Cloudsea - The Chronicle of Alice Van Vaugen

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. . . I want to... fight. But I want to run away, as well. I think... I think we should take a vote.

*Skrwrk.* You are the captain of this 'ship', are you not? Make a decision and put us on our path.

I remind you, Darling, that some of us are not- 'welcome'- in the Imperial Sphere, and there are not many places I can think of to run that wouldn't likely get us in more trouble, or provide enough hiding spaces. . .

. . . 'darling'?

I wouldn't exactly enjoy going back into the imperial sphere, but I'm all for running away. Why bother fighting those things again? We can just hide somewhere, making sure nobody catches a glimpse of the Dead Prince. . .

I agree we should make a decision calmly, but I also agree that we do not have much time. We should already be putting space between us and the threat...

. . .

Viss looked at Qhen, who just stared off into the distance, rubbing their chin, until a sharp elbow from Viss brings them back to the present.

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Ow. What?

I don't know... say something comforting! Isn't that your job?

...Since when was it my job to comfort Alice? I thought that was firmly in your wheelhouse.

Are you really choosing NOW to be mouthy with me, Fenrose?!

I just don't know what you expect me to do. Alice is the Captain. I respect her decision above all others. If she says to stay and fight, then I'll stand between her and this 'darkness' until I can't stand any more. If she says to run, then I'll fly her to the edge of the Cloudsea and beyond. I couldn't care what these intruders think.

. . .Hmmph. I guess you really are just as stuffy as you look.

Qhen said something back- Which Viss visibly winced at- and next thing Alice knew, Earl and Qhen were arguing, then Katie was mouthing off, and Sebastian was being absolutely no help and...

Alice retreated again, into her head. She was back in her room, with her books. Her quiet, peaceful books. She started to read, and for the first few moments of forever, she managed to ignore the knocking sound...

Until the knocking was on her head. She winced, and quickly rolled over in bed, pulling her blankets over herself and glaring angrily at Empty as she started to burrow under the covers.

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What do you want?

. . .They need guidance, Alice.

What they NEED is to shut up and leave me alone. I don't care anymore. Just- Take over my body or whatever and tell them I don't care. Qhen can just point us in a direction and go. They can throw me overboard for all I care.

Empty let out a sound not unlike a sigh. They turned away. . . And then sat down. Alice frowned at that. Then they shifted a leg up onto the bed, adjusting their robes. Alice frowned more. Empty placed a plate of cookies on the bed. Alice looked at them, then Empty. She reached out of her blanket cocoon... and was met with a cold glass of milk in her hand. She almost jumped, but her proximity to her books held her nerves steady.

Alice looked at the glass of milk, and took it into her blankets, snagging a cookie with the other hand. Munching noises from within indicated to Empty that they were allowed to speak. . .

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I can't do that, you know that Alice.

Can't do what? Tell them to shut up for me? Take over my body? Tell them to throw me overboard?

Especially the last one. Remember, we only merge when our thoughts are one-

I thought my will was your will, and all that. So-

That's true, when you actually have the will to do something. Sitting around and hiding from the world is doing nothing. If you want something done, you still have to want to do it yourself.

. . .But I can't do any of that.

Why?

. . .Because I don't want any of this. I don't deserve any-

Ah-Ah. You could have just lead with the second part. It's not that you don't want to, it's that you think you aren't allowed to. Why don't you deserve the right to tell them what you want? This is your ship. Your rules. Your problem-

EXACTLY! It's >MY< problem! Not theirs! Mine! I have done nothing to deserve their loyalty, and I'm not about to ask them to DIE with me because I'm afraid to confront-

Alice had exploded out of her blankets, to put a finger right in Empty's face, only to find herself face to face with Sebastian. The room had gone quiet. Really quiet. She couldn't SEE anybody else, but she could tell from Sebastian's expression that she was likely the center of attention.

Seb opened their mouth to say something- but it was too late. Alice shoved him away- Katie moved in to catch him, and Alice used that moment to break through the ring of people around her bed. There was at least a couple calls out in her direction, but she threw the door open, and ran. Ran all the way to the deck, where she went to the nose of the ship... Gripped the edge...

And Vomited. Egh. Or tried to. Alice stared over the edge of the boat, and for a few moments, her head began to swirl with thoughts... How much did she say out loud? All of it? None of it? Was Empty tricking her? Did she just scream at a wounded man? All the information was finally catching up to her. Everybody was in some form of wound or distress, as their features played out in her brain.

Alice was starting to get a headache. Her thoughts were getting hard to deal with. She just stared down into the clouds below her. Staring. Slowly. Deeply. She reached out with an arm-

When suddenly she felt herself being hauled backwards. She barely had the strength to complain, and simply fell back onto Qhen, knocking them both onto the deck.

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. . . Alice, you're a mess.

Ha.. ha ha. You have no idea.

Alice. I just kept you from leaping off the edge of the boat.

I- . . . What?

. . .

She followed Qhen's gaze to the edge. She briefly remembered thinking about her comment... Just throw her overboard for all she cared-

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Oh. Oh... I- Uh... Qhen, would you believe I don't remember...?

No, I get it.

do you really

We- Uh. We can be a bit of a handful- Viss and I. Then you met all these new people, and they're interested in you- Not like Viss and I are interested in you- mind you! I think-

okay this is getting awkward, qhen-

-and they clearly cared enough to follow you onto this boat, but all we've done since you woke up was argue. I might not like these new people, but they like you, and I don't want to tell them that you just tried to jump off the boat because we're all a bunch of aggravating assholes who can't understand your feelings-

qhen please stop i get it

And I don't even know if this is helping, I feel like I'm scolding someone who is my superior and I don't think that's really my place and I can't believe Viss made me do this- just promise you won't do something like that ever again because-

Alice kissed Qhen on the cheek. Qhen blinked. Alice smiled back at them.

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There we go. Feel better?

I-Uh. .. Hm. Ah- Well- I mean. That is to say- I don't feel bad- Because I don't think you kissing me is bad! But It would be improper to say it's good- Look, I don't think this is proper behavior-

Qhen Fenrose.

Yes MaaAAaa-Am!?

Shut up. Just- Shut up. That's the best thing you can all do right now. Okay?

Qhen nodded weakly. Alice smiled and stood up, reaching down and hauling Qhen up- (holy dang Qhen weighs a lot more than you. Must be all that bone and muscle mass.) She dusted off Qhen's clothes, then patted them on the cheek.

She turned to go back to her cabin. Qhen followed behind closely. Understandable. Qhen was probably afraid she was going to pull another cliffhanger. She was kinda afraid of that herself. That's why she wanted to get INSIDE. But no- Everybody was just so WORDY and- ANNOYING- and nobody listens to her and-

Alice SHOVED the door to her cabin open, and Jude barely stepped out of the way.

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Aaah! Hey, watch-- Alice! Are you feeling-

Shut up!

I- Wh-

Ah-ah! Shut up! Mouth closed! Same goes for the rest of you!

Uh- Is Aliss... Alrigh-

What part of mouth closed did you misunderstand? The body-area indicated, or the state I wished it to remain in?! Now Keep your face-hole shut before I think of a creative way to shut it for you- and no, that wasn't a salacious offer! I remember seeing a roll of tape somewhere in my things!

Everybody was quiet. Perfectly, beautifully quiet. Alice clapped her hands together. This was nice. Qhen followed her in and... just stood at the door.

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Hi! Thanks for giving me your respect by doing as I say and being quiet! Too bad you couldn't do this earlier while I was silently and internally boiling with complex, irrational feelings about how I didn't deserve your friendship, respect, or whatever it is that has brought you onto my ship! I'm presuming some sort of deathwish!

. . .

So for reasons that are unclear to me- Because I BARELY know myself, much less my enemy, I tried to jump off the boat just a few minutes ago! Yes, yes, look surprised or whatever, but don't say anything yet, I'm not done! If I was going to guess, I was probably trying to spare you having to die for me on what will likely be a one way trip regardless! Now, this is what is going to happen. I'm going to give you your options, and then we're going to hold a vote. Not because I am unwilling to make a decision on my own, but because I believe- rightfully or not- That in many things, you probably know better than me, and I respect your thoughts and opinions, and if you don't like that, you can kiss my ass!

Alice took in a deep breath, and sat down on her bed. She held it for a few seconds, then let it out. Nope. Still not feeling any better. Fine.

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Any questions?

Everybody's hands shot up.

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Any questions that AREN'T poorly veiled excuses to ask if I'm okay after nearly jumping to my death, or simply questioning some part of what I just said?

Everybody's hands went down.

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Right. So. The way I see it, we have two options. Stay and Fight, or Run and Fight. If we stay and fight, we keep the fight faraway from anybody that doesn't deserve to get caught up in our shenanigans. If we win, fine. If I die- then at least I won't have likely gotten a bunch of people eaten by-... those things. On the other hand, I can't imagine the Imperial Sphere would just IGNORE something going around attacking places. Especially if we went deep- as close as we could to the capital, before going into hiding and trying to gather supplies. I know some of you don't have any real love for the way the Imperials do things. In that case, just imaging the number of people that are going to get eaten, and that should make up for me asking you to do something so uncomfortable. Any questions? No? Good. Here's how we do this. Everybody is going to close their eyes. When I say to, put up your left hand if you want to stay, and your right hand if you want to run. Understand? Go.

Qhen votes Stay.
Judith votes Run.
Katie votes Stay.
Seb votes Run.
Earl votes Run.
Viss votes Stay.

Well. That was no help. Alice would ask for your help, but she's currently not listening to anybody right now! She's in a funky mood, and she's even pointedly ignoring Empty.

But Empty isn't ignoring you. Empty waves.

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Hi. Sorry about Alice. She's... Experiencing emotions. I found it weird the first time I had those. I can't imagine it's much better for her.

. . .

That was- Harsh of me, huh? Should I have done that- making her act out by stepping out of our conversation? I didn't think she was going to do anything on her own if I just sat there and let her hide in her own head- but perhaps I overstepped my bounds.

. . .

Well, nothing to do about it right now. If you have any ideas, I'll pass them along after she's calmed down...

[ ] Run and Fight>
[ ] Stay and Fight>
[ ] How about do we something else?>
[ ] Seriously, why are we even fighting this thing? Is there another option?>