Consistency

There once was a woman from Venus
Who did remarkable things with a-

Thinking quickly, you start recite a dirty limerick. Before the gunmen realize what's going on, a muscular man dressed in black smashes through the wall, knocking the gunmen out with the debris. He rushes over to the chair you're tied to, and puts his hand over your mouth.

"Don't say that!" Censorman tells you. "There might be children watching."

Well, that plan worked out. But Censorman's still holding your mouth shut, and you're tied up. How are you going to warn anyone about Dr. Vanity's evil plan?

Let's Build A Snowman

You've finally decided on the title of your self-help book: Let's Build A Snowman! This is the perfect connecting thread for your themes of cooperation, a good sense of aesthetics, structural design, and playing in the snow.

You decide to write using your own experiences of building a snowman with someone, but you have two problems. First, you don't know anyone else around here all that well. Second, you live on a tropical island with no snow. How are you going to build a snowman here, and who are you going to convince to help you?

That escalated quickly.

"That escalated quickly," you say to the unconscious thug as the escalator carries him up. You gain only three Quip Points for this one, it's not your best work. Still, it's better than nothing.

Well, you've got a whole shopping mall full of thugs to take care of, but before that, you should invest the Quip Points you just got so you're better prepared. What skills will you upgrade this time?

somehow

It's settled. Possibly is a good sword and it's served you well, but for this job, you're going to need something with more range. You take your trusty bow, Somehow.

Now you've got to decide on your route. There are three ways you can get to the enemy castle - you can go through the Maybe Cave, the Perhaps Forest, or the Could Be Desert. The forest is relatively safe, but it's also well-patrolled. The cave is more lightly patrolled, but it dumps you out at the heavily guarded main entrance. And the desert is really nasty, but if you survive it you'll reach the lightly-guarded rear entrance. Plus they don't bother sending patrols into it.

What's it going to be?

play squelchy, ugly bass

You pick up your squelchy, ugly bass guitar and play the song "Squelchy, Ugly Bass". The giant squelchy, ugly bass is disgusted by the sound, and crawls back into the depths of the water.

You breathe a sigh of relief. With that fish out of the way, there's nothing standing between you and the squelchy, ugly base. Of course, actually infiltrating it will be tough. Before you head up the stairs, are there any last-minute preparations you need to do? You might not get another chance once you go in.