The Official Fogel Writes Silly Things Thread

Headache

Once upon a time, there was a headache. It hated everyone and wanted them to suffer.
But it was also very lazy, so it mostly just made one guy named Bob suffer and was satisfied with that.
Bob, naturally, didn't care much for this arrangement. So he went to the doctor.
"Doc, I have a headache," Bob grumbled.
"I'm afraid I have bad news for you, Bob," the doctor said, after a careful examination. "You have a lazy headache that wants everyone to suffer. If we don't keep it stuck in your head, it might take drastic action."
"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," Bob said. "Can't I just take aspirin or something?"
"No, but we can put you to sleep until we find a safer place to keep the headache."
"But headaches aren't tangible ow," Bob protested, right as the doctor hit him on the head with a reflex-testing mallet. Then Bob reflexively fell unconscious.
When Bob finally woke up, he was amazed. His head didn't hurt at all!
"Amazing, Doc!" he said to the doctor. "I feel better than ever! What did you do?"
"We locked your headache away in that safe," the doctor said, pointing to it. "And next we're going to launch it into the sun."
Bob stared at the doctor skeptically.
"You're the craziest doctor I've ever met," he said after a lengthy pause. "But at least you got rid of my headache."
"Let me out of here!" the headache shouted from inside the safe. "I can't make anyone suffer from inside a safe!"
Unfortunately, the safe was soundproof, so nobody heard it and Bob continued to think his doctor was crazy. He turned down the offer to watch his headache get launched into the sun, and went back to his job at the headache factory.
He came back home with a headache.
"Great, it's back already," he grumbled. "Maybe I should find another line of work."
Then he heard the phone ring. Puzzled, he answered it.
"Hello?" he asked.
"Hello, Bob. This is the sun. I have a real whopper of a headache here, and I was wondering if you could recommend a good doctor."
Bob thought about this.
"Nah," he said. "Just a crazy one."
"Oh. Sorry to bother you, then."
"No, it's cool, I've got a headache myself. I know how they can be."
And then Bob and his new headache lived happily ever after.