RE: The Damnable Fisticuffs (Round One: Kingdom of Giam)
02-07-2013, 05:23 AM
Much had happened since Dout slipped half an hour ago. None of it had involved him getting up.
It wasn't that he couldn't get up if he wanted to, but he was in no hurry. The ground was actually rather comfortable, and he was still in a good mood from his recent conversation. He barely even took notice as someone shuffled by talking to himself.
Then he noticed the clouds. They were oddly localized over one house; an unusual phenomenon. And unusual natural phenomena tended to draw fools spouting superstitious nonsense. Superstitious nonsense which needed debunking by a reasoned argument and scientific evidence. Dout picked himself up and walked towards the house, knowing there would be a job for him soon.
Besides, if it rained he'd prefer not to be caught lying down in the mud.
He was mildly disappointed that the next person he saw wasn't an attention-seeker declaring the clouds an omen, but rather a masked young man rushing out of the house with a large sheet.
"Young man!" Dout called to him. Robespierre stared back, surprised; he hadn't expected anyone to be hanging around here, let alone the weirdo who hadn't even picked himself up after that banana peel trick.
"Young man, is that sheet waterproof, by any chance?" Dout continued. "I'm expecting an argument soon, and also a bit of rain, and it would be nice to have some shelter."
"Uh, I don't know," Robespierre replied, puzzled. "It's not mine, I'm just, uh, taking it to get cleaned?"
"It looks reasonably clean to me already," Dout mused, grabbing one end of it before the boy could protest. "Does it really require special treatment?"
"Uh, well, the guy said that, uh, the magic was leaking out all over it and it needed to be taken to the, uh, Spring of Cleanliness," Robespierre said desperately.
"Nonsense!" Dout declared. "There is no such thing as magic, and this Spring of Cleanliness is surely just ordinary water. I would advise you to return this sheet to its owner and inform him he has been the victim of a scam."
Robespierre could have slapped himself. He was in such a panic he'd forgotten this Dout guy's whole thing was not believing in magic. Still, an idea quickly presented itself.
"Well don't I feel silly!" he said, laughing nervously. "I ran all the way here so this guy could dip it in the Spring of Cleanliness and now it turns out we've both been fooled! Now I gotta run back to the next town over and tell the guy he was conned, and man, he's probably not going to be too keen on paying my delivery fee... Well, gotta go!"
"Wait. The alleged Spring of Cleanliness is here?"
"Yeah, totally, this guy runs the con, man I don't want to hang around if he finds out I'm on to him, gotta get this not-magic sheet back fast now!"
"Yes, yes, be on your way. I'll deal with this con man."
Dout wasn't even watching as Robespierre darted off with the sheet, relieved. He knocked on the door.
"I hope that's not the draft officer again," Maximus Smith-Mason-Gardener-Smythe muttered to himself as he put down his pen and went to answer.
It wasn't that he couldn't get up if he wanted to, but he was in no hurry. The ground was actually rather comfortable, and he was still in a good mood from his recent conversation. He barely even took notice as someone shuffled by talking to himself.
Then he noticed the clouds. They were oddly localized over one house; an unusual phenomenon. And unusual natural phenomena tended to draw fools spouting superstitious nonsense. Superstitious nonsense which needed debunking by a reasoned argument and scientific evidence. Dout picked himself up and walked towards the house, knowing there would be a job for him soon.
Besides, if it rained he'd prefer not to be caught lying down in the mud.
He was mildly disappointed that the next person he saw wasn't an attention-seeker declaring the clouds an omen, but rather a masked young man rushing out of the house with a large sheet.
"Young man!" Dout called to him. Robespierre stared back, surprised; he hadn't expected anyone to be hanging around here, let alone the weirdo who hadn't even picked himself up after that banana peel trick.
"Young man, is that sheet waterproof, by any chance?" Dout continued. "I'm expecting an argument soon, and also a bit of rain, and it would be nice to have some shelter."
"Uh, I don't know," Robespierre replied, puzzled. "It's not mine, I'm just, uh, taking it to get cleaned?"
"It looks reasonably clean to me already," Dout mused, grabbing one end of it before the boy could protest. "Does it really require special treatment?"
"Uh, well, the guy said that, uh, the magic was leaking out all over it and it needed to be taken to the, uh, Spring of Cleanliness," Robespierre said desperately.
"Nonsense!" Dout declared. "There is no such thing as magic, and this Spring of Cleanliness is surely just ordinary water. I would advise you to return this sheet to its owner and inform him he has been the victim of a scam."
Robespierre could have slapped himself. He was in such a panic he'd forgotten this Dout guy's whole thing was not believing in magic. Still, an idea quickly presented itself.
"Well don't I feel silly!" he said, laughing nervously. "I ran all the way here so this guy could dip it in the Spring of Cleanliness and now it turns out we've both been fooled! Now I gotta run back to the next town over and tell the guy he was conned, and man, he's probably not going to be too keen on paying my delivery fee... Well, gotta go!"
"Wait. The alleged Spring of Cleanliness is here?"
"Yeah, totally, this guy runs the con, man I don't want to hang around if he finds out I'm on to him, gotta get this not-magic sheet back fast now!"
"Yes, yes, be on your way. I'll deal with this con man."
Dout wasn't even watching as Robespierre darted off with the sheet, relieved. He knocked on the door.
"I hope that's not the draft officer again," Maximus Smith-Mason-Gardener-Smythe muttered to himself as he put down his pen and went to answer.