RE: This is gonna be the thread where we talk about stuff
03-02-2013, 05:47 PM
Gonna do that thing where you say basically the same thing as someone else but phrased slightly differently so it looks like you're taking a different stand:
I think that DF made a really good distinction between "fandoms" and "communities" where the focus of one is the object of their enjoyment and the focus of the other is the members of the community.
Now these definitions are not exclusive from one another, like Schazer said a community could simply be a group of people who share a common trait (like living near each other, or all enjoying the same thing). But there is a noticeable difference in a community where most of the members are just focused on the object of interest and one where the object of interest has shifted to the members of the community itself.
Soups, I recall talking with you once about friendships in general, and (if I recall correctly) about your distaste for the idea of "eating next to someone" or "sitting next to somebody at a movie" as being an accepted pathway for establishing new/existing relationships because they didn't allow them to share any real external interests. I remember your stance being something along the lines of "If someone doesn't enjoy the same things I enjoy, why would I be friends with them?" (Please correct me if I'm putting words in your mouth!)
That struck me as a very utilitarian focus on friendship (which, after reading up a bit, I realize utilitarian isn't the right term here (this site, has a nice and quick breakdown of different types of friendships, ala Aristotle)). Not that you can't have a blast enjoying the same things someone else enjoys, and I also remember you making a very good point about how painful it would be to try and maintain a friendship with someone where you shared no common interests. I would venture to say,though, that the natural progression of things is that eventually, as you build experiences with someone, the focus of that friendship becomes more than just whatever it was that initially brought the two of you together (be it music, or forum adventures, or advanced wars).
If the friendship was just about the object of interest, then if something happened where that object no longer existed, then the friendship would dissolve. A baseball team shuts down, and fans of that team no longer meet. A show gets cancelled, and fans of that show part ways. But as DF, mentioned in his example (and I would venture that this site itself is a very similar example) people will still meet if they are meeting because their focus is on the people they know.
I want to toss in here that the particular conversation I'm referencing, exemplifies something I really like about Soups. She is stalwart in her opinions and that causes people to re-evaluate their positions on existing issues. I left that conversation with the idea that I had undervalued the role of common-interest in the formation and development of quality relationships. I would dare to say that while I could care less about pokemon LP's or old record labels (i am exaggerating a bit here), I would still be disappointed if she suddenly disappeared, because I would miss that particular quality of her character.
Really, I think I could say something similar for anyone here. I could take or leave grandbattles or forum adventures, but the reason I come here (and not MSPAF) is because I enjoy the character and company of most people here. It's what I think drives this particular community. And that is "the alternative" is supposed to be.
I think that DF made a really good distinction between "fandoms" and "communities" where the focus of one is the object of their enjoyment and the focus of the other is the members of the community.
Now these definitions are not exclusive from one another, like Schazer said a community could simply be a group of people who share a common trait (like living near each other, or all enjoying the same thing). But there is a noticeable difference in a community where most of the members are just focused on the object of interest and one where the object of interest has shifted to the members of the community itself.
Superfrequency Wrote:I don't see sharing something you enjoy with someone else as somehow being less valuable than whatever the alternative is supposed to be.
Soups, I recall talking with you once about friendships in general, and (if I recall correctly) about your distaste for the idea of "eating next to someone" or "sitting next to somebody at a movie" as being an accepted pathway for establishing new/existing relationships because they didn't allow them to share any real external interests. I remember your stance being something along the lines of "If someone doesn't enjoy the same things I enjoy, why would I be friends with them?" (Please correct me if I'm putting words in your mouth!)
That struck me as a very utilitarian focus on friendship (which, after reading up a bit, I realize utilitarian isn't the right term here (this site, has a nice and quick breakdown of different types of friendships, ala Aristotle)). Not that you can't have a blast enjoying the same things someone else enjoys, and I also remember you making a very good point about how painful it would be to try and maintain a friendship with someone where you shared no common interests. I would venture to say,though, that the natural progression of things is that eventually, as you build experiences with someone, the focus of that friendship becomes more than just whatever it was that initially brought the two of you together (be it music, or forum adventures, or advanced wars).
If the friendship was just about the object of interest, then if something happened where that object no longer existed, then the friendship would dissolve. A baseball team shuts down, and fans of that team no longer meet. A show gets cancelled, and fans of that show part ways. But as DF, mentioned in his example (and I would venture that this site itself is a very similar example) people will still meet if they are meeting because their focus is on the people they know.
I want to toss in here that the particular conversation I'm referencing, exemplifies something I really like about Soups. She is stalwart in her opinions and that causes people to re-evaluate their positions on existing issues. I left that conversation with the idea that I had undervalued the role of common-interest in the formation and development of quality relationships. I would dare to say that while I could care less about pokemon LP's or old record labels (i am exaggerating a bit here), I would still be disappointed if she suddenly disappeared, because I would miss that particular quality of her character.
Really, I think I could say something similar for anyone here. I could take or leave grandbattles or forum adventures, but the reason I come here (and not MSPAF) is because I enjoy the character and company of most people here. It's what I think drives this particular community. And that is "the alternative" is supposed to be.
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