Lucidstuck:swap!AU fanadventure (1)

For those people who can't be bothered to check each frame of the gif. If you can piece together the blacked out words that'd be swell.

First page:
"even for me, and these things are apparently dangerous? I feel really bad I didn't believe him before.... I mean, I believed *he* believed it, I just didn't think it'd be real, and he's been seeing this shit for years... Well, hopefully I can ha-"

Second page:
"No wonder this world has 'Murder' in the label, I got two cats. First one was bad enough then he's like "Ohhh, you need another buddy to bodyguard you" but apparently I only really 'bond' with very specific (blacked out word/s) shit, it can only be something I-"

Third page:
"and apparently, my hate for cats trumps everything because I got 2. At least he seems to be pretty strong. I know they're on my side but I swear I just wanna flush DT down the toilet every time I see him, at least he hasn't tried to touch me, if it felt like real fur I think I'd punt him."

Fourth page:
"We decided to go out and explore and we got lucky, there was a soul just lying around and I gave it to Raziel, he got stronger, and then we were stalking some little shit with a spear that ran when itsaw him, but we must have seperated while chasing it because (blacked out word) (blacked out word) and I thought (blacked out word) kinda- like-"

Fifth page:
"AU seems to be going well, I haven't decided where to put the obscuring mark, Derrick says it's important but we have things under control in the house, nothing could last long if they get in, unless they're crazy strong like Big Stink. I'm gonna try to stay awake a couple days to see if I can get stronger like that, conjuring - and, th-"