RE: Superego
05-02-2018, 06:29 AM
extremely good expressions in this one.
Okay, so, a fun metaphor here: Quin feels like she causes her own problems, and here she is, her, being a problem for herself and the people around her. And she feels ashamed of running from her problems, which are caused by her, so running from this problem (her) is probably not the move. And... telling her "not right now, we need to run from these other problems or else we'll die" is like the least helpful possible thing to tell Shadow Quin. And... confronting that problem head-on, i.e. trying to punch her out... is also not metaphorically a healthy thing to do here, since that's just more self-flagellation.
This is like, hard mode. Previous shadows have been placated with "okay, I admit I have these problems and you're a part of me that I need to cope with somehow". Quin's shadow, though, is saying that the problem is that she's accepted her problems as a part of her. So...
Okay, no, subtly different: Quin's had problems in life, some of which she's caused herself, and feels like she can't control her own behavior. The problems exist- and there's a question of responsibility. She's not saying A "the problems are caused by me and that's my fault" or B "the problems are not caused by me and that's not my fault". She's saying C "the problems are caused by me and that's not my fault", which, to some extent, because of brain problems, sure, but... oof.
Of course, a lot of her problems are actually not her fault. Her dad wasn't her fault, Andrea wasn't her fault, a lot of the things she's been hearing and amplifying are just... not her fault. She's not separating problems that were inflicted on her from problems that were caused by her own lashing out- it's got to be one or the other, and she knows some problems are her fault and therefore all of them must be. Except that doesn't make any sense, does it?
-problems i cant control
-i cant help it
-but i get blamed
It doesn't make any sense, so what is she supposed to do?!
So, if we want to get that through to Shadow Quin, who feels like she has to accept the blame for everything... maybe we make it clear to her that this problem, right now, is not her fault. It's bonkers to even construe it as her fault. The problems happening right now are happening because some quack tricked everyone into letting him conduct dangerous experiments on their brains. This isn't an Ava situation where it's not fair to blame her- it's totally fair to blame that guy. It's totally fair to blame Andrea for Andrea, it's totally fair to blame no one for ice being dangerous.
>Are you really going to try and make this OUR fault?!
(this of course works best if cherry, ava, and helen back her up. if you've got chronic problems with assigning blame fairly, friends who can put things in perspective for you are useful.)
(also i bet there would be zero problems whatsoever with convincing Shadow Quin that Grey is the appropriate target for her wrath)
Okay, so, a fun metaphor here: Quin feels like she causes her own problems, and here she is, her, being a problem for herself and the people around her. And she feels ashamed of running from her problems, which are caused by her, so running from this problem (her) is probably not the move. And... telling her "not right now, we need to run from these other problems or else we'll die" is like the least helpful possible thing to tell Shadow Quin. And... confronting that problem head-on, i.e. trying to punch her out... is also not metaphorically a healthy thing to do here, since that's just more self-flagellation.
This is like, hard mode. Previous shadows have been placated with "okay, I admit I have these problems and you're a part of me that I need to cope with somehow". Quin's shadow, though, is saying that the problem is that she's accepted her problems as a part of her. So...
Okay, no, subtly different: Quin's had problems in life, some of which she's caused herself, and feels like she can't control her own behavior. The problems exist- and there's a question of responsibility. She's not saying A "the problems are caused by me and that's my fault" or B "the problems are not caused by me and that's not my fault". She's saying C "the problems are caused by me and that's not my fault", which, to some extent, because of brain problems, sure, but... oof.
Of course, a lot of her problems are actually not her fault. Her dad wasn't her fault, Andrea wasn't her fault, a lot of the things she's been hearing and amplifying are just... not her fault. She's not separating problems that were inflicted on her from problems that were caused by her own lashing out- it's got to be one or the other, and she knows some problems are her fault and therefore all of them must be. Except that doesn't make any sense, does it?
-problems i cant control
-i cant help it
-but i get blamed
It doesn't make any sense, so what is she supposed to do?!
So, if we want to get that through to Shadow Quin, who feels like she has to accept the blame for everything... maybe we make it clear to her that this problem, right now, is not her fault. It's bonkers to even construe it as her fault. The problems happening right now are happening because some quack tricked everyone into letting him conduct dangerous experiments on their brains. This isn't an Ava situation where it's not fair to blame her- it's totally fair to blame that guy. It's totally fair to blame Andrea for Andrea, it's totally fair to blame no one for ice being dangerous.
>Are you really going to try and make this OUR fault?!
(this of course works best if cherry, ava, and helen back her up. if you've got chronic problems with assigning blame fairly, friends who can put things in perspective for you are useful.)
(also i bet there would be zero problems whatsoever with convincing Shadow Quin that Grey is the appropriate target for her wrath)