THE PIT (Fortuna Discussion Topic)

Today I was able to locate the very first Joke non canon Inter-Mission. All the awful spelling is on perpose. You can see that this joke intermission would end up hinting to future events that would happen, like most of the intermissions.

Enjoy this train wreck I thought died with the MSPAFourms.

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Spoiler

Excuse you all, it's time for an intermission.




Your name is Apollo and you have been banished to the shadow relem 4 no good reason, like honestly you killed a guy so what??? The worst part about being banished to the shadow relam is that for some reason a dragonfly and a stupid clown keeps following you around.






Also 4 some reason giant unknown terrors of the shadow relme keep chasing you, you don't know what's up with that.

>Giant Horrorterrors: Attack Apollo
>Apollo: Surrender

You just give the fuck up. You're so done with running so much, you don't even know why you're running away so much. All it did was some how take your eye and half your mouth somehow? That was no where near as bad as you thought it would be.

>Open your mouth and swallow that motherfucker whole what do you MEAN you don't have a mouth what kind of robot doesn't have a mouth this is bullshit

The fuck bro. Another one comes at you but you get so pissed off you try to bite it's face off.




2 bad you don't have a mouth so it looks like you're trying to make out with it. The monster gets so embarrassed it just ollies out of there.





You decide to keep walking forward cause you have nothing else to do. The clown thing walks backwards to change it up, you think it's stupid. The clown not the walking backwards thing. You find a paper on the floor and decide to pick it up cause it's honestly the only thing not trying to murder you somehow here.




Oh no it's a picture of this asshole. This freaking asshole caused all of your issues. You would be so much better if they didn't come in to your life.




Just in case you couldn't tell who you were talking about.





You decide to just stand in the great emptiness of the shadow relems. You honestly don't know why you even try anymore. Your dragonfly friend(?????????) is trying to tell you a thing, though you don't know what it is.

Your friend is a liar. U should just kill it.

>Then feed the dragonfly to the clown because really what is it even trying to say SPEAK UP SON you're only going to give a dude a headache at this rate. Or a CPUache, something like that. Robots man.

You grab your friend(?????) and tell them you're going to kill them. For no reason really other then they're so going to lie to you or something. Your friends always lie to you. The dragonfly says you cannot kill it.






Because it is already dead.

>Decide to rename yourself Half-face because you now have half a face. Holy SHIT you're mindblown because that was literally the most creative fucking thing you ever came up with. Declare this to your loser companions.

You let it go cause you just give up, nothing ever goes your way. You tell the dragonfly you're thinking of naming yourself half face and it tells you it doesn't care cause you're a jerk and you're going to lose all your friends if you keep treating them like shit and expecting them to care about you. This makes you sad.

>There is a hole here, a small one, right there, LISTEN bro

You run away from the both of them. It's not fair, you should be able to treat your friends like shit and then be able to have them love and care for you, why else would you even have friends 4???????

The dragonfly tells you to get off the random pile of whatever you are on and deal with your problems like a robot. You say no. They say maybe if you had listened to them instead of trying to murder them maybe you would have heard about the giant rip in the shadow relmae. You know maybe the one you could maybe just jump out of???

Pile: Be dead spacekraken

For some reason you stop what you're doing to check what the pile is made of. Yep it's dead bodies. Whatever man this is a normal weekend for you.

> You're in the shadow realm, just walk through the atmosphere up to it. Physics doesnt count here.

>Just jump out of it.

Look at this shit. No no, don't look away. You know what still makes sense in the shadow relmde? Physics. You are so done right now. You're no longer going to take orders from you. I mean look at me. Look at me just slam my face right in to the floor. This is all your fault. This is what happens when I listen to your orders man.

>Thank the dragonfly for the advice and help. You get better at being a friend by practising.

I'm not going to thank the dragonfly for their advice. Their advice was useless, I would have totally seen that giant rip in space sooner or later you know in some point in the next 50 years maybe.

>Man that dragonfly sure is a great counsellor. I wonder who she is *wink* wink* [COLOR="#FFFFFF"] it's Theylla[/COLOR]

>Tenderly KISS the dragonfly on the whole body probably dragonflies are pretty small let's be fair. But, I mean you already more or less made out with a monster so why not right? You clearly don't have anything left to lose anyway, what's a bit of smooching between friends in appreciation for them helping you out?
>... You could kiss the clown dude too, I guess, but I mean I don't know if you'd want to do THAT too.

Who the heck are you referring to? This dragonfly is Apollo Jr the 3rd. It is clearly a it like all bugs and no I will not makeout with it. You see what's happening here? You all are clearly running out of things to say.

>Giant Horrorterror: Attack Apollo again. This time, stealth attack.

Fuck my life. I can't walk 10 feet without having someone throwing a paper at me.

>What even is that clown thing anyway? It doesn't even look close to species in the Cosmodex.

Why in the world would clowns even be in the dex? Clowns are a job title not a species!

>don't worry, I still like you.

Well I don't like you.

Oh, and hey Apollo. We met another Hermes model and he's a lot less bitter than you. We like him a lot more.
> Throw the paper back without reading it.

Why would you say you don't like me? That may or may not deeply hurt my feelings.... Also seeing as I'm no longer following your orders I'm going to go ahead and read this paper all I want. After all you're just a joke, a one-liner, a parody, prank, a ruse, you see what I'm getting at here? What I'm saying is that everything that is happening at this moment is nothing but a shaggy-dog story.

>Code-Bug Pal: Be in the intermission

These are the sort of things no being should see.






Oh great it's the twins. They'll likely want to strike some sort of deal with me. Time to play dead.

>Twins: Punish Apollo

I try to play dead but they aren't fooled. Likely because I'm openly monologing about everything that's happening out loud! Also nearly everyone in the shadow releem is dead anyway soooooooo there's that. I would have tried to attack them you see, but attacking them just doesn't work as well as you would guess it would.

>Shades dog and angelizard: Give Apollo a binding contract.

The red brother, who I call the sleeper because he just sits on his butt all day and sleeps says he's going to strike a deal with me, also that he's off put I'm narrating his life in 1st person. He says that they'll allow me out of this place as long as I kill the big boss, which is of course Zeus. They want to play a game with the big boss, and they've heard I'm a pretty tough dude and as masters of the shadow releme they get to allow anyone they want out.

>take the record deal so you can ascend

>Maybe you should pretend to consider whatever deal they'll offer, man they won't see that coming.

To be honest I was sort of getting used to all the piles of dead bodies and the constant being chased down like an animal thing. It was you know, just fabulous so I only fake accepted the deal. Too bad they took it as my approval and loaded me in to a catapult.


"Any last words Mr. R. Apollo?" The other one dares to ask me.

>"You're next after Zeus"

Ooooh yes that's a perfect one. You're next after Zeus is what I tell them. They seem to shrug. They don't seem to care one bit about death!

>A long diatribe about how you how much you hate them.

> Go on some fantastic rant of anger at them while getting launched.

I start up a fabulous rant about them. One of them takes out a large stick and says, [COLOR="#FF0000"]"If you keep talking shit, you're going to get hit."[/COLOR] Look I'm not scared of a stick or anything but I'm just going to avoid this sort of thing you know? I'm just going to pick some other final words.

"I think it's time..."

*Put on shades*

I grab some random shades I brought off a guy and put them on. I think it's time

"For the sun to rise."
*Get shot across sky*

For the sun to rise.

>ⒶÞ☼l۩ʘ/Apollo: try to go through that crack, despite its near probability of not existing

Did I just land in a pile of kittens and toasters? What has happened to the universe while I've been gone? Is that cat wearing sunglasses?


"Don't you get it?"






"This was all a ruse."