The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

Note that sobriety cantrips are quite common in the shining land: Winterbough has demonstrated them many times in the Saga.

(SALV Silverbrush) Open your envelope of Secret Orders. Read.
(SALV Silverbrush) Come to the conclusion, based on the contents, that you got the wrong envelope.
(Adler) Go off on a truly corking Irenaean temper tantrum about things in general.
(Adler) Recall to your Army what Irenaeus did to armies of his that displeased him.
(Wise Professor Skunk) Explain to the readers what, precisely, the Lacktail did.
(Wise Professor Skunk) Omit certain gruesome details, like the bits involving ants and honey.
(Stolen Comb) Be examined closely by somefur deeply interested in it.
(Estmere) Enjoy life in general.