RE: Twenty Quest
01-06-2013, 02:21 AM
Questions and Answers
Before you begin the summoning procedure, you make a point to check the beach for giant clams. They keep eating valuable things, like woolen iPods, fish food, spare batteries, your spies, all the sand you're still stuffing in your pockets...
Urgh. This sand kleptomania is driving you crazy. If you're going to compulsively steal something, why can't it at least be something useful?
What's worse, you keep having trouble with the summoning process. First you get confused and try to summon all your prisoners, then when you remember that's wrong, you try to summon all your ex-boyfriends. Fortunately, you manage to remember what you're doing before you have to deal with that level of awkwardness. Then you try flipping a coin to alter reality so your spies are already here, before remembering that doesn't actually work.
No, the proper way to summon your spies is to write a post in a collaborative writing project that eliminates the weakest writer each round... wait, that sounds like a lot of trouble, considering you're not in any of those at the moment. And it occurs to you that you aren't really sure why you need to summon your spies anyways, your ex probably hasn't gone to great lengths to hide himself. Besides, they're just hand puppets dressed in garish and colorful zentai costumes, if not for the fact that they were magic woolen hand puppets made by your ex they'd be useless. You always preferred the Sifl and Olly ones who kept your evil tower clean, frankly.
While you reflect on what to do next, you glance through the newspaper and see if there are any dangerous jobs. Unfortunately, there aren't, though you note that your ex, Samson Schazer, has put out an ad for a juggler and listed his current address. There, see, you didn't need the spies.
There's also a story about your capture. Oh, that might jog your memory. Let's see.
"Fearsome Ghost Subdued"
"Pinkerella Pinkus Pinkerton, alias Lady Octopus Head, was captured by her arch-nemesis earlier today. She was sentenced to eternal unlife without her octopus head, greatly restricting her powers. Critics said that allowing the restless spirit to wander free is a grave mistake, even if she can't drown us all with a tidal wave any more..."
Oh, right, you're a ghost. You'd forgotten that up to now.
So you amend your plans a bit - you have to come back to life and then die. Stupid new head, why can't it remember these details sooner? Luckily, you don't have any mages prepared to revive you on your death, you don't have nearly as many powers when you're alive. In fact, you're even less powerful alive than you are right now.
Well, since you're a ghost, you don't really need the lunchbox. On a whim, you toss it to some guy named Chwoka on the other side of the fourth wall. It's time to pay Samson Schazer a visit.
As you prepare to leave the beach and head for your ex's place, you let out a sigh. It's already evening, and your horse has turned into a donkey. You hate it when this happens, the stupid thing never moves forward in this form. You back that ass up and head for your ex's place.
You double-check the address in the ad. Where is he hiding himself, again?
Spoiler
Before you begin the summoning procedure, you make a point to check the beach for giant clams. They keep eating valuable things, like woolen iPods, fish food, spare batteries, your spies, all the sand you're still stuffing in your pockets...
Urgh. This sand kleptomania is driving you crazy. If you're going to compulsively steal something, why can't it at least be something useful?
What's worse, you keep having trouble with the summoning process. First you get confused and try to summon all your prisoners, then when you remember that's wrong, you try to summon all your ex-boyfriends. Fortunately, you manage to remember what you're doing before you have to deal with that level of awkwardness. Then you try flipping a coin to alter reality so your spies are already here, before remembering that doesn't actually work.
No, the proper way to summon your spies is to write a post in a collaborative writing project that eliminates the weakest writer each round... wait, that sounds like a lot of trouble, considering you're not in any of those at the moment. And it occurs to you that you aren't really sure why you need to summon your spies anyways, your ex probably hasn't gone to great lengths to hide himself. Besides, they're just hand puppets dressed in garish and colorful zentai costumes, if not for the fact that they were magic woolen hand puppets made by your ex they'd be useless. You always preferred the Sifl and Olly ones who kept your evil tower clean, frankly.
While you reflect on what to do next, you glance through the newspaper and see if there are any dangerous jobs. Unfortunately, there aren't, though you note that your ex, Samson Schazer, has put out an ad for a juggler and listed his current address. There, see, you didn't need the spies.
There's also a story about your capture. Oh, that might jog your memory. Let's see.
"Fearsome Ghost Subdued"
"Pinkerella Pinkus Pinkerton, alias Lady Octopus Head, was captured by her arch-nemesis earlier today. She was sentenced to eternal unlife without her octopus head, greatly restricting her powers. Critics said that allowing the restless spirit to wander free is a grave mistake, even if she can't drown us all with a tidal wave any more..."
Oh, right, you're a ghost. You'd forgotten that up to now.
So you amend your plans a bit - you have to come back to life and then die. Stupid new head, why can't it remember these details sooner? Luckily, you don't have any mages prepared to revive you on your death, you don't have nearly as many powers when you're alive. In fact, you're even less powerful alive than you are right now.
Well, since you're a ghost, you don't really need the lunchbox. On a whim, you toss it to some guy named Chwoka on the other side of the fourth wall. It's time to pay Samson Schazer a visit.
As you prepare to leave the beach and head for your ex's place, you let out a sigh. It's already evening, and your horse has turned into a donkey. You hate it when this happens, the stupid thing never moves forward in this form. You back that ass up and head for your ex's place.
You double-check the address in the ad. Where is he hiding himself, again?