Twenty Quest

Questions and Answers

SpoilerShow

do you have a horse

Yes.

• Are the things you have recognizably yours? No
  
• Was your boyfriend the one that broke up with you? Yes
  
• Do you have rope? Yes
  
• Do you have an iPod? No
  
• Do you have any money? Yes
  
• Do you have a bunch of fucking useless sand just taking up space? No
  
• Do you have a gun? Yes
  
• Have you any wool? No
  
• Do you have firestarting equipment? No
  

are you sexy?

Yes.

do you have nice clothing?

No.

do your hips lie

No.

are you a girl

Yes.

Can you dance the dance of allure and lust

No.

You pull a horse, a gun, a rope, and some money out of your pocket. Unfortunately, that's it. You have a custom-made iPod made of wool that also doubles as a fire-starter, but it must still be in the pocket of the nice clothes you were wearing when you were captured. Unfortunately, those were confiscated from you.

You miss those clothes, and the iPod, but one thing you don't miss is all the sand in there. Seriously, what were you even doing with all that sand?

You find your thoughts drifting back to your ex-boyfriend. You can't help but wonder where it went wrong.

Oh, that's right. Your damned hips. They can't tell a lie. If not for that, he wouldn't have seen through your bluff, he'd be convinced you could dance the dance of allure and lust, and you'd still be the sexiest couple in the kingdom. But no, your hips just had to reveal the truth to him.

Well, no use dwelling on the past. What matters is the future, and the future holds your death. Your head may no longer be an octopus, but you're still Lady Octopushead in your heart. You load the gun up with the loose change, sling the rope around your shoulder, hop on the horse and ride off towards your demise.

Just as soon as you can figure out where your demise is going to be, that is.