to PANSY BIOLOGICAL WARFARE, after all!?

That is until she produced a certain item and promised to give it to him if he cooperated. Used to taking orders from mysterious female administrators he agreed to the plot, and proceeded to find himself in a quarantined hospital with a multitude of FINE DANDIES all waiting for his GRIM BLOODY FABLE to give ‘em an UNHAPPY BLOODY END. Hatin’ the nation’s ban on HATS of all sorts he was also the individual who stipulated the HAT CLAUSE in the Malcontent’s demands.

Once per game he could publicly CHARGE at some EEJIT SCUNNER during the day with ‘is newfound VINTAGE ULLAPOOL CABER and TAKE THEM DOWN TO THE PAIN TRAIN STATION IN PAIN TOWN. This would end the day and make it so that both he and your target would have to be glued back together – IN HELL. His DOMINATENING DEMOMAN CHARGE was absolutely unstoppable and would override any and every other effect in the game.

He would have won when the MEDICAL MALCONTENTS made up a majority of the hospital’s population and had eliminated any other threats to their nefarious goals.

Sotek was KENJI RYU, EXCEPTIONALLY AUDACIOUS INTERPOL AGENT. He’d been in in law enforcement his entire life, going from the simple beat on the streets of Tokyo to Japan’s prestigious and demanding SAT (特殊急襲部隊) to his recent (highly classified) position of INTERPOL SCUMHUNTER (at least that’s what he enjoyed calling it).

As for why he was currently stuck in a hole of a hospital like C.J. Memorial, he’d followed a PRIME SUSPECT involved in various MEDICAL DISASTERS all the way to the hospital when the Feds of decided to come barging in on his investigation with a fucking STATE OF EMERGENCY. Well, while the quarantine had certainly been inconvenient he guessed it just meant he’d have even bigger fish to fry than the MAD SCIENTIST he’d been tracking down. He was pretty sure that threatening to detonate a LETHAL BIOLOGICAL WMD was against all sorts of international laws, and he’d be damned if he’dallow any third-rate cabal of doctors and idiots to succeed in their aims. Luckily he’d brought along all your usual equipment – his Deagle, bulletproof vest, and of course his BADGE.

Any scum trying to get rid of him will be in for a WORLD OF GODDAMN PAIN. If someone had been foolish enough to try and off Kenji he would’ve employed his EXPERT TRAINING to fake his own death for the following day and night in order to make some LAST-MINUTE OBSERVATIONS – upon his return he would be INORDINATELY FURIOUS at the audacity of his enemies which would probably (and did) result in a LIBERAL APPLICATION OF TECHNICALLY ILLEGAL VIGILANTE JUSTICE with some help from his TRUSTY SIDEARM. This would be followed (and was) by a LIBERAL APPLICATION OF FLASHING HIS GODDAMN BADGE which would let him dictate who would be taken into custody by the authorities that day.

If the majority of the hospital’s occupants had decided to turn HIM over to the authorities he would have returned the following day with a CRACK TEAM OF SPECIAL FORCES, also allowing him to dictate who they would have escorted back outside on that day. However, they’d probably have asked for his bulletproof vest and then “forgotten” to return it (the law enforcement in the nation being notorious for their lack of equipment), leaving him vulnerable to the MISERABLE GANGSTERS behind the plot.
He would have won when the MEDICAL ESTABLISHMENT had successfully rooted out all threats to C.J. MEMORIAL HOSPITAL and thus ended the QUARANTINE.

He had a BONUS OBJECTIVE of FINDING HIS SUSPECT and FOILING WHATEVER FOUL PLOT THEY HADSET IN MOTION – in this, at the very least, he succeeded, garnering Sotek a BONUS WIN.

Still dazed from the explosion and slightly dumbstruck by the events of the past few minutes, the Assembly quickly adjourns to recover and think things over – the sun being rather close to setting the crowd decides not to bother with arresting anyone for the rest of the day, as the authorities would surely be satisfied with the two corpses they’d surely be scraping off the pavement.

It is now NIGHT SIX! Please have your actions in within the next 48 to 72 hours.

Livelist

1. Airey
2. Prime Intellect
3. crepuscularDissembler
4. Acionyx
5. Blueberry
6. ATH
7. Pick Yer Poison
8. SleepingOrange
9. Dragon Fogel
10. Paranoia