Post making contest 6.0

akumu please explain christmas

It is the blade that strikes down Thanksgiving, and it is the hand that holds the blade. This post passes rule 2.

Also known as Xmas, Xmas Plus, and Xmas Prime.

This post passes rules 1, 2, and 4.

One
A Poem

A Raven

Midnights so dreary, tired and weary,
  Silently pondering volumes extolling all by-now obsolete lore.
During my rather long nap - the weirdest tap!
  An ominous vibrating sound disturbing my chamber's antedoor.
    "This", I whispered quietly, "I ignore".

Perfectly, the intellect remembers: the ghostly fires, a glittering ember.
  Inflamed by lightning's outbursts, windows cast penumbras upon this floor.
Sorrowful, as one mistreated, unhappy thoughts I heeded:
  That inimitable lesson in elegance - Lenore -
    Is delighting, exciting...nevermore.

Ominously, curtains parted (my serenity outsmarted),
  And fear overcame my being - the fear of "forevermore".
Fearful foreboding abided, selfish sentiment confided,
  As I said, "Methinks mysterious traveler knocks afore.
    A man is visiting, of age threescore."

Taking little time, briskly addressing something: "Sir," (robustly)
  "Tell what source originates clamorous noise afore?
Disturbing sleep unkindly, is it you a-tapping, so slyly?
  Why, devil incarnate!--" Here completely unveiled I my antedoor--
    Just darkness, I ascertained - nothing more.

While surrounded by darkness then, I persevered to clearly comprehend.
  I perceived the weirdest dream...of everlasting "nevermores".
Quite, quite, quick nocturnal doubts fled - such relief! - as my intellect said,
  (Desiring, imagining still) that perchance the apparition was uttering a whispered "Lenore".
    This only, as evermore.

Silently, I reinforced, remaining anxious, quite scared, afraid,
  While intrusive tap did then come thrice - O, so stronger than sounded afore.
"Surely" (said silently) "it was the banging, clanging window lattice."
  Glancing out, I quaked, upset by horrors hereinbefore,
    Perceiving: a "nevermore".

Completely disturbed, I said, "Utter, please, what prevails ahead.
  Repose, relief, cessation, or but more dreary 'nevermores'?"
The bird intruded thence - O, irritation ever since! -
  Then sat on Pallas' pallid bust, watching me (I sat not, therefore),
    And stated "nevermores".

Bemused by raven's dissonance, my soul exclaimed, "I seek intelligence;
  Explain thy purpose, or soon cease intoning forlorn 'nevermores'!"
"Nevermores", winged corvus proclaimed - thusly was a raven named?
  Actually maintain a surname, upon Pluvious seashore?
    I heard an oppressive "nevermore".

My sentiments extremely pained, to perceive an utterance so plain,
  Most interested, mystified, a meaning I hoped for.
"Surely," said the raven's watcher, "separate discourse is wiser.
  Therefore, liberation I'll obtain, retreating heretofore -
    Eliminating all the 'nevermores' ".

Still, the detestable raven just remained, unmoving, on sculptured bust.
  Always saying "never" (by a red chamber's door).
A poor, tender heartache maven - a sorrowful bird - a raven!
  O, I wished thoroughly, forthwith, that he'd fly heretofore.
    Still sitting, he recited "nevermores".

The raven's dirge induced alarm - "nevermore" quite wearisome.
  I meditated: "Might its utterances summarize of a calamity before?"
O, a sadness was manifest - a sorrowful cry of unrest;
  "O," I thought sincerely, "it's a melancholy great - furthermore,
    Removing doubt, this explains 'nevermores' ".

Seizing just that moment to sit - closely, carefully, advancing beside it,
  Sinking down, intrigued, where velvet cushion lay afore.
A creature, midnight-black, watched there - it studied my soul, unawares.
  Wherefore, explanations my insight entreated for.
    Silently, I pondered the "nevermores".

"Disentangle, nefarious bird! Disengage - I am disturbed!"
  Intently its eye burned, raising the cry within my core.
"That delectable Lenore - whose velvet pillow this was, heretofore,
  Departed thence, unsettling my consciousness therefore.
    She's returning - that maiden - aye, nevermore."

Since, to me, that thought was madness, I renounced continuing sadness.
  Continuing on, I soundly, adamantly forswore:
"Wretch," (addressing blackbird only) "fly swiftly - emancipate me!"
  "Respite, respite, detestable raven - and discharge me, I implore!"
    A ghostly answer of: "nevermore".

" 'Tis a prophet? Wraith? Strange devil? Or the ultimate evil?"
  "Answer, tempter-sent creature!", I inquired, like before.
"Forlorn, though firmly undaunted, with 'nevermores' quite indoctrinated,
  Is everything depressing, generating great sorrow evermore?
    I am subdued!", I then swore.

In answer, the raven turned - relentless distress it spurned.
  "Comfort, surcease, quiet, silence!" - pleaded I for.
"Will my (abusive raven!) sorrows persist unabated?
  Nevermore Lenore respondeth?", adamantly I encored.
    The appeal was ignored.

"O, satanic inferno's denizen -- go!", I said boldly, standing then.
  "Take henceforth loathsome "nevermores" - O, to an ugly Plutonian shore!
Let nary one expression, O bird, remain still here, replacing mirth.
  Promptly leave and retreat!", I resolutely swore.
    Blackbird's riposte: "nevermore".

So he sitteth, observing always, perching ominously on these doorways.
  Squatting on the stony bust so untroubled, O therefore.
Suffering stark raven's conversings, so I am condemned, subserving,
  To a nightmare cursed, containing miseries galore.
    Thus henceforth, I'll rise (from a darkness, a grave) -- nevermore!

      -- Allanpoe, E.

This post passes rules 1, 2, and 3.

i hope i get an xbox one x for christmas

This post passes rules 1 and 2.

actually not really fuck the xbox one x

This post passes rule 1.

Rule 1: peas rule. peas come in pods in which there are lots of peas so every post must repeat itself a certain amount and include someone's name because everyone knows peas all have names for one another.
Rule 2: potatoes rule. because i always ask for more potatoes you have to say more to pass this rule
Rule 3: cauliflour rule. must contain a named character.
Rule 4: carrots rule. because carrots are the most common vegetable your post will probably pass rule 4
Rule 5: pumpkin rule. mustn't say the word pumpkin because pumpkins don't exist

good post
i like that post
thumbs up

This post passes rules 2 and 3.

town of chalice -> town of donut
ring of legends -> ring of fiddle
ogre -> old goat, ready to eat
hamfisted cyclops -> cyclops made of ham
demon dagger -> lightsaber vibrator

This post passes rules 2 and 3.

ogre -> old goat, ready to eat

the goagre:

This post passes rule 2.

p

This post passes rule 4.

pu

This post passes rule 4.

pum

This post passes rule 4.

pump

This post passes rules 2 and 4.

pumpk

This post passes rule 4.

pumpki

This post passes no rules.

pumpkin

This post passes no rules.

king with the skeleton grin grows tired of this town if they only understood i'd give it all up if i only could

This post passes rules 2 and 3.

The sixth sick sheik's sixth sick sheep's six. Happy birthday, sheep!

This post passes rules 1 and 2.

Hey Akumu, do you want to see a cursed woomy? Because if not, somebody's post here better pass every single rule. Consider this an official notice of... greenmail. Can't be blackmail if there's no money involved.

This post passes rules 2 and 3. I don't respond to any kind of mail.

Hey Akumu, do you want to see a cursed woomy? Because if not, somebody's post here better pass every single rule. Consider this an official notice of... greenmail. Can't be blackmail if there's no money involved.

:3c?

This post passes rules 2 and 3.

I'm more gay

This post passes rules 2, 4, and 5.

:3c?

0ω0

This post passes rule 2.

Shocking twist: Dr. Wily is the true mastermind behind the Post Making Contest!

This post passes rules 2 and 3.

Possibly with the assistance of Dracula.

Drs. Wily and Acula would make a powerful team. This post passes rule 2.