Adventurers plops, ripe for the grabbing

Adventurers plops, ripe for the grabbing
RE: Adventurers plops, ripe for the grabbing
The incoherent gronumolus strikes again! For gods sake!? JUST HOW MUCH MORE MUDAFUGGIN MONEY DOES THIS FUCKER HAVE TO HAVE TO BE CONTENT AT HIS JOB FLIPPING BURGERS FOR RED COLLAR WORKERS!? HNURGHHHHH!

You will defeat your brothers Southern Fried Chicken and Waffle cafe with this genius, genius, genius, brilliant super duper innovative idea! The North-North-Eastern Roasted in Peanut Oil and then Boiled in Buffalo Sweat, Cajun Turkey and Pancakes Bistro!

The Orcs are back in town!!! They do not like how a bunch of gargoyles have converted their nifty little home into a depraved cult revolving around the ritualistic sacrifice of your firstborn children to a giant spider-moth hybrid.

Satanya Clueazoo the half-demon detective is pitted against her worst enemy yet, blueberry filling in danish. She's got an allergy. It's real bad, seriously, her tongue and cheeks swell to the size of an elephants genitals. How embarrassing.

David Fragnut is hosting his last talk show this year and he's gifting his unicycle to whomever will make it to him in time and mows down the hordes of zabmie goasts he summoned from Jupiter.

The god of vacuum cleaners Daa'st S'ak-uh has chosen you as his mortal agent in the physical realm. Will you use your powers for the benefits of domestic hygiene or against? Only time will tell.

The vomit of goblins can heal you from necrosis but slowly drives you insane. Now you gotta counteract it with the dookie of a whale and the excrement of a hippo in order to escape the consequences. BECAUSE YOU ARE A H U M A N B E I N G, YOU HAVE V A L U E! IT IS YOUR F A T E! TO REJECT F A T E!

Some ultra-extremist animists have been amassing an army of mutilated spirits of diverse metals and minerals whose physical anchors to our world have been repurposed into all sorts of insipid trinkets enjoyed by the unwashed masses.

The self-destructive woman Armaga has self-destructed for the last time. She has invoked from a tablet made of bark and rotten stumps, THE DEVIL NOGER! Now you gotta buy her a new soul, what an ungrateful little chimp she is, isn't she? ISN'T SHE!?

If lightning were to travel through infinite space to its very finite destination would it still be the same?

A mischevious little elf is angered that you have refused to relinquish to him your fathers old Motley Crue vinyls and has enchanted your fridge to become a portal to Ice Hell the home of Ice Demons and Ice Satan.

Sometimes it is very difficult to be a clown who has to visit sick children in hospitals in the current anti-clown climate but you still power through the day and don't let the grief of the stone hard reality that these poor childrens future is very bleak get to you

The dark god of the primeval oceans has... Wait isn't this the same shit as before? How many of these fucking gods are just going to arbitrarily pick us as their champions!? There is no real choice either, who wants to be pulverised by a cruel and petty bastard for not wanting to work for him? I mean c'mon maaaaaaannnnnnn............. Oh he's paying 24.95 dollars an hour, oh shit dawg this is goooood....

You are going to murder Valentines Day.

You are going to murder dumb Math Jokers.

You are going to murder a murderer.
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